this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] gedaliyah@lemmy.world 65 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Residents of Floxas notice no change.

[–] WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 4 days ago

I was about to say—we lost the panhandle, and nobody realistically knows what lives there anyway.

[–] arrow74@lemmy.zip 5 points 4 days ago

I think it becomes the most populous state

[–] Hjalamanger@feddit.nu 38 points 4 days ago (2 children)

You should sort them in alphabetical order, my European brain won't be able to remember them otherwise

[–] makyo@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago

And put them all to a catchy jingle

[–] Lv_InSaNe_vL@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

You just gotta remember the mnemonic for them!

Many Wild Owls In Winter Never Make Unusual Noises, Always Calm and Focused

But that's just taught to us in class as little kids so I forget it's not second nature for the rest of the world!

[–] Lembot_0004@discuss.online 34 points 4 days ago (3 children)

One line would be enough: to divide North from South.

[–] gedaliyah@lemmy.world 55 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I think we tried that once.

[–] Lembot_0004@discuss.online 10 points 4 days ago (1 children)

At that time only the South wanted independence, now it might be that both parts would rather live on their own.

[–] CorruptCheesecake@lemmy.world 14 points 4 days ago (1 children)

These welfare queen red states would turn into Somalia in short order. If I can't make it back to a blue state before the borders close I'm going to fucking kill myself.

[–] Lembot_0004@discuss.online 8 points 4 days ago (3 children)

Better to have a small Somalia2 than turn all the US into the Beautiful Somalia of Covfefe, don't you agree?

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[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago (1 children)

bible belt and sane people

[–] CorruptCheesecake@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

Insular, gossipy, ugly, unintelligible, poorly dressed crazy religious dumbfucks and normal humans who actually have empathy and can accept their town gaining new residents without throwing a redneck tantrum about it every day while said new resident occupies free real estate in their moldy swamp brains.

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[–] evening_push579@feddit.nu 24 points 4 days ago

Split it along the time zones instead. Less states and simpler administration. Washington DC can be its own time zone just to mess with people.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 16 points 3 days ago

I feel like idiota would be overcrowded

[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 7 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] pineapplelover@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 days ago

"Where you from?"

"Middle"

as an Oregonian I 100% accpt the decision to merge us with Warshington

[–] fraksken@infosec.pub 15 points 4 days ago

Floxas made me lol

[–] mhague@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Flower petal distribution.

Like a voronoi grid with limited colors, each color a state. Every state would have a bit of everything.

[–] rustydrd@sh.itjust.works 9 points 3 days ago

Utucky

No u.

[–] Hubbubbub@fedia.io 15 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Fuck that. The Northeast created this country and we're not gonna be erased.

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 34 points 4 days ago (1 children)

you also created new jersey, take some fuckin responsibility for your sins

[–] VoteNixon2016@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Fine, New Jersey is taking its Unix and going home then

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago (2 children)

oh shit.

well, bsd, er, linux-shit... uh.... TempleOS it is!

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[–] moakley@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago (2 children)

As a resident of Floxus, I propose we make the creeping phlox our state flower.

(It smells like rotting skunk.)

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

isn't that the shit that Trump smells like?

[–] Pulptastic@midwest.social 3 points 2 days ago

Flopsweat and diaper rash cream

[–] pruwybn@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 4 days ago

I like how the map shows the curvature of the north border (49th parallel), meaning all these lines bulge north in the middle.

[–] Sir_Premiumhengst@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago

Alascanada?

Hawacuba?

[–] jaupsinluggies@feddit.uk 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Americans are so dumb when it comes to timezones we could just assign Maintana to GMT+5, Washconsin GMT+6 and so on downwards. It wouldn't make any difference to them and it'd be a lot more fun for the rest of us.

True story: "The meeting is at 1500 EDT". "Your state is currently on EST so if I turn up at the specified time I'll be an hour late. Are you sure it's 1500 EDT and not 1500 EST?" "Yes, definitely 1500 EDT". /me turns up at 1500 EDT to find the meeting has already finished.

I misread IDOTA as IDIOTA.

[–] pyre@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

no that's floxas

[–] the_crotch@sh.itjust.works 7 points 3 days ago
[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 4 points 3 days ago

this unironically looks like how some colonies used ro be divvied up. fitting for a colonial empire.

[–] thatradomguy@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

If Dr Suess was in charge of naming the states:

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (4 children)

I especially like IDiOTA

Also

America's borders

USA borders.

[–] OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago (2 children)

“America” is a shortened name for “United States of America,” in addition to the name of the continent. It can be both, you know.

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[–] makyo@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (7 children)

Believe it or not, those two terms are used interchangably and somehow no one gets confused. A continent AND a country can both have the same name without the world ending.

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[–] doingthestuff@lemy.lol 3 points 3 days ago

Now I want to see this cross referenced to a population map and overlay major cities and show us the population of each new state and what cities would be in each.

[–] ashenone@lemmy.ml 6 points 4 days ago

Maintana most beautiful state

[–] frezik@midwest.social 3 points 3 days ago

Which sports team am I supposed to root for with this map? Do you expect me to make a careful analysis of team history and current lineup? Or do I pick the one in the state I was born in like a normal person?

[–] WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago (5 children)

Bullshit. I just moved from Oklahoma to California to escape the hell hole that is that backwards ass state and I'm not reincorporating.

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