this post was submitted on 19 May 2025
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chapotraphouse

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[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 90 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I straight-up do not believe this, he's that much of an attention seeking freak

[–] Beaver@hexbear.net 48 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I hope he gets harassed about it constantly. "When are you gonna drop dead dude? You said you were gonna get dead months ago. You wouldn't have lied about it, would you?"

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago

nah fuck him, I hope people ignore this shit

[–] Redcuban1959@hexbear.net 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)

He's going to say he was cured by God or some right-wing magic cult he believes in

[–] Speaker@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago

He's gonna say he erotically hypnotized it into submission.

[–] kristina@hexbear.net 51 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Can we invent a cancer that only hurts terrible people

[–] catonkatonk@hexbear.net 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Are we sure it isn't the based Havana Syndrome Ass Cancer Ray at work already

[–] HarryLime@hexbear.net 45 points 1 month ago
[–] JohnBrownsDream@hexbear.net 44 points 1 month ago (3 children)

https://xcancel.com/CitizenFreePres/status/1924477866915315722

People recommending Ivermectin as a cancer treatment in earnest in the comments. Beyond parody.

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 18 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

~~Put a pinch between your cheek and gum.~~

Put a pinch between your cheek and prostate.

[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 4 points 1 month ago

Ivermectin cures all!

[–] Xenomorph@hexbear.net 38 points 1 month ago

Damn, a two for one cancer deal on ghouls?!

[–] culpritus@hexbear.net 23 points 1 month ago (3 children)

do-something

Cmon prostate cancer, do a trifecta with Trump too

[–] Asafum@feddit.nl 25 points 1 month ago

Knowing our luck it will be more like "Trump was bitten by a Chihuahua on Sunday afternoon, taking the attack personally he declared all Mexican citizens to be enemy combatants to be deported immediately.

On medical examination of the wound the Chihuahua bite appears to have extended Trump's lifespan by at least another 12 decades. Scientists would be confused by this, but the Trump administration already executed all of them."

[–] TraschcanOfIdeology@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago

All the experimental medicine they pump us presidents to keep them alive will keep him going like the emperor in Warhammer. Covid couldn't take down such am unhealthy person, I doubt cancer will.

[–] Sphere@hexbear.net 22 points 1 month ago

Lol.

Lmao, even

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 19 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Of course - this could be bullshit. The Daily Mail was the only site with an article.

I edited it a tiny bit for clarlity.

Dilbert creator Scott Adams has revealed that he is suffering from the same aggressive form of prostate cancer as Joe Biden. Adams announced the shock diagnosis in a Rumble stream on Monday that, like Biden, he has prostate cancer "that has also spread to my bones." The comic strip icon heartbreakingly revealed that doctors have told him he does not have long to live, and he "expects to be checking out sometime this summer."

Adams had kept his cancer battle quiet, and although he did not say when he was diagnosed with the disease, he said he has "had it longer than (Biden) has had it. Well, longer than he's admitted to having it."

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 32 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I have cancer too, worse cancer and for longer!

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 24 points 1 month ago

It could be some kind of scam. A month or so from now he could say "I cured myself of my fatal cancer with DilbertMeds™. And here's how you can buy them..."

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I do like "checking out" as a euphemism for dying, gonna start using that one

[–] PTSDwarrior@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 month ago

I like to say people who are dying are “on their way out”.

[–] thelastaxolotl@hexbear.net 18 points 1 month ago

crab-party crab-party crab-party

Lets goo comrade JDPONCancer strikes again

[–] WorriedComrade@hexbear.net 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It’s like death note but someone is giving people prostate cancer

[–] userofnames@hexbear.net 16 points 1 month ago

maybe he can hypnotise the cancer away

[–] FnordPrefect@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago

Y'know, sometimes I really resent the planet being turned into a toxic hellscape with all aspects becoming inimical to life as we know it. Recently though...shrug-outta-hecks

[–] semioticbreakdown@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago

ate too many dilberitos

[–] ElChapoDeChapo@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago

2 cakes? Alright, not what I was expecting but I'll take it

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago

lmao die binch

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago

Lmao. Either way, lmao. If he's dying, lmao. If he's lying, lmao.

[–] RION@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago

It's like poetry, it rhymes

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago

I made a mistake - I should have posted this in c/gossip.

[–] homhom9000@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago

Then hurry up and die then

[–] RNAi@hexbear.net 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"Yo hago puchero, ella hace puchero"

[–] Torenico@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago

‼️‼️HOLY FUCKING SHIT‼️‼️‼️‼️ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING ESPERANDO LA CARROZA REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1!

[–] RedWizard@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago
[–] Coolkidbozzy@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago

chinese ass cancer gun W

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago
[–] ClassIsOver@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago

Hopefully it's in his Dilbert-shaped pool. It's not like the next owners aren't going to fill it in anyway.