this post was submitted on 15 Mar 2025
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If we MUST eat a entire bag of Oreos.

Which scenario is better?

  • Eat the entire bag in 30 minutes
  • Eat the bag slowly, and evenly throughout a day?

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[–] booly@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 minutes ago

I love that the question doesn't specify what "better" means, and we're all interpreting it in our own ways. Healthier? More enjoyable?

[–] eatham@aussie.zone 2 points 1 hour ago

Eat them all at once

I’d probably barf if I ate the whole pack in one sitting. Or at least feel like I would.

[–] Solocore@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago

Probably across the course of the day parts maybe faster than others

[–] olafurp@lemmy.world 25 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Eating sugary stuff that sticks in your teeth continuously throughout the day is the worst possible you can do for the teeth.

Binge eating sweets is pretty bad for blood sugar.

So to balance it out eat a third after every meal for max health and enjoyment.

[–] Landless2029@lemmy.world 10 points 4 hours ago

So do a line after you dine?

[–] renrenPDX@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

It depends on what you want your poop to look like later.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 14 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

oh i don't plan on pooping.

[–] lukstru@lemmy.world 6 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Do you just let it happen when the time comes?

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 4 points 3 hours ago

I miss the spontaneity of my youth.

[–] LittleTarsier@lemmy.ca 23 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (2 children)

As a Canadian, unfortunately the answer is now to not eat them at all because they are an American product. This breaks my heart because I am the type of person that would eat an entire bag throughout the day :(

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 4 points 3 hours ago (3 children)

What about Canadian off-brand? Is that a thing? Like at Canadamart or Tim Horton's or wherever y'all shop?

[–] LittleTarsier@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 hour ago

We have "Eat the Middle First" but they're not that great sadly

[–] Bloomcole@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago

So Canada doesn't have decent cookies either?
I tried them once (in EU) to see what those famous cookies were like and they're crap.
Not even mediocre.

[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

technically it's an off off brand because Oreos themselves are an off brand

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 3 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

True, but Hydrox is also American, so no dice.

[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 hours ago

darn :(, I tried

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[–] BradleyUffner@lemmy.world 68 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

The package is conveniently divided into breakfast, lunch, and dinner rows.

[–] vulgarcynic@sh.itjust.works 14 points 9 hours ago

We call that doing lines around these parts.

[–] Droggelbecher@lemmy.world 7 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

You're eating those as a treat, not for your health. You probably know the negative impact that sugar and trans fats have, so if you're going to treat yourself, I'd say make sure to make it count.

Do you get more overall pleasure from a little bit of enjoyment throughout the day or from a lot of enjoyment for a short amount of time? Maybe half now and half later or tomorrow? That's how I decide how to eat/do stuff that I enjoy but know can negatively impact my health if I over do it.

If you do want to make it less unhealthy though, try to make sure they're not the only thing in your stomach and rinse your mouth after you're done eating them.

[–] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 5 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Eat them right before a big, protein heavy meal. The sugar will stimulate insulin production which will help to process more of the protein. And then have a couple for dessert.

[–] Droggelbecher@lemmy.world 2 points 8 hours ago (2 children)

Huh, is that why I can't seem to find a non sweet protein powder?

[–] nylo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

no that's probably because whey tastes absolutely awful so they try to cover up the flavor.

it's usually a synthetic sweetener and I've found plant based protein powders are usually less guilty of it.

[–] Droggelbecher@lemmy.world 3 points 7 hours ago

I'm vegan anyway, so I go for soy protein! But I'd like an unflavored one to add to my oats and flavour them a different way. First world problem though.

[–] khannie@lemmy.world 3 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

You can buy unflavoured whey concentrate or isolate in bulk for very cheap. I used to use it to make protein pancakes for breakfast all the time.

Nom nom nom.

Edit: I see you're vegan. Not sure I've seen unflavoured vegan ones.

[–] Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 7 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

In a large bowl, combine 750ml of your closest booze and the Oreos. Use a potato masher to create a smooth yet chunky consistency. Best enjoyed naked while binge watching Bojack Horseman.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 3 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

I only had a bottle of Listerine, but two birds, one stone. No need to go brush after now.

[–] Rozz@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 1 hour ago

The mint will compliment it nicely. I love mint Oreos

[–] Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 2 points 4 hours ago

Around here, we just call that "Sunday".

[–] muntedcrocodile@lemm.ee 10 points 12 hours ago (3 children)

U bastard. U just reminded me I have a KitKat to eat. Do I eat the entire thing or spread it over the day?

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago

Is it already in the freezer and ready?

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[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 29 points 16 hours ago (4 children)

Ehhh, I'd say that, on average and for most purposes, spread out is better.

Less of a hit to your system. No big blood sugar spikes, which reduces the worst aspects if swallowing an entire package to the minimum it gets.

That being said, expect digestive issues to linger. You've got a lot of fats, the coloring, and the sugars playing havoc with your guts.

Expect to need a lot of tooth brushing unless you just enjoy having plaque and acid build-up messing with your teeth.

But I'd say that the risks of big spikes in blood sugar are higher than those risks. It could, in the right circumstances, kill you. And the way some of the more recent information regarding the role of sugar in atherosclerosis, and maybe other cardiovascular illness, is looking, every big spike is whittling time off of your heart more than a bunch of little ones will.

[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago

I was thinking the opposite. The first one s a huge sugar hit, and every following one.

  • If you spread it out, your body efficiently digests them to maximize the sugar spikes, to maximize the calories absorbed to turn into fat
  • if you do them all in one sitting, you only get one sugar spike and much of the fat and sugar won’t even be digested
[–] Timecircleline@sh.itjust.works 8 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

One of the first things I did when I first moved out from my parents is eat a whole bag of Oreos for breakfast because I could.

It turns your poop black.

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 4 points 10 hours ago (4 children)

Yup :)

I've had to clean up oreo poop lol.

A lot of older patients tend to get a "sweet tooth", and they'll go nuts on cookies and cakes.

Oreo poops aren't the worst poops, but they look bad and are super sticky.

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[–] gjoel@programming.dev 61 points 19 hours ago (3 children)

A dentist once answered this question. Better to eat it at once than soak your teeth in sugar for the entire day. Even better if you brush your teeth after, of course.

[–] TomAwsm@lemmy.world 27 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Better for your teeth, sure. Nutritionally, I'm pretty sure it's better to spread it out.

[–] Dark_Arc@social.packetloss.gg 9 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

Nutritionally, it's terrible either way.

I think your body would have a better time with it spread out over the course of the entire day. However you're still absorbing an insane amount of sