this post was submitted on 01 Feb 2024
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A Taco Bell finally opened up where I live, and we are going to go try it tonight. What should I try and what should I avoid?

Of course I know I should try another restaurant and avoid Taco Bell, that's too obvious, but what is life without a little Adventure.

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[–] captainjaneway@lemmy.world 136 points 9 months ago (7 children)
[–] VelociCatTurd@lemmy.world 22 points 9 months ago (2 children)

This and the mini Cinnabon balls, holy shit

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[–] protist@mander.xyz 10 points 9 months ago

This, OP. If you're going to do this to yourself, at least do it right.

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[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 128 points 9 months ago (17 children)

Legit, your first thing to try is a taco. One soft, one crunchy. That's actually the best and simplest food they have. You'll get an idea if you actually like the way they tend to spice things, and that matters because it's where most of the flavor comes in. Then try the dorito version. It's disgusting, but in a good way.

There's really nothing to outright avoid unless you have a sensitive gut. They don't have much that's super spicy, and they mark it clearly. But the grease factor runs very high on all their beef options, so if that's not something your gut likes, you will be spending some of your next day jogging back and forth to the toilet. Since that grease tends to pick up any spice, the hotter options amplify it.

Being real, Taco Bell doesn't deserve the hate it gets any more than any other fast food. It ain't real Mexican, it ain't real southwestern or texmex either. It just takes "inspiration" from that kind of thing.

Now, back in my younger days, running d&d games with other teenagers and early 20s monkeys, taco bell was the only option late at night for those long sessions. So I ate way more of it than I should have lol.

My personal favorite was the 7 layer burrito. That shit was bomb. But you can mimic it. Order a cheesy bean & rice burrito change it to "fresco", add three cheese blend, lettuce, guac, plus tomatoes and sour cream. You will be farting! But it is worth it.

Now, the "Mexican pizza" is another classic that they're famous for. My best friend was super into them, it was all he ever got back in the nineties. It's not bad. Not great, but not bad either. Kinda just a taco with extra steps, but the way you end up eating it has the ingredients hit your tongue in different ways.

There's the black bean crunch wrap supreme too. It's a giant, fart causing calorie bomb, but the black beans really are nice.

I find chalupas and gorditas to be a gimmick that isn't worth the extra cost over tacos.

One of the surprisingly addictive things they have is the grilled cheese burrito. It's kinda nuts. 700+ calories. Beef, rice, cheese sauce, sour cream, cheese mix, chipotle sauce, and "fiesta strips". Now, I have no fucking clue what is in the fiesta strips. Maybe it's chitlins made from the guts of immigrants, maybe it's a magic spell, but fuck me running, they make that fucking burrito rock. It is a gut bomb from hell, but it's worth it.

You kinda gotta try the cinnamon twists too, even though they're kinda shitty. It's like the downs syndrome version of a churro.

Thing with Taco Bell though, you gotta get the sauce packets. Mild is mostly pointless tbh. It adds a little zing, but you have to use two packs per taco to really notice it's there. The hot is probably not going to do your gut any favors, but calling it hot is a bit of a stretch when it comes to spiciness in the mouth. The fire though? You'll know it's there even if you just add a little. It'll make your lips tingle a little. I don't recommend the Diablo unless you like heat over flavor. If you really like heat, buy a better sauce that tastes good as well. It'll light you up decently, but that's really all it brings imo. The other "levels" have decent flavor under their heat.

Their quesadillas are all "okay". They're basic, mild flavored, but can fill you up decently. If I go that route, I like little extra sour cream on the side and a generous drizzle of sauce.

Again, don't expect this to be some kind of 5star dining. It's cheap, it's fast, and it's designed to hit you with enough salt and fats wrapped in some carbs that you'll feel plenty full. If you want something with nuanced flavors and depth, taco bell ain't it. But there's really no other chain food like it.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 36 points 9 months ago

LOL, OP could not have found a better answer.

/thread

[–] pacmondo@sh.itjust.works 22 points 9 months ago

I have never eaten at taco bell before but now I feel like I have. Thank you for this high effort as fuck post.

