this post was submitted on 03 May 2025
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Ok just wait us Microsoft execs are going to pressure Trump to keep increasing tariffs on the penguins and when all of a sudden they need new suits for all the tween penguins ready to shed their adolescent coat we will see who comes out on top.
This is how you do business, penguins don't know how to do business and we won't let them have our AI so they can figure out how to either.
Trump tariffed penguins because he didn't understand what Microsoft was talking about.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/apr/03/donald-trump-tariffs-antarctica-uninhabited-heard-mcdonald-islands
He probably heard the name McDonald Island, assumed that Ronald McDonald lives there, and chose to tariff the island so Ronald will give him special access to unlimited McDoubles for free.
No, this is our plan?
Here at Microsoft's upper management we pride ourselves in expecting nothing but par excellence from one another when it comes to embodying the aesthetics of competence but we are just as gullible and lost in our own bullshit as Trump we just take the danger of the general public realizing this very serious which is why we are going to show the world we aren't kidding about getting these economically inefficient birds back into line by putting them into crushing debt.
In a head on match up, Windows always out perform birds, that is just the fiscal reality and it is only one of the reasons why we are a Fortune 5000 Golden Donald Edition Company!
edit you want proof? Why would hamas supporting Bird Fundamentalists a.k.a. "The Audobon Society" put out anti-Windows propaganda like this?
https://www.audubon.org/news/reducing-collisions-glass
what shameful slander
The radical fake green energy movement's Windmills are the real enemies, Windows is completely harmless.
hahaha ooops did we let it slip we are gleefully profiting from genocide and are desperate to get in on the ground floor of using the veneer of tech hype to run cover for a genocide in any way we can?...yeah for some reason we can't help but tell on ourselves oh well... as a rule nobody gets as rich as I am if they actually care about the consequences of their actions!
Saying penguins don't know how to do business when all of them are wearing business suits 24/7 is a bold statement.
They even live on the continent with the least amount of debt and bankruptcies!
I genuinely, no sarcasm, feel that this was an excellent addition to the thread. You got a guffaw out of me with the first sentence.
Penguins are LITERALLY always flippant, they can't be serious enough for a high powered surfboard room environments with extremely fancy custom keurig machines, besides we are Microsoft upper management....
a rare photo of a young adult Steve Ballmer, lucky someone through him back in the ocean... unless you are a penguin