The lighter side of ADHD
It honestly shocks me given the number of people who have these exact same experiences that we cant do a better job of recognizing and supporting people.
You could put my photo and name in that and leave the text exactly the same and it would mirror my experience growing up.
It honestly shocks me given the number of people who have these exact same experiences that we cant do a better job of recognizing and supporting people.
I think its only a recent idea that people learn in different ways. Making a single curriculum is hard enough, making bespoke ones for each person tailored to their strengths and weaknesses requires far more resources than most educational systems have.
It's not about changing the curriculum, while it would be awesome it's not always possible. Instead I would have found someone identifying kids with ADHD and just explaining that they know I was doing 110%, but my brain just doesn't let me learn in the same way sometimes. A focus on "it's the system, NOT a your fault (try harder) issue".
If not for programming, I would have ended up a hobo without real qualifications but well versed in science fiction.
What type of programing are you able to do consistently?
(Not OP) Dabble in everything and create dozens of unfinished projects, which fits well into most corporate software strategies.
Hell I have hundreds of unfinished projects. I'm a pro at it
Only hundreds?
People shit on PMs, but it's genuinely useful to have someone coordinate breaking down a huge project into manageable chunks and keep on people to make sure they get their chunks done.
This. My best achievement were done when there was another person able to articulate goals and constraints in a way I could internalize.
I guess a lot of shit on PMs happens because not every PM is actually doing their job. Asking ‘what's the status’ every morning is surprisingly not enough
Computer, mostly.
Yup. At least I had the benefit of not really caring. I passed with Bs and Cs. Nothing particularly interested me. But if I find something I actually want to do? I will skip meals accidentally because brain is going brrrr and will not stop.
My GPA was 2.5 or something when I graduated high school. Barely.
My GPA was 3.7 when I graduated because my ability to focus was just long enough to complete high school level work mostly within class periods.
University required taking initiative and time management and holy hell I completely bombed when I ran into those barriers.
I'm afraid my daughter is going through the same. High school was no issue with the short assignments, but time management for university is a disaster. I've got no clue on what to do for her. She's undiagnosed. It was never mentioned by any school counselor but the pattern matches with what I see here.
Recommend looking at behavioral therapeutic techniques if a diagnosis is either not available or desired
Example:
Yeah i just coasted on acing all my tests and quizzes, but i never studied and rarely did any homework. I paid attention in all my classes and loved learning, i just didn't see the need to do anything once i got home. I think part of the issue was moving around so much growing up, so schools never put me in advanced classes, except for math where i would fail because it was the first time i had to actually work to pass a class. I even had 4 semesters on the Deans list when i wentt to college, but i hit a wall and couldn't do anything outside of class so i had to drop out.
I often put my head down and just listen during the boring classes, which would allow me to do well on tests for the most part. When it came to homework though I rarely did it, and if I did, it was at the very last minute to get the dopamine hit I didn't know about or understand was the reason.
In NY this led me to pass regents exams with higher averages than the classes, and in science to pass the regents but fail the class, forcing me to retake just the lab part. For round 2 I was with another kid who did the same thing (probably also undiagnosed), so we pooled our passing exams and figured out how many we needed for the D to get credit and move on.
That is exactly my experience. But my mom wouldn't get me tested because she didn't want me to be "drugged up and not the real me"
Those 6 accursed words: "if you would only apply yourself."
Na, it's just one "should"
I’ve always been multi-faceted, but it’s trapped in a brain that fucking squanders it. I was diagnosed with ADHD in the 90s. Programmer for decades; sang in a band; been drawing off and on since I was a kid; have an insane ear for following drum arrangements and knowing what’s coming; ice and inline skater since I was a child (grew up playing hockey).
No energy or drive to put all of it to use. Terrible student and traditional teaching environments have never worked for me. I was always labeled “lazy” or hit with the same “he has potential, but […]” bullshit. Programming and computer science stuff were the only things that really panned out for me. Managed to make a career out of it, despite having garbage grades, so that’s been the upside. But I always have those daydreams that crop up where I wonder what could’ve been if I had stuck more heavily with hockey, singing, or art.
Regardless, I’m in my 40s now and I like who I’ve become at the end of it all, I still skate, and I’ve been getting back into art again. You have to keep reminding yourself that everyone’s measure for success is different and you have to refrain from attaching that success to some bullshit capitalist-driven metric that ultimately means fuck all.
