I wonder if this was what the tower of babel was like
this post was submitted on 04 Apr 2025
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chapotraphouse
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This is straight freebasing idealism. Zero material concern of things like “do we have the climate and soil capable of growing this plant” no, we can completely ignore biological reality if we just bootstrap the can-do entrepreneurial drive hard enough.
never tell the mayos about real tangible things that exist
they'll get it into their head to burn even more fossil fuels until you can grow coconuts in montana
what if i put a greenhouse next to a datacenter
probably have to do with the fact that advance economy is so alien to actual manufacturing that they can just pitch stupid shit à la McKinsey and see that sticks
Spend long enough around agriculture and they will learn that this is much harder and frustrating than what those nice backyard growing youtubers will have you think it is.
Besides feeding a family is different than large scale agriculture.
there was a Juicero-tier startup that was going to grow plants inside some kind of computer climate controlled box
trying to remember/find the article
Tech bros reinventing the green house
Compared to their actual product, which was a machine that squeezed a bag, it is pretty impressive.
Box with lightbulb is a lot less impressive TBH, at least juicero had moving parts and shit, even if it was ludicrously overengineered
Oh it was like a fridge where you grow herbs under red light.
Our Will will Triumph over the material conditions and we shall have our pumpkin spiced lattes!
Besides ignoring that retooling agricultural production is difficult. Like it took a lot of effort for cash crops to be faced out in post revolutionary states.
-i need 1283 tonnes of vanilla
-hey i like producing 1283 tonnes of vanilla and helping people who need them, take these
-thx
Commies 🤝 Keynesians
Cursed with the understanding of logistics and supply lines
Also basic geography. Maybe something that is produced on a tropical island will be hard to grow in the US. Unfortunately most people can't point Madagascar on the map.
point Madagascar on the map
Trick question, it's not on a map cause it's a movie, and I know where to find penguins. Vanilla is an ice cream and ice cream is what the South pole, where penguins are found, is made of, hence, just harvest the South pole ice cream. Yes it might contribute to global ice creaming but there's like two whole poles of ice cream.
this is fine. we will just make everything out of corn and soybeans using industrial processes to synthesize every flavor profile we love.
some might say, "if that were even remotely possible, Archer Daniels Midland would have figured it out already."
those people are cowards.
get ready for Avacorndo™, Soyanilla™, Soyaffron™, and Tumericorn™, the greatest and most patriotic flavors a human endocrine system has ever processed.
Protectionism with Krushchevite Soyboy characteristics
This is certainly one of the sentences of all time
Real cyberpunk hours
Unemployment? I won't care because I'll be raking it in with my vanilla plantation located in the Madagascar-like climate of (checks notes) central Ohio in (checks notes again) 3-5 years when the plants mature.
Shhh... don't dreamshame their cottagecore fantasy
Hand pollinating a bunch of flowers sounds a lot nicer than my current job, I'll give 'em that.
no (insert item here)? just make them. Where did we heard this in the past?
This is as stupid as people proposing to do agriculture in their backyard to escape capitalism. No, you are not becoming Mennonites, you are getting Jonestown in less than 2 weeks
> Start planting Vanilla beans on the backyard
> Lost house to the HOA
Well if one had collectivized agriculture then you could have grown vanilla in Florida or Mississippi.
2 states that will sink into the ocean in 20 year. Collectivization is stupid when you still have the omnipotent market dynamics flooding on top of you and no trained labour to be colletivized
Mississippi wont fall into the ocean lol. Sea level rise doesn’t go that fast. Besides you need like 40m of sea level rise to completely erase Florida and that takes thousands of years for that antarctic ice to melt.
Oh cool, we're getting the fascist version of the Great Leap Forward except it's for treats instead of steel.
DIY funkopop plastic molds in everyone's backyard
I don't feel bad
I know that generations of wealthy jerks wanting to maintain their positions did this
This fills me with a righteous fury and spiteful obstinance
I will claw my way out of the morass
I will bring all who I can with me, even if they're kicking and screaming the entire time
See if america was actually a normal state, they would just trade with Mexico since the vanilla plant is native there instead of its 
s attempting to leap forward
It's okay everyone, we got the top facebook mom on the case and she's figured out agriculture.
amerikkkan juche
This reminds me of a discussion I once saw on Reddit where someone gave a very poor explanation of how a completely decentralized economy might work.
There has never been a better opportunity to get in on slop content futures!
So I'm assuming they mean kilo = kilogram, so a single Starbucks would be using roughly 0.0175 gram of pure vanilla a day.
The internet is telling me this equals about 0.00004 pound (3.86*10^-5).
Anyone a vanilla expert and can tell me how much syrup they make out of that amount of vanilla?
I'm no expert but a single bean that's already been scraped of seeds can flavour about 5 kilos of sugar by just leaving it in the box for a day or two. I imagine they use a mix of real vanilla extract and synthetic vanillin to save money though.
Oh yea that's helpful.
Vanilla beanis weighs 3-6 gram, I'm gonna go with 3 gram.
3 gram vanilla -> 5 kilogram flavoured sugar
0.0175 gram vanilla -> 30 gram flavoured sugar (I'm rounding this a little much maybe but I'm too lazy)
I'll assume syrup will be something like 2 parts sugar to 1 part water - but I dont really know, probably less water.
So I get about 45 gram syrup, or 1.6 ounces. So I got 10 teaspoons of vanilla syrup for one Starbucks for a whole day, don't use it all at once.