“I don’t mean to victim blame, but I try not to look like I’m worth mugging.”

don't. make a "oh poor guy" face and move on. he wants you to engage, to be angry, if you don't he will be mad

A lot of replies here still wander into sounding mad imo Instead, I would fake not getting the insult and just make them uncomfortable by saying something like "Wow that's cool :D" and then just move on. Sort of like when you acknowledge a child doing something dumb but they're so proud of it you don't want to ruin it for them.

My car was a present, any watch costs more than my car

"Does it keep better time than my 15 dollar digital Casio? Is it sturdier? Will it last longer? Is it more comfortable? No? So you spent a ridiculous amount of money to buy a less functional watch made out of precious essential materials just to try to impress people like me?"

Honestly though, if you want to piss watch people off, just say "Oh, it looks just like a regular watch, thanks for pointing it out".

I can afford not to have a watch.

What is it for?

"What's your point?"

Fool and his money.

"Was it meant to make you happier? I'm not sure it worked."

Quite a low bar considering that I don't need a car of my own.

steals his watch

Your pathetic status symbols only show how anxious and insecure you are.

Will your regular charge you half price when she doesn't see you wearing it?

"and i have a piece of cardboard thats worth more than your watch" whips out a charizard

When I was at school, the kids would say, "my dad's shed is bigger than your dad's shed". But that was a long time ago, and we each had a child's view of the world. Most of us grew up.

• Your clock stopped. (Looks at the clock)
• No it's still working.
• You are bald on tip of your head I saw it when you were looking at the clock.

That's not a very high bar, boomer.

"You got it wrong, expensive watches dont go faster"

"You got ripped off"

"Oh, well this gun costs less than your watch, and yet: hand it over."

That's cool, but MY watch has a Tomagachi living in it.

'I can think of many better uses for the metals in that watch.'

Smile and say "it's very pretty".

this movie, glengarry glen ross, was so fucking good. definitely worth a watch if you enjoy watching masterpiece acting. kevin spacey is in it though (his acting is great he just sucks as a person)

So being rich is a fairly new thing to you? What are you gonna do when you get used to it?

I couldn't care less.

Bragging is lower-class behavior

Ok, and what's your question?

You still use a watch?

That watch salesman really ripped you off then.

"What a horrible financial decision"

neat

"Oh, you could only afford one watch?"

"Okay and does it tell the time?"