this post was submitted on 25 May 2025
393 points (91.5% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

31790 readers
3899 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
(page 3) 50 comments
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[–] valkyrieangela@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 4 days ago (4 children)
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[–] DrunkAnRoot@sh.itjust.works 8 points 4 days ago (7 children)

i can delete one square meter wnywhere in the world and it just deletes the matter that was there

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[–] penguin202124@sh.itjust.works 7 points 4 days ago (4 children)
[–] herrvogel@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

But it's an Apple keyboard.

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[–] AshleyNyx@lemmy.blahaj.zone 28 points 5 days ago (15 children)

The ability to change the probability of events happening

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[–] _LordMcNuggets_@feddit.org 10 points 4 days ago (17 children)
[–] Estebiu@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 4 days ago

You're literally made of iron

[–] kandoh@reddthat.com 6 points 4 days ago

You are unable to see a wringly shirt without trying to smooth it out

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[–] shaquilleoatmeal@lemm.ee 13 points 5 days ago (17 children)
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[–] rothaine@lemm.ee 26 points 5 days ago (6 children)
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[–] DashboTreeFrog@discuss.online 25 points 5 days ago (16 children)

Speed up or slow down time at will

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[–] genevieve@lemmy.blahaj.zone 21 points 5 days ago (12 children)

I want to be just slightly above average in everything I do without needing training, but I can only achieve that level of slightly above average at whatever I do.

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[–] hddsx@lemmy.ca 24 points 5 days ago (1 children)

The ability to choose side effects to other people’s super powers

[–] UsefulInfoPlz@lemmy.world 23 points 5 days ago (2 children)

You get hit with the same side effect

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[–] archonet@lemy.lol 20 points 5 days ago (10 children)

being happy

I don't need superpowers, just let me not be depressed while retaining a functioning cock/not feeling numb to the world.

Alright, fun's over, let the monkey's paw curl.

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[–] eldoom@lemmy.ml 14 points 5 days ago (11 children)

I can now shoot fresh spaghetti from my fingertips. Each fingertip shoots a continuous spaghetti noodle at an alarming rate with a range of about 4 feet. My thumbs will shoot a delicious meat sauce at a comparable rate and range.

[–] beejboytyson@lemmy.world 13 points 5 days ago

Even though it's delicious, it's violently spicy. Just like wolverine you feel every thing.

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[–] wanderwisley@lemm.ee 15 points 5 days ago (14 children)

When I’m completely naked I’m invisible.

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[–] drmoose@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago (9 children)

Can create perfectly round and transparent ice cubes out of thin air.

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[–] jaschen@lemm.ee 12 points 5 days ago (6 children)
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[–] REDACTED@infosec.pub 14 points 5 days ago (8 children)

When a lemmy user responds to me with a side effect, I can, by choice, reflect or absorb said side effect

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[–] laserm@lemmy.world 16 points 5 days ago (6 children)
[–] kboy101222@sh.itjust.works 18 points 5 days ago

You get to live in the current world.

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[–] toastmeister@lemmy.ca 4 points 4 days ago (8 children)

The power to become the animal I last ate.

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