Lest I checked, this was a free country
this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2025
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DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO SCIENCE MAN.
I'm a bit upset people would do that with such good food.
What is the charge?! Eating a meal? A succulent Chinese meal?
What is the charge?! ~~Eating~~ Boofing a meal? A succulent Chinese meal?
Get your hands off my ~~penis~~ anus!
Sir, sir! mastication before masterbation.
Fuck you I won't do what you tell me.
I can do whatever I want >:(
Literally 1984
Yes that's how many I've gotten up there (lifetime, of course. I'm not a freak).
First they came for the spring rolls...
Then I came for the spring rolls
And I said "Hey, I was stuffing those up my ass!! Get your own!"
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Too late, please advise.
Fuckin Big Pharma, at it again
Forbidden suppository
Why? Why shouldn't I put a spring roll up me bum?
Because it offends everyone else at the Chinese buffet.
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With a pic of the perfect girth of spring rolls lmao
(Also 69th comment 🤙)
Patients are warning doctors to mind their own business
You need spring rolls with flared bases for that.
Nah, it's fine. It's digestible so you'll just pass it out the other end if you lose hold of it.
Good to know, I was sitting on the fence about this. Funny enough, the doctor said I shouldn't be boofing fenceposts either, but I'll wait until there's a consensus on that, I think.
The only thing you should put in your anus is your elbow.
No, wait, that's ears.
The only thing you should put in your anus is your ear.
No, no, that's still not right.
The only think you should put in your anus is something with a flared base.*
*If you're worrying about whether your boyfriend's penis has a flared base and you can't find a tape measure, recall that most penises are not readily detachable, and most boyfriends have hips wider than their penis, so you're in the clear.
If you're worried that this advice doesn't apply simply because you don't have a boyfriend, there's an app for that.
i thought it was that the only thing you should put in your ear was your anus so you could hear the brass section
edit: also get pink ear, can't forget about that
What about egg rolls?
Well how else are men supposed to get pregnant? Gotta have an egg to get fertilized.
I mean... I'm trying to be snarky, but I'm finding it hard to argue that it's bad advice.
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What, do you think I'm going to put that in my MOUTH???!!
eventually yeah. that's called general tzo's dickin
Where else am I supposed to store them?
About 10 years ago, I went out at the beginning of the summer to buy a few fresh pool noodles, and couldn't find them anywhere. It was that way all summer.
The next summer, they were everywhere, but now they all had a tag or sticker attached, saying "Do not insert in rectum."
So there were no pool noodles for an entire summer, because some guy saw one, and couldn't resist the compulsion to stick it up his ass.
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