[–] lazylion_ca@lemmy.ca 18 points 9 months ago

You should do a food critic video series.

[–] eldoom@lemmy.ml 16 points 9 months ago

This is the best, most comprehensive review on Taco Bell this planet has ever seen.

[–] kellyaster@kbin.social 16 points 9 months ago

OP, listen to this man, he knows his Taco Bell.

[–] Rodeo@lemmy.ca 15 points 9 months ago
[–] Ltcpanic@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I chortled at the churros lolol

[–] thefactremains@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago

It's disgusting, but in a good way.

Accurate

[–] felixwhynot@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago

Pretty sure fiesta strips are just tortilla strips?

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[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 48 points 9 months ago
[–] salvaria@lemmy.blahaj.zone 46 points 9 months ago (1 children)

My boyfriend is a Taco Bell fanatic. I asked him and he told me "a grilled cheese burrito, a crunchwrap supreme, and nacho fries if they have them". Enjoy!

[–] lazylion_ca@lemmy.ca 6 points 9 months ago

Appreciate the recommendation.

[–] BreadstickNinja@lemmy.world 43 points 9 months ago (4 children)

Cheesy Gordita Crunch and Crunchwrap Supreme.

I'm also a fan of the Beefy Five-Layer Burrito positively smothered in Fire sauce.

[–] 0110010001100010@lemmy.world 9 points 9 months ago (3 children)

I’m also a fan of the Beefy Five-Layer Burrito positively smothered in Fire sauce.

I don't know if it's everywhere, but the Diablo sauce has a better flavor in my opinion. I am a sucker for the Beefy Five-Layer Burrito though.

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[–] LordTrychon@startrek.website 6 points 9 months ago

Cheesy Gordita Crunch is the correct answer, but probably best to also try basic items just for comparison.

I remember the dark days when the Cheesy Gordita Crunch was a limited time offer and it kept going away and coming back. I would always go A LOT when it showed back up. So glad it seems to be a stable staple now.

Oh! And fwiw - they actually sell the Fiesta sauce in some grocery stores now... that is one of the key ingredients that makes it so good. That sauce goes well on/in so many things.

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[–] Fondots@lemmy.world 43 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Probably 90% of their food is the same stuff wrapped up in a different shape, they're spooning the same meat into the tacos as the burritos as the crunch wrap etc.

So if your goal is to get a full sense of what taco bell has to offer, get a hard taco, a soft taco, a Doritos taco, and a chalupa, mix and match the meats, sauces, and other toppings, and you'll have a pretty representative sample of most of the menu.

As far as personal recommendations, I like steak chalupas, chicken crunchwraps with chipotle sauce, any variety of their grilled burrito, and their cinnamon twists. Sometimes they have a limited time specialty item that's pretty good, not sure what they're pushing now but always worth checking out what they have.

I will also say that if you don't get a Baja blast you're doing it wrong

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[–] VioletRing@kbin.social 20 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Spicy potato soft taco. Small item overshadowed by others, but a solid go to when you want something small. Potatoes, spicy ranch and lettuce in a soft tortilla. Nothing fancy, just tasty.

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[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 18 points 9 months ago

Dunno fam. You might be too old to start eating taco bell. U might die.

[–] DigitalTraveler42@lemmy.world 15 points 9 months ago

First step of being new to Taco Bell:

My favorite thing is the Chicken Baja Gordita, it's an older menu item that they will still make, love the baja sauce.

[–] sanguine_artichoke@midwest.social 12 points 9 months ago (6 children)

Taco Bell is a unique style of crap that's pretty good. I'd go for the classics: a beef taco and a bean burrito. Maybe a bowl of pinto beans. Everything needs to be covered in the packets of hot sauce. The hot and fire are the only good ones (I'm going by memories from the 90s btw).

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[–] Bakachu@lemmy.world 10 points 9 months ago

Mexican pizza before they take it off the menu again. Also, ask for all of the hot sauces. The workers won't care.

