this post was submitted on 15 Jul 2025
463 points (95.0% liked)

memes

16242 readers
3121 users here now

Community rules

1. Be civilNo trolling, bigotry or other insulting / annoying behaviour

2. No politicsThis is non-politics community. For political memes please go to !politicalmemes@lemmy.world

3. No recent repostsCheck for reposts when posting a meme, you can only repost after 1 month

4. No botsNo bots without the express approval of the mods or the admins

5. No Spam/AdsNo advertisements or spam. This is an instance rule and the only way to live.

A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment

Sister communities

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] pyre@lemmy.world 4 points 13 hours ago

i still don't understand how people do this dry. disgusting.

[–] RawrGuthlaf@lemmy.sdf.org 6 points 16 hours ago

South park, season 26 episode 3, I highly recommend.

[–] modifier@lemmy.ca 20 points 23 hours ago (4 children)

Which is why bidet is the only civilized solution.

Toilet paper is for dabbing your little tushy dry, not raking across, and smashing in, loose poopy on your ass.

[–] rimjob_rainer@discuss.tchncs.de 12 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Love my Japanese toilets. It's funny that people find them gross here. I think it's gross to only use paper to remove shit from your ass. If you get shit on your hands, would you only wipe them with paper?

[–] thatradomguy@lemmy.world 10 points 19 hours ago

Reading this and then immediately reading your username made me lol. But fair.

[–] Olhonestjim@lemmy.world 6 points 20 hours ago

Toilet paper is also for cleaning the seat and rim of the bowl, every single time. Bidets shouldn't be amazing, but given traditional society, they certainly are.

[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.world 6 points 22 hours ago

Yarp, and when you are cutting jalapenos and accidentally touch your eyes it doubles as an emergency eye wash. /s

I do love my bidet though

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 4 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

I bet your ass smells like apple pie.

[–] modifier@lemmy.ca 8 points 22 hours ago

Well you’re wrong because it smells like Apple Strudel but for reasons that are wholly unrelated to bidet.

[–] omgboom@lemmy.dbzer0.com 71 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (4 children)

I purchased a relatively cheap bidet recently and it is the single best life upgrade I have ever made . It paid for itself in the first 2 months of not having to buy toilet paper (or at least not nearly as much). It is amazing, I highly recommend.

[–] anachrohack@piefed.world 36 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] biggerbogboy@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Hadriscus@jlai.lu 8 points 1 day ago

The waffle rifle

[–] st3ph3n@midwest.social 25 points 1 day ago

Preach the bidet gospel, brother.

So many dudes can't get over the butt stuff, it's hilarious.

[–] HeyJoe@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago (2 children)

2 months! I should try this out... if i was still single, a 12 pack would last me like 3 months if not more. Having a wife? A 36 pack lasts like 1 month... its literally a roll a day. It drives me nuts because I honestly can't understand how half of that isn't just waste (if not more).

[–] ryannathans@aussie.zone 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yeah women in my house use over a roll per day too and I have no idea how because a roll lasts me over a month

[–] Rocketpoweredgorilla@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'm half convinced my daughter eats the stuff.

[–] devfuuu@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago

It's a good strategy. When it exits it auto cleans.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago (18 children)

Two things I don’t get about bidets: How do you know you’re clean, and how do you dry off without leaving toilet paper lint everywhere?

[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 4 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

I don’t get about bidets: How do you know you’re clean

Precisely my question to those who don't use them

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 4 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

You know you're clean when there's no poo on the paper.

[–] Ephera@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 day ago

You can check whether you're clean with a toilet paper, if you're unsure. But I did so a few times at the beginning and never had stained toilet paper (so long as I didn't stick it inside, I guess), so I don't bother anymore.

In particular, you also feel cleaner when you regularly use a bidet (like you're freshly showered), so that also makes it easier to feel when you aren't clean...

load more comments (16 replies)
[–] Bahnd@lemmy.world 18 points 23 hours ago

Hahahahah, you dont know how to use the three sea shells.

[–] anachrohack@piefed.world 36 points 1 day ago (11 children)

I went to Thailand at the end of last year and used a simple bidet (called a bum gun) for the first time. The VERY first thing I did when I got home to the US was buy one of these kits for like $30 and installed it on my toilet myself. Took like 15mins and changed my life. Now whenever I travel around the US I feel like a savage, having to take a shit in hotel and office bathrooms without a bidet.

[–] gramie@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 day ago (2 children)

You can also buy travel bidets. Basically squeeze bottles that you can direct to the right places. Not as good as an actual bidet, but better than nothing.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (10 replies)
[–] klu9@piefed.social 27 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

scoop shit out of your ass

I think OP goes deeper than I do. A lot deeper.

[–] TurboHarbinger@feddit.cl 5 points 17 hours ago

Try finger but hole.

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

His look clearly says "WTF. 'Out' of?! How many knuckles deep do you think is normal, and who taught you that?"

[–] Demdaru@lemmy.world 10 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Who shits anyway? Just go elbow deep, grab that sonova and drag it outta 'ere.

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 20 hours ago

Which came first? Muddin' for catfish or shit-fishin' your own swamp?

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Scooping..? Can I introduce you to a thing called fiber?

[–] TheReanuKeeves@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Ya seriously, if you have enough structure to your poop you won't need to scoop. You can pull them out like when you make a small cut just big enough for 1 wiener in a pack of hot dogs to limit oxidation.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] orbituary@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Get a bidet. Get a bidet. Get a bidet.

Why are we still neanderthals about this?

load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›