this post was submitted on 29 Aug 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] Triton420@mander.xyz 204 points 1 week ago (6 children)

They’re even better if you only count white men

[–] chaosCruiser 32 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Those numbers can go down even further if you exclude everyone who isn’t a millionaire.

[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 28 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Nope. I think once you exclude women, the maternal death rates will hit their minimum.

[–] Berengaria_of_Navarre@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Soup@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

As if they’d be counted appropriately.

True. They'd not give them any recognition.

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[–] jwt@programming.dev 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Nastybutler@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Sure it can with Trump Math™! The same math the will lower drug prices 1000%, 600%, 500%, 1500% can make this possible!

[–] errer@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago

NaN gang represent

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[–] mikesizachrist@lemmy.world 103 points 1 week ago (3 children)

There's some truth to his statement as far as the numbers go and perhaps some correction is needed. Obviously, you wouldn't want to entirely remove the stats of African American women, as that would be blatantly racist, but it seems some for of compromise is warranted.

Perhaps counting only half of them? or perhaps slightly more than half, say 6/10ths

[–] massacre@lemmy.world 58 points 1 week ago

NGL, you had me going in the first half

[–] FrogmanL@lemmy.world 25 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] mikesizachrist@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago

We're not 52nd in the nation in education for nothing!

[–] humanspiral@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Perhaps counting only half of them? or perhaps slightly more than half, say 6/10ths

Very strong scientific and historical basis for going with 3/5ths. But if some stats make America look bad, I think 0/3rds would fix it, and fire the agency lead if they don't go with 0/5ths of a person for black women. America was great when it was 3/5ths, and so 0/5ths is needed immediately to make America great again before my 3rd term election.

[–] mkwt@lemmy.world 85 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)

Ah, I have a modest proposal. Let's count 60% of maternal deaths from black women. /s

[–] lectricleopard@lemmy.world 27 points 1 week ago

A government can't possibly serve the whole population. /s

[–] AreaKode@lemmy.world 26 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] TheRealKuni@piefed.social 33 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)

I might be wrong, Frank, but my reading of the text says that freed slaves fall under “the whole Number of free Persons” and thus count as 1, not three fifths.

The three fifths compromise just said slave states shouldn’t get to count slave population to get more representatives. The non-slave states wanted them not to count at all, since they don’t get representation regardless. It’s wild to me that we think of the “three fifths of all other persons” thing as the bad part, rather than the “rich assholes who owned people got more representation than those who didn’t own people because the people they owned counted toward their representative allotments.” After all, the slave owners wanted slaves to count as a full person. The problem, as always, was slavery.

[–] DickFiasco@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 week ago

We'll call it the...60% Compromise. Got a nice ring to it.

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[–] rainwall@piefed.social 67 points 1 week ago (8 children)

Dudes a piece of shit still, but the article is 3 years old.

[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago

I’m sure those rates are way better now. Because of all the beautiful winning.

[–] EndOfLine@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago

We wouldn't want people to forget what a racist Sen Bill Cassidy is.

I hope this article makes the rounds again next year, right around the time he is up for reelection.

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[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 46 points 1 week ago

"Our maternal death rates are only bad because of inherent racism in our medical industry"

[–] MyOpinion@lemmy.today 34 points 1 week ago

As expected racist pieces of shit.

[–] pixelkitty@lemmy.world 31 points 1 week ago

Damn there really isn't even a quiet part anymore is there

[–] teamevil@lemmy.world 29 points 1 week ago

On my fuck....Dude seriously...you said admitted your racist ass racist bias, what a monster.

[–] NotMyOldRedditName@lemmy.world 26 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"For whatever reason, people of color have a higher incidence of maternal mortality"

🤦

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

so close...

[–] atzanteol@sh.itjust.works 23 points 1 week ago

May 20, 2022

[–] TommySoda@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago

And our mass shooting events are pretty low when you don't count bigoted white men.

[–] logicbomb@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] underline960@sh.itjust.works 25 points 1 week ago (1 children)

He continued: "Now, I say that not to minimize the issue but to focus the issue as to where it would be. For whatever reason, people of color have a higher incidence of maternal mortality."

Maybe you should look into that, Senator.

[–] aramis87@fedia.io 7 points 1 week ago

Oh, it's probably just genetic, just like how black and Hispanic men are uniquely genetically qualified to labor in the fields ... /S

[–] DickFiasco@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

So you're going to do something to lower the maternal death rate for black women, right?

/padme.jpg

[–] humanspiral@lemmy.ca 13 points 1 week ago

Funniest headline The Onion could have ever come up with!!!!

Maybe the medicaid cuts will make the black women count rise faster than the white women count, and that will make it ok :(

[–] njm1314@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago

This is from 3 years ago.

[–] ThisGuyThat@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (7 children)

In an interview with Politico, the following words came out of Cassidy’s mouth: “About a third of our population is African American; African Americans have a higher incidence of maternal mortality. So, if you correct our population for race, we’re not as much of an outlier as it’d otherwise appear. Now, I say that not to minimize the issue but to focus the issue as to where it would be. For whatever reason, people of color have a higher incidence of maternal mortality.”

Scum POS. I'm sure he will start fixing the issue instead contributing to it.

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[–] Blumpkinhead@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

hey, donkeys are noble creatures that bond with their human and can even emotionally reciprocate.

this thing is a husk of a human being stuffed with fascist fecal matter.

[–] Tenthrow@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago
[–] DeathsEmbrace@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

A Louisiana Senator saying something racist? Not News worthy.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

Y’all need to appreciate that Louisiana’s batshit MAGAs finally ran the table and it’s something like a mix of Florida and Mississippi but with a lot more heat and pollution.

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