this post was submitted on 13 Aug 2025
184 points (96.9% liked)

Not The Onion

18201 readers
1041 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 44 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] SaltSong@startrek.website 109 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Very nice.

How about those Epstein files?

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

This should be something to help take his mind off those for awhile.

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 83 points 1 month ago (1 children)

10 years back this would've been a sketch on SNL.

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

you mean just before the trump run for presidency?

[–] KarlHungus42@lemmy.world 61 points 1 month ago

It took a lot less time for Idiocracy to come to fruition than I expected. What a fucking clown show.

[–] favoredponcho@lemmy.zip 53 points 1 month ago (3 children)
[–] WhatAmLemmy@lemmy.world 21 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Actual idiocracy with a mental illness epidemic.

[–] huppakee@feddit.nl 17 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Don't forget all the fascism.

[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

And the fox news. Hey rest of the english-speaking world, notice your right wing media getting bigger?

what a coincidence

[–] WhatAmLemmy@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

The fascism is a symptom of the mental illness; narcissism and empathetic deficiency coupled with stupidity.

[–] kadaverin0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Try living here. It's like being trapped in a trashy micro-budget reality TV show about a demented pedophile turning the entire country into the most embarrassing laughingstock on the planet and the smoothed-brained dipshits who love him for it.

[–] ebolapie@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

It is the Century of American Humiliation. At least I hope it only lasts a century.

[–] DarkFuture@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Yup.

A nation of dimwits and losers.

And we're going to find out what happens to stupid countries over the next few years.

[–] MushuChupacabra@lemmy.world 50 points 1 month ago

Can we buy advertising space on the canvas?

How much would it cost to have Release the Epstein Files all over the octagon?

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 29 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The White Trash House. I bet they'll pull out couches on the lawn to watch it.

[–] phdepressed@sh.itjust.works 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I don't think Vance pulls out.

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Ah, yes, I forgot. Probably the only reason they haven't put their couches on the lawn yet, is that they don't want the public to see JD fucking them.

[–] catchy_name@feddit.it 17 points 1 month ago

Already done in the movie “Idiocracy” which seems to have done a solid job of predicting the future.

[–] SassyRamen@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Arrest this orange prick, how much more will Americans lay down and take as this traitor rapes our children, women, and country?! Fuck this ruZZian piece of garbage named trump!

[–] Witchfire@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Trump needs to stand before the judges at Nuremberg, and that's honestly being kind to him

[–] wetbeardhairs@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Is it going to be a death match between Trump and Biden? I'd pay to watch that.

[–] fossilesque@mander.xyz 14 points 1 month ago

We should normalize bullying politicians again. https://mymodernmet.com/la-tonca-trento/

[–] Jackusflackus@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

I’d rather see Trump vs Putin. Make it a fight to the death. Would be nice to get rid of atleast 1 of them.

[–] takeda@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 month ago

That fight would end up with trump's face permanently stuck around putin's crotch.

[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 7 points 1 month ago

Only if the winner also dies.

[–] wetbeardhairs@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Putin was a Judo champion 30 years ago. I betting on him to win that one.

[–] QuoVadisHomines@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Kind of? It’s like Tate’s”World Championship” title in kickboxing in that “the world” was not actually the world

[–] huppakee@feddit.nl 5 points 1 month ago

Even someone who won a local championship 40 years ago would likely win against Trump though, especially if they are forced to play by the rules.

[–] baggachipz@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Can’t wait for the Gathering of the Juggalos in the rose garden.

[–] Tujio@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Nah, Violent J endorsed Harris.

They'll do a knockoff Gathering, but with KISS fans, because Gene Simmons is a POS.

[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

He is, but I think after trump dissed him he isn’t as big of a trumper as before.

[–] P00ptart@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Rose garden was paved over, remember?

[–] kikutwo@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Way to keep it classy Orangetard

[–] QuoVadisHomines@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago

Don’t engage in ableism while calling out Trump’s classlessness please.

[–] BigMacHole@sopuli.xyz 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Two Sweaty men GRABBING each other? That's ILLEGAL according to Mike Lee's Pornography bill!

[–] Plurrbear@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

That’s what I am saying…

[–] Deflated0ne@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

I hope everyone involved in this dies screaming. In minecraft.

[–] DarkFuture@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

Do you think women in attendance will have to wear burqas or is that not coming down the pipe until next year?

[–] kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

The man had had money, high class peers, and has traveled the world his whole life. How is he more white trash than the Trailer Park Boys?

[–] halcyoncmdr@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Are we finally getting the Musk v. Zuckerberg fight we were promised so long ago?

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Who cares about a stupid publicity stunt pfff

[–] rustyfish@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Time for James Cameron to raise the bar.

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 3 points 1 month ago

Two men enter, one man leaves!

[–] Plurrbear@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Wouldn’t this be considered “illegal” under new bills?!