this post was submitted on 02 Jul 2025
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chapotraphouse

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[–] ThermonuclearEgg@hexbear.net 29 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Where's the option for tea? lenin-tea

[–] Keld@hexbear.net 19 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)
[–] shath@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] alexei_1917@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

You're specifically the British or English local party of whatever your tendency is, then. Tendency probably depends on whether you use individual mugs or a teapot, how you heat the water, and whether you use teabags or looseleaf, and if looseleaf, the exact way that you put it into the water and remove it from the steeped tea.

(Or, you're a modern Chinese commie, see the pics of Xi with two teacups in front of him. But I like the British party branch joke better. Took me longer to write.)

[–] MizuTama@hexbear.net 23 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Where is the option for 5 energy drinks and heart palpitations?

[–] Keld@hexbear.net 22 points 1 month ago

Welcome to the situationist international.

[–] MemesAreTheory@hexbear.net 17 points 1 month ago

Oh no, that's anarcho-capitalist, you've come to the wrong club.

[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 18 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

Where's the option for two scoops of shitty processed instant coffee? Black.

[–] glimmer_twin@hexbear.net 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago

I need that damn drug or I want to kill everyone I see

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 7 points 1 month ago

That would be Bonglerite

The worse it tastes the better

[–] glimmer_twin@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Half of this stuff is burgerland crimes against humanity that in any sane country wouldn’t even be considered methods of coffee preparation

[–] Cysioland@lemmygrad.ml 11 points 1 month ago (4 children)

burgerland crimes against humanity is when percolation

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[–] alexei_1917@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago (4 children)

You should see how Americans make tea. It's even worse.

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[–] TraschcanOfIdeology@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

The moka pot being leftcom is very accurate considering how many insufferable leftcoms there are in Italy.

[–] GenderIsOpSec@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago

i guess i gotta up my bunker building vivian-shrug

[–] Arahnya@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago

Instant coffee equal parts sugar and water, whipped into a thick foam and served into a hot liquid with powdered non dairy cream. So, prison abolitionist.

[–] Dort_Owl@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago (2 children)

laughs maniacally in instant coffee

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago

They had a sale on Beanie's at the HomeGoods

How could I say no to coffee that tastes like smores?

[–] Owl@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I have a normal drip coffee machine (ML) but it's a goofy one with an internal karaffe so it looks like a keurig (Trot)

Feel free to invent a new tendency

[–] alexei_1917@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago

Feel free to invent a new tendency

Like the Trots keep doing? (Party splits)

Or... Trot pretending to be a proper ML... I've run into a few of those. Most Trots are proud of being Trots (they shouldn't be, but at least it makes 'em easy to spot and ignore), but there's a few weirdos out there...

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[–] DengistDonnieDarko@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I would defend my good friend Mr Coffee to the death. I also whisper secrets to it in the middle of the night, just in case the CPC truly is spying on me through it's hot plate.

[–] alexei_1917@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago

You should read the Communist Coffee Maker story on NotAlwaysRight. I also seem to remember another story I saw online where clueless Americans accused the CPC of spying on them through cheap coffee machines made in China... like a good 90% of cheap consumer crap on Turtle Island. It's not just coffee machines! It's all bloody made in China! But they're not worried about any other consumer goods spying on them...

[–] mathemachristian@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago (2 children)
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[–] HonestMistake_@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

What even are all these bougie contraptions

[–] fox@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago

Drip machine, espresso machine, star trek replicator, v60, chemex, moka pot, Nespresso machine, French press. There's a billion ways to extract coffee (beverage) from coffee (bean) and this is some of the more popular ones, plus replicators which I imagine skip the extraction step.

[–] Packet@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Real marxists dump coffee grounds into their mouth, grind them to fine dust using their bare teeth(trained using capital), and then pouring the hot water into their mouth, boiled from a white maoist anger. They then let the mixture sit for exactly 10 paragraphs of theory reading and spewing it out, drink from a cup they stole from a liberal

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[–] WoodScientist@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago

What if I make my coffee in an offbrand Keurig-style pod brewer, but instead of buying pods, I use refillable pod inserts?

It's got to be something weird. Wait, goddamnit, am I Juche?

[–] iByteABit@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago

Deep inside I knew I was a filthy LIB

[–] lil_tank@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

How you doin fellow liberals

[–] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago

I wake up every morning with a cool glass of water, poured over the unquenchable insurrectionary fire in my belly.

this creates the steam which billows from my ears as I read the morning's emails from management.

[–] MolotovHalfEmpty@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

What would an aeropress be?

[–] Chana@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago (3 children)
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[–] CommunistBear@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Where does energy drinks and caffeine pills come in?

[–] Chana@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago

Lone wolf adventurist

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[–] Meltyheartlove@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago

Cheap Instant coffee kitty-cri

[–] TommyBeans@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago

Instant is never on these, that must make me a lib

[–] shath@hexbear.net 7 points 1 month ago

mmmmmm chemex

Damn I suppose it does. I have the cheapest $10 drip coffee machine I’ve been using since Covid.

[–] Cowbee@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago

Funny enough, I did used to be a V60 person, and I did used to be an anarchist, haha. Though I'm ML now and there are no lever/manual espresso machines listed up there, so it doesn't match anymore. Looks like the aeropress is also missing, that's another big one.

[–] Antiwork@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago

Obama-Maoist

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