Ask Lemmy

Ryokan, a Zen master, lived the simplest kind of life in a little hut at the foot of a mountain. One evening, a thief visited the hut only to discover there was nothing to steal.

Ryokan returned and caught him. "You have come a long way to visit me," he told the prowler, "and you should not return empty-handed. Please, take my clothes as a gift."

The thief was bewildered. He took the clothes and slunk away.

Ryoken sat naked, watching the moon. "Poor fellow," he mused, "I wish I could have given him this beautiful moon."

There is a wonderful story about Ikkyu, a Zen monk who lived in the fifteenth century in Japan. It seems the governor of the province where Ikkyu lived posted a sign next to a twisted and gnarled pine tree. If you’ve hiked in high altitudes, or along the coast, you can often see trees like this – trees that have been sculpted by the artistic winds and rain they are exposed to. The sign read, ”Whoever can see this crooked pine tree as straight will receive a prize.”

“People who walked past the tree and read the sign stopped and tried to figure out this riddle. How could they see this crooked tree as straight? Many people circled the tree, some several times. Others laid flat on the ground and looked up from below. A few climbed the tree and one person brought a ladder so as to get a glimpse of the tree from above the crown. “But nobody figured out how to see the crooked tree as straight.”

“So the riddle went unsolved and word of this challenge spread throughout the province.”

“One day Ikyu came walking by and read the sign. He looked at the tree and immediately went to the governor’s estate. He claimed, ” I have solved the riddle and would like my prize.” Somewhat surprised, and perhaps a bit suspicious the governor asked, “how did you see the crooked tree straight?” And Ikkyu answered, “It is crooked.” A crooked tree is crooked and to see it “just as it is” is to see it straight.”

I used to have a favorite Zen koan, but I no longer feel an attachment to it. (/jk)

If you have ice cream, I will give it to you.

If you have no ice cream, I will take it away from you.

This is an Ice Cream Koan.

FIVE TONS OF FLAX

I made one myself in my native Dutch language.

The word for 'rope' is 'tauw', which is pronounced like Tao.

'ik kan er geen Tauw aan vastknopen' literally means 'i can't tie a knot to it' but means 'i don't understand a thing about it'.

So: ' Ik kan er geen Tao aan vastknopen' is kind of a koan.

if the brain was simple enough for us to understand ; then we wouldn't be able to understand it.

When you can't do anything, what can you do?

If you return your bones to your father and your flesh to your mother, where will you be then?

Gutei's finger.

Also: He who thinks he understands Zen does not understand.

If you immediately know the candlelight is fire, then the meal was cooked a long time ago.

Lisa, listen up!

None, I hate them.