chapotraphouse

I want my phone to ring, i want to see it's her calling.

shit still hurts.

Haha im an asshole dont invite me over lol

Coworker is a creationist. I know the christian right is dominating the country right now, but I kinda forgot about these guys, let alone a ton of Americans are young earth creationists.

future archaeologists up in my pad being like "such poverty, these people had so few pottery sherds"

my cool-ass electronics--lost to corrosion, my textiles long since turned to dust. my plastics--well im trying to get rid of those so ideally they wouldnt find many. or we'll finally get those plastic-eaating bacterias to clean it all before they excavate

mixed messages lmao

Every time I get logged off and log back on it shows me the upbear count when I specifically disabled it so as to not worry about how many upbears I'm not getting why do the admins hate me so much

New Megathread nerds!

• 🐶 Join the unofficial Hexbear-adjacent Mastodon instance toots.matapacos.dog

No current struggle session discussion here on the new general megathread, i will ban you from the comm and remove your comment, have a good day/night :meow-coffee:

Once I was downtown in a big city, and I saw these street preachers wearing shirts that read "Oprah didn't die for your sins."

I said "Hold on, Bible Guy. You don't know that. She's still alive. There's time."

Fox News: Hexbear's users slammed as 'Marxist-Leninists'.

etruria's reputation in pop culture really grinds my gears

that fucking take "well um actually the romans took credit for etruscan inventions" is so asinine and then most everyone else plays into how they're sooooo mysterious

thank you coming to my ted talk

Chip Da Rippa's Interior crocodile alligator was referring to the croc leather interior of his chevy

Chat is it flirting to send paragraphs of your Enterprise Bargaining Agreement to a new hire via Teams?

Why are asexuals so good at dogfights

'I dont give a fuck who you fuck, just dont fuck my investigation you fuck' - Debra Morgan, well done dexter writers you did it again

comeon get to 100 comments so I can post my penis based song parodies

I wish there were like people I could pay to negotiate my wage for me because I'm underpaid 10000% and need to fix it but I know that all the arguments I have will sputter out of me and I'll look stupid and my boss will use 10000 words to say "no" and without the recourse of "welp I'm out of here then, get fucked" there won't really be anything i can do about it

The Bell Beast is hard

Dunno why glasses are associated with being smart. You have to fail a test where the answers are written right in front of you to get them.

I think i picked up another gig!

I lied about my experience, they asked for one industry standard practice, I dont have that, but i did have the second banana under my belt and wanted to expand to where the real money is.

Lets go me!

smarter than your aver-age hexbear

I should have died on planet vegeta instead of coming to this backwater planet

cant believe halloween is only 1 shower away

sandwich

good sandwich

'Have you ever IVed fentanyl and xylazine?'

'You know how I get down'

my cock is much bigger than yours

my cock can walk right through the door

it is september 8 and stalin saved the world from fascism

Been changing my underwear every day for months, showering daily and other third highly desirable things. Once I got a job it's over for everyone in the dating scene, everyone past present and future none of you are safe

Silksong is huge, definitely bigger than Hollow Knight.