Are you me? Love you internet bro <3
What up, homie?! I love you back <3
I usually was lucky enough to get hyper fixated just before exams due to my anxiety. So I was a straight-A student. But it was always a struggle against myself. And it kept getting harder as I got into college, and then university. I also constantly got the "not reaching my potential" line even though I was very good academically, since I sucked in the regular classes and only shined in exams. Basically, they thought that I could do even better if I could perform that well without even trying. (I was trying my best, or least as much as my monkey brain would allow me.)
I remember when I joined high school, people thought I was cheating in exams because I barely did homework (it wasn't graded, so didn't feel any pressure to do it well) and was frequently distracted. But soon enough they realized that it's just the way I was.
Even now, I need to give myself forced deadlines by promising my colleagues/superiors so that the anxiety of embarrassment forces me to actually do my work. I want to get a diagnosis, but you guys know how hard it is for us to get motivated for that.
Hold the fuck up. This is what everyone experiences, right? It’s not a sign of ADHD, is it? What the hell?! JFC social media is how I learned I have total aphantasia and I’m not ready for this.
It’s becoming one of those things where more and more people have some bits and pieces from the spectrum. I’m convinced that a big contributor is how stupidly fast-paced our society is, and the amount of information we are expected to constantly be processing.
The massive flood of information and things to remember/learn/stay on top of absolutely makes the symptoms mkre apparent and the effects more frustrating.
"He has so much potential, if only he would apply himself" - overhearing a teacher talking to my parents. Spoiler alert adults, I physically couldn't.
I cannot describe the visceral loathing for that phrase I have
An inability to keep to routines means an inability to learn new trades. There is so much I want to do but can't because I can never learn how.
It's why I'm a software engineer. It wasn't easy to get into it. I don't just "learn" once I get bored. I had to learn on the job. But it's something that presents different challenges every day and once a job has exhausted its learning potential, I move to the next one with a different tech stack so it's interesting again.
Wasn't this just everyone's normal experience growing up? Or do I need to do an ADHD test or something?
I thought the same thing, so I took the test and yes ADD for me (though I was never hyperactive)
I did well in school until I started college. The freedom kicked my ass. Only took my 15 years for a BS.
Similar here. I finished at 34 and only then because I studied a field I intensely enjoyed. I can only imagine how different things might be if I had been diagnosed in my teens instead of my forties.
I lapsed on getting my Adderall refilled for about a month (yay self-fulfilling prophecy kinda). Finally got back on it this week and single-handedly resolved an issue on one of our big tools here at work that has been plaguing us for a couple years now.
I'm gonna ride that high for a while.
How do you even get diagnosed
I got diagnosed a few months ago at 37. I live in the US and have Kaiser as my insurance provider. I tried to go through them and they wanted me to jump through several hoops. Stop drinking and smoking weed for 6 weeks, get school transcripts from as far back as elementary school, and even then they said they were very busy and appointments were tough to get in a timely manner. I found a place nearby that specialized in mental health "through the lens of ADHD" but did not take any kind of insurance. It was pricey but if it helps I think it's worth it. I set up my initial evaluation, answered some questions, filled out some forms, went to the evaluation and got diagnosed. $800 so far. They offered a few treatment options: therapy, executive function coaching, and medication. For the coaching they recommend weekly or biweekly sessions for about 6 months. Wasn't trying to spend that much at this point. Don't remember how much they wanted for the therapy. I went the medication route, there was an initial virtual session followed by an in-person session which I did this week. They gave me a good explaination about what ADHD is and what it does, as well as what some of the more commonly used meds do, and put me on a starting dose of ritalin which I might pick up today. I have a follow up appointment in about a month where they'll evaluate if the ritalin is a good option and if they need to adjust the dose. I think so far it's cost me about $2000, but once we find out the right meds and dosage my doc at Kaiser said he's open to having those transfered to the Kaiser pharmacy.
Hey, I resemble that remark! Diagnosed in my 40s and still can't get stimulant meds because drug cartels or some shit
I see this differently: Whenever I enter a new environment everyone immediately sees my potential and gives me better deals (not money, I'm trying to be as abstract as possible).
In other words, I scam everyone because people really care about projected potential. They give me stuff because of my potential which will never come.
Girls, internships, etc.
So no, the teacher didn't see your potential. You scammed them with your adhd coping mechanisms.
Potential? I just want money to live in this fucking world