[–] slingstone@lemmy.world 9 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Their breakfast burritos are good, cheap, and a great value for your money. Use their app, and you can get free stuff regularly, too.

EDIT: I'm talking about their lowest tier breakfast burritos. The higher levels are not worth it.

[–] Adulated_Aspersion@lemmy.world 9 points 9 months ago

BRING BACK THE DAMNED FIESTA VEGGIE BURRITO, TACO BELL. YOU HAVE THE INGREDIENTS.

[–] badbytes@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago

You need to build up tolerance first. Go slow with a simple taco, otherwise you digestion gonna do civil war.

[–] IgnatiusJReilly@lemmy.wtf 8 points 9 months ago
[–] ryathal@sh.itjust.works 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Any burrito that contains fritos or potatoes is a good choice.

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[–] profdc9@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago

THEY DISCONTINUED MY FAVORITE ITEM: THE 7 LAYER BURRITO. BRING IT BACK TACO BELL, YOU HEAR?

[–] ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

I tried it for the first time a few months ago and it just tasted like a cheap supermarket taco kit. I'm in no rush to go back.

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[–] BassTurd@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago

I personally love the tacos because they are cheap tacos. There is a lot of flavor, but it's simple. I'm also a fan of the crunchwrap supreme. The crunch paired with the soft outside it delightful. I always order the 12 pack, all soft shell, and a crunchwrap. I used to get two steak quesoritos instead of the crunchwrap, but I think they're gone, or they're too expensive. Diablo sauce isn't tasty, avoid it even if you like spicy. The fire is the best balance imo, but I would like more heat personally.

[–] IMongoose@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

What did you get and how was it?

[–] lazylion_ca@lemmy.ca 6 points 9 months ago

Tried the chicken chalupa and fries. Not bad.

[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

what should I try

The restaurant next door.

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[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 6 points 9 months ago

I didn't realize lemmy was popular enough to bother advertising on yet.

[–] ZeroCool@slrpnk.net 5 points 9 months ago

I'm partial to the beefy 5 layer burrito and the cheesy bean and rice burrito.

[–] Mango@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago (4 children)

First try the toilet paper.

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[–] blargerer@kbin.social 5 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Taco bells menu is like 10 different ingredients combined in various ways, it nearly all tastes identical with the exception of the various protein options (I suggest vegetarian).

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[–] monsterlynn@kbin.social 5 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

@lazylion_ca it's a fast food version of Mexican.

I like crunchy tacos with one packet of hot sauce per taco. Crunchy taco supreme is good. Burrito Supreme is good, too.

Sauce is very important, though. You have to have it. Start with the hot sauce (orange packets), and work your way up if you need to. They used to have green sauce that was pretty good, but it's only available in grocery stores now. 🙄

For a drink, you need to try a Baja Blast. It's like their signature thing. Very sweet, has its own flavor you can't really describe.

Just keep in mind that it's fast food. It's not casual fast like Chipotle or Panera - - more Macdonald's or Wendy's.

One thing Taco Bell has had over a lot of fast food places for a long time is that vegetarians and vegans can actually get edible meals there. It's basically all of the same ingredients, just mixed around differently.

They also have bowls you can get. They're not terrible. I prefer my old standard menu items that haven't changed in 40 years, though.

The other thing that just occurred to me - - most of us in the thread responding to you are suggesting their old timey comfort favorites. I'm no different (54 years old and had my first Taco Bell when I was 9), so at 50, your palate may not understand or have the associations with this place that ours do.

I'm really curious what you're going to think about it, though. I think most people going in with realistic expectations don't wind up hating it, though.

[–] coffee_poops@sh.itjust.works 5 points 9 months ago

Quesadilla with extra creamy jalapeno sauce.

[–] tiredofsametab@kbin.social 4 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

Try to prepare for disappointment. I was never a huge fan, but would have it occasionally. Had it for the first time in a decade or so a few years ago and didn't enjoy any part of the meal (various different stuff at an office party) :P

If you enjoy it, that's wonderful; it's just never really been a thing I look forward to, and I hope you don't have too good an image in your head.

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