Most people tend to develop coping mechanisms that help them pass as non-ADHD individuals, by lowering their standards for what they can achieve in life and by accepting the abnormally high amounts of stress that hiding their ADHD causes them.

Psychologists call this "growing out of ADHD".

[–] CompactFlax@discuss.tchncs.de 72 points 1 day ago (1 children)

“Gifted child, if only they’d apply themselves”, turns into “Average adult, not always reliable and my god have you seen their <thing we ignore because we don’t have the bandwidth> but usually gets things done.”

[–] ulterno@programming.dev 1 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

Well, guess they need to be diagnosed for LBD (Low Bandwidth Disorder).

And then start berating everyone who doesn't care about the small stuff, instead of letting them say that we are "overreacting", just because we realise that, under different conditions, ignoring some of that stuff could cause bigger problems.

[–] greenskye@lemm.ee 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Took me getting fired from one job and almost a second before I finally got my coping mechanisms figured out. It's still a struggle and it's also cost me a significant amount of my ability to enjoy my free time (have to severely limit my investment in anything not work related so I don't accidentally get consumed by it and lapse at work), but I'm 'functional' now.

[–] MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net 5 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

It's still a struggle and it's also cost me a significant amount of my ability to enjoy my free time (have to severely limit my investment in anything not work related so I don't accidentally get consumed by it and lapse at work)

This path leads to burnout. I have no practical advice since we are kind of required to put work first in order to survive. But the fact that it's socially acceptable to call this "living" makes me sick to my stomach.

[–] HellsBelle@sh.itjust.works 2 points 5 hours ago

Yup. Currently on my 4th burnout that's lasted 3 yrs and counting (previous 3 were 1 yr each).

I just don't have it in me to buck up and try to work again. :/

[–] ByteJunk@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The problem is that responsibilities seem to grow faster than I can create coping mechanisms...

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 2 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

You've got "management" written all over you. I hope you like meetings!

[–] ByteJunk@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago

Heading for the top, that's me. Of an office building or psychiatric ward, remains to be seen.

[–] rhombus@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

To be fair, ADHD is a developmental disorder that sometimes can present as delayed development rather than halted development. I.e being behind in executive functioning development but eventually “catching up” to peers.

That said, the severity of cases is still often determined through the lens of “how well do they fit in/mask it” and not “how is their emotional/mental wellbeing”, which definitely gives the impression of kids “growing out of it”.

[–] ulterno@programming.dev 0 points 4 hours ago

Well, minds are difficult, patterns are easy.
Not all doctors are going to do it the hard way, same as not all people (encompassing all professions) do it the hard way.

[–] scrion@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

They don't necessarily lower their standards. Sometimes, they simply "pay" by other means.