Forgot a requirement: must be willing to RTFM. Other than that, it's still way less requirements.
this post was submitted on 03 May 2025
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MODERATORS
Full Linux system requirements:
- Electricity: optional
- Processor: Ideal
- Blahaj: full sized ideal (smallhaj is ok)
- Socks: thigh highs
- Skirt: spinny
- Breast Mints (good girl juice): self explanatory
- Additional requirements: :3
I don't know what half those things are but I laughed at the words "Breast Mints". No idea what it means.
Like titty skittles but minty
Basically Fem&ms
How can you run Linux without electricity?
A, e: very, large number of crabs
Potatoes.
Lots of potatoes.
the computer isnβt in the electricityβ¦
linux requirements: thigh highs and a tiny blue pill
But the tiny blue pill is so hard to get!
Do you know easy methods to get it?
Grey market or dark net markets.
I make my own out of gasoline and frozen orange juice concentrate
I can make a few, using a chalk-piece and a bottle of blue ink
Even this potato with 512MB of RAM runs a bunch of linux web services without issue.
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Has anyone tried getting linux to run on a mechanical computer?
"I can't handle typing like this anymore" and "I like pickles" are two sentences I could make out of the blurry text
Came here for this. Pickles are like a researcher's??? Progeny? A researcher's what? I must know.
Also something about Harry Potter in the first lines.
Edit. It's grumpy! But I don't know what!
It repeats. The same "have you ever read Harry Potter" is three lines from the bottom too.
It looks like it repeats every ~5.5 lines if you track the "OK, I can't handle typing like this anymore." which is easier to spot with the capital "OK".
electricity (optional)
I don't think that anyone's yet booted a Linux kernel on a purely-mechanical computer yet.
If you make a redstone PC and don't consider the requirements to run Minecraft... Probably (in-world it wouldn't be using electricity)
Technically possible. How large would such a machine be though...
Since you need 16 billion crabs to run Doom, I suspect easier than you think
OK now we need to run the math, how many crabs to boot a Linux terminal
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Ok just wait us Microsoft execs are going to pressure Trump to keep increasing tariffs on the penguins and when all of a sudden they need new suits for all the tween penguins ready to shed their adolescent coat we will see who comes out on top.
This is how you do business, penguins don't know how to do business and we won't let them have our AI so they can figure out how to either.
Trump tariffed penguins because he didn't understand what Microsoft was talking about.
He probably heard the name McDonald Island, assumed that Ronald McDonald lives there, and chose to tariff the island so Ronald will give him special access to unlimited McDoubles for free.
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Saying penguins don't know how to do business when all of them are wearing business suits 24/7 is a bold statement.
They even live on the continent with the least amount of debt and bankruptcies!
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The hard drive and monitor are broken, the fans are busted from experimentation with Half Life 2, but there will still always be
nethack
and
fortune | cowsay
Anyone have Linux recommendations for x86 machines?
EDIT: Desktop editions of Linux.
...all of them, i think
Not all of them. Arch stopped supporting x86, you need to get a forked branch of it that isn't officially supported. Ran into others that also didn't have x86 support anymore either. Initially thought Linux Mint was in the same boat, but I just found out that they have a Debian version that has a 32 bit version. All of the downloads for Ubuntu Desktop however are only showing 64 bit editions.
I guess I can narrow it down further. Editing my comment.
I installed MX Linux on my 32bit system with low specs and it runs fine
I'll check this out and for my next laptop revitalization, I'll install it. Thank you!
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