You just get better at masking the worst effects.
this post was submitted on 22 May 2025
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"Psychologist" just means they were able to complete a degree program at all, C's get degrees
what they mean by that is, "thank god they learned to mask the problem so they stop inconveniencing us"
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Most people tend to develop coping mechanisms that help them pass as non-ADHD individuals, by lowering their standards for what they can achieve in life and by accepting the abnormally high amounts of stress that hiding their ADHD causes them.
Psychologists call this "growing out of ADHD".
“Gifted child, if only they’d apply themselves”, turns into “Average adult, not always reliable and my god have you seen their <thing we ignore because we don’t have the bandwidth> but usually gets things done.”
Took me getting fired from one job and almost a second before I finally got my coping mechanisms figured out. It's still a struggle and it's also cost me a significant amount of my ability to enjoy my free time (have to severely limit my investment in anything not work related so I don't accidentally get consumed by it and lapse at work), but I'm 'functional' now.
It's still a struggle and it's also cost me a significant amount of my ability to enjoy my free time (have to severely limit my investment in anything not work related so I don't accidentally get consumed by it and lapse at work)
This path leads to burnout. I have no practical advice since we are kind of required to put work first in order to survive. But the fact that it's socially acceptable to call this "living" makes me sick to my stomach.
The problem is that responsibilities seem to grow faster than I can create coping mechanisms...
To be fair, ADHD is a developmental disorder that sometimes can present as delayed development rather than halted development. I.e being behind in executive functioning development but eventually “catching up” to peers.
That said, the severity of cases is still often determined through the lens of “how well do they fit in/mask it” and not “how is their emotional/mental wellbeing”, which definitely gives the impression of kids “growing out of it”.
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I don't think the ADHD necessarily gets worse, it's more often that the consequences get worse.
I.e. the intensity of the disorder relative to a given set of stimuli doesn't increase, but the average significance of the stimuli (and consequently the outcome of one's reaction to them) does increase.
You could argue that's a meaningless distinction, but perhaps it's a helpful change in perspective for someone.
That's a valid point. Although I'd add that, as you get older, it's not only the significance of the stimuli that increases, but the overall levels of stimuli increases. More responsibilities, more burdens, more stress, and less likely to be given any concessions due to being young.
No, it gets worse. Adults don't have the amount of mental plasticity that younger people have. While it's possible to make things easier through CBT and learning to cope and deal with certain challenges. The mental load of keeping up with daily life ultimately has its toll. Life is getting harder every year for everyone, and having ADHD makes that mental load just that much harder.
Yeah. I feel like it never bothered me when younger (he's "gifted and mature") but you get screwed later on when you have a 8-5 office job where you sit and stare for 9 hours. I can't focus on boring useless stuff like that. Unfortunately, the alternative is destroy your body doing manual labor to keep moving around. Plus. You make a lot more money sitting and staring at a screen. So just keep it bottled up and pretend you know what you're doing and don't feel like going nuts!
It can get worse after school because not having a schedule imposed on you means you're left to your own devices and will often focus too much energy towards the wrong endeavors. Building a routine of healthy habits and sticking to it can make a world of difference.
Of course it got worse, I have to work now
Hmm I'm sure it's personal for each but me I feel like I didn't outgrow it. More like I overcame it.
Turns out that people don't "grow out of" physiological differences in how their prefrontal cortex forms. Who would have thought?! /s
I don’t have the ADHD. I am the ADHD.
Made this for ya while procrastinating
We're all reading this while procrastinating
Hey, I don’t actually have any responsibilities right now! Except planning my lessons for next week, but I’ve got time. I guess I could also do the dishes or hang the laundry or email my advisor about my thesis topic…
Well shit.
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The officially changed it in my country to be an syndrome diagnosable in adults as well the very year I turned 18. I'm not saying it HAS to be because of me, but yeah.
Doctor leaves appointment with Droggelbecher
"Get the Chancellor on the phone immediately."
You want me to pay bills? On time? Best I can do is rack up late fees.
Set auto payments for all the things!
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Well, there is partial truth to this. Diagnosing especially preteens with mental health conditions almost always needs an asterisk, their brains are still heavily developing.
Remember that we know of no reliable genetic / physiological markers for ADHD, so when doctors diagnose it, they're really just saying that the amount of symptoms seems to be severe enough. Some kids are just naturally more energetic, intelligent, etc. and may appear like they have ADHD, but when they develop into adults that might not actually be the case.
If anything, it's more like 1/3 of kids were misdiagnosed as having ADHD, so they "grew" out of it because they didn't really have it. It's a lot less likely for an adult to be misdiagnosed because their brains aren't changing.
Great reminders about the lack of physiological markers. The (or one?) elephant in the room, to me - I'd phrase it as - to what degree a kid's just naturally well- or poorly-suited to the public school environment itself.
A child that finds it difficult to sit in one place and listen to words about abstract material for hours every day...I mean does that sound divergent in any way?
One of the fundamental markers of childhood in my experience is a certain...animation, just this almost irresistible urge to move around, negotiate whatever activity is occurring and in what way, with whoever is nearby...switching activities and modes of play fluidly. Seems like the most normal shit ever to me lol.
I do recognize we need a standardized way to educate our kids in a modern society, but as we learn more about young brains, we gotta start developing a more diverse way to accomplish the learning and development of self-discipline. The one-size-fits-all approach just obviously leaves many underserved, and worse, leaves them internalizing a lot of frustration with self, not to mention taking all kinds of drugs to "treat those symptoms".
Man it got worse in ways i didn't think possible.
So convinced i understood myself and i actually masterminded my soul into stagnation...
..but a hand come out of the mud
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