this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Monster96@lemmy.world 99 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] s@piefed.world 63 points 1 month ago (3 children)

If I become my waifu, do I cease to be real?

[–] SassyRamen@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

That was my first thought!

[–] Obi@sopuli.xyz 11 points 1 month ago

If not, then the premise should really be: "your Waifu becomes real, but there's a 50% chance you are the one becoming your Waifu".

[–] tacosanonymous@mander.xyz 4 points 1 month ago
[–] Tigeroovy@lemmy.ca 43 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I’m a 38 year old man, I don’t have a waifu.

[–] TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 58 points 1 month ago (6 children)

I'm so sorry that happened to you

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[–] nialv7@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

So you either get nothing or you cease to exist.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

I'm a 30 year old woman, I just have an ordinary wife

[–] MTK@lemmy.world 38 points 1 month ago (2 children)

The small print here is that if you become your waifu it's just that you are eternally trapped as a body pillow for some creepy dude that fucks you and lets the cum dry up and flake off naturally.

[–] serenissi@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] MTK@lemmy.world 24 points 1 month ago

If I pressed the button you would

[–] MarriedCavelady50@lemmy.ml 18 points 1 month ago

It’s a yes or no question bud

[–] LordKitsuna@lemmy.world 34 points 1 month ago

Literally who would say no to that? Win either way

[–] RepleteLocum@lemmy.blahaj.zone 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Not that shitty porn game ad. I had to block the guy on Reddit, because he spammed it everywhere and now I gotta see this shit on lemmy too.

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@piefed.world 27 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Wait, have I missed some internet porn lore?

[–] MattW03@lemmy.ca 25 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)
[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

the character in the photo is from the porn game Another Chance

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[–] npdean@lemmy.today 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Anons, would you fuck yourself?

[–] baldingpudenda@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago

I've been fucking myself since like 11.

[–] Mk23simp@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Only 50/50? Can I spam the button to get both guaranteed?

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[–] Electricd@lemmybefree.net 11 points 1 month ago

Degens will say this is a win win scenario

This is a win win scenario

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 11 points 1 month ago

You guys have waifus?

[–] Afflictedlife@lemmy.ml 10 points 1 month ago

Wifu doesn't exist, win win

[–] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Jokes on you, I don't have a waifu. That would mean I have a 50% chance of becoming nothing.

[–] JigglySackles@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

....presspresspresspresspresspresspresspresspresspresspresspresspresspresspress

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[–] cmgvd3lw@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)
[–] Allero@lemmy.today 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

A character, most commonly from anime, that the person is obsessed with and would love to move to real life to marry.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

ohhhhh jessica rabbit

[–] synapse1278@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago (2 children)
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[–] Carrot@lemmy.today 9 points 1 month ago

50% chance of your 50% chance of you waifu becoming real becoming your waifu

[–] potato_wallrus@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I see no downside to this whatsoever, either way something's going in my ass

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Having partner of my type or me becoming my type? I can't lose!

[–] Nosavingthrow@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

"Of course I don"t mind that you never clean your sheets. Make love to me on your can pile!"

[–] tatann@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Joke's on you, my waifu is bi so I could still get girls

[–] TheAristocrat@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

My wife says she wins either way.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Reminds me of the bisexual awakening a lot of people have where they see people of their gender and mistakes their attraction to them as wanting to look more like them.

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[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 5 points 1 month ago

I'm happily married, so my wife is real. I'm not really sure how to interpret waifu in my scenario. There's not like one particular fictional character I like above others. Maybe Catra from She-Ra? So, if she became real it's not really like I'd be able to pursue her since I'm married. If I turned into her that would be terrifying because I would be a cat person with ears and a tail.

If I could know who my waifu is before pushing the button I would consider it, but if I don't then there's no way. The chances of being turned into something that's not human are too high. Like what if the "true waifu of my heart" is a succubus or something? How am I gonna live in society not looking like a person? That's sort of terrifying.

Just to make the discussion more interesting and less about a weird meta analysis, let's assume my waifu is a human person. Let's assume it's a woman. I'm open to the idea of a 50% chance of turning into a woman I find very attractive. I don't really have gender dysphoria, but there are a lot of things about my body I find unattractive that really bother me.

[–] C1pher@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Nah, no more beings deserve to exist in this cursed reality.

[–] ileftreddit@piefed.social 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

But do I become her and then have to be married to myself?

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[–] bastion@feddit.nl 4 points 1 month ago
[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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