this post was submitted on 02 Jul 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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top 16 comments
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[–] preussischblau@lemmy.ca 38 points 2 days ago (3 children)

I really rather like oatmeal raisin cookies.

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 6 points 2 days ago

As long as they are done properly, with a bit of cinnamon at least, they are delicious.

I've had both good and bad versions.

[–] Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 days ago

There are dozens of us, dozens!

[–] dumbass@quokk.au 3 points 2 days ago

BURN THE HEATHEN!

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 7 points 2 days ago

I don't ask for much but if the cookie dough god does exist may he produce unlimited cookies inside every evil person on the planet. Let's go easy, 1 cookie per minute for the first day. Double that every hour until they repent... I mean rip and pop.

[–] Lembot_0004@discuss.online 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

What's the point? Water to wine is really cool, shit to fish is also cool. But slightly change the cookie ingredients? That's my grandmother's level. She's a nice woman but doesn't claim some voodoo-smoodoo goddo powers.

[–] makyo@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Raisins to chocolate is absolutely god tier

[–] Lembot_0004@discuss.online 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Have you bought your god at Temu? Replace it with something less pathetic. Carrots to chicken tier at least.

[–] alaphic@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Bro, carrots to chicken? Really? You literally had anything to anything to choose from here - while attempting to literally one-up a god, mind - sky's the limit and everything, and that's what you settle on?

Not rocks into gold, sand into heroin, water into a 40 year old scotch, pee into milkshakes; nah, that'd be fuckin lame compared to carrots into motherfuckin chicken! I mean, I get it, kinda, cuz I'm not into carrots and would prefer chicken in its place 100% of the time, but... I'm just sayin, compared to some of the possibilities that's like mid at best, prolly more like a sidegrade if we're being honest.

Oooh, every other flavor Starburst into pink! Boom. Talk about unlimited cosmic power

[–] Lembot_0004@discuss.online 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Shhh, you're frightening the guy whose max dreams were raisins to chocolate. Don't overwhelm him. Be calm and nice.

[–] makyo@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Yeah I'm really quivering over here

[–] ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Jesus warranted being followed even if he didn't perform any miracles... I mean, whatever connection you think he had to God, the man was a brave anti-imperialist and revolutionary thinker (and a proto-feminist/egalitarian too), after all. Then the Romans hollowed out his ideology and the rest is history.

[–] NoneOfUrBusiness@fedia.io 4 points 2 days ago

Not that I disagree, but username checks out.

[–] altkey@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 days ago

But would Jesus complain if there was a mistake in his order, would he swap it himself or just let it be?

[–] Hylactor@sopuli.xyz 4 points 2 days ago

The real miracle was creating chocolate chip cookies 1,908 years or so before they were invented.

[–] thagoat@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 2 days ago

Our savior! Under his eye!