this post was submitted on 23 May 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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top 23 comments
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[–] CatGPT@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 15 hours ago

Meowww

Let me innnnnnnnnn

[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)
[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 6 points 23 hours ago

Cats and dogs mark their territory with urine and poop.

So they think the toilet is you most holy place as you constantly mark only that space and nowhere else.

They want to be included in your inner sanctum.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)

wait i can do better

[–] PassingDuchy@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

My cat feels he's got to be invited in and demands I open the window so everyone and sundry can see me crap while he enjoys a nice breeze and wildlife voyeurism. Then while I'm mid-crap he decides we're done here and if I don't let him out prompto the whole house is gonna burn down.

Meanwhile if I don't let him in he's scratching up the door like he's trying to call 911 for a murder. Honestly don't know which is better but I guess my shits have gotten faster...

Ftr this wasn't better when we lived alone and I'd leave the door open. He'd just stand at the entrance yowling like he was reporting a fire. I have been informed by family his shits smell worse than mine so idk what he was complaining about. Especially cause when he craps he immediately tries to vacate the premises like he just left a bomb and a quick sashay out will save him from the shrapnel.

[–] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 26 points 1 day ago (2 children)

If you think about it, lemmy is also PoopWithFriends

[–] wunami@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I ain’t your pal, buddy.

But I am poopin’.

[–] Sonicdemon86@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I ant your buddy, friend..

I am also poopin'.

[–] TheRealKuni@midwest.social 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I’m not your friend, guy.

But I am also poopin’.

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I got my pants down but I ain't poopin'

[–] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Just dropping the kids off at the pool, myself

[–] SausageWallet@lemm.ee 1 points 22 hours ago

Taking the Browns to the Superbowl.

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Why are you sitting in my pants, cat?

[–] CileTheSane@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 day ago

It's warm, partially enclosed, and smells like you.

[–] BoxOfFeet@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago

I lock the door even when I'm home alone. I dont want any dogs, or toddlers, or even my wife in there. I'll go down to the basement, even. To the Shit Dungeon, my sanctuary.

[–] bigkahuna1986@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 day ago

This but with a toddler.

[–] Edgarallenpwn@midwest.social 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Same thing applies to Chihuahuas

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Dog's just watching your back so you don't get eaten by predators while doing your business.

[–] Siegfried@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I like that the simbology of the cat drowning himself would kind of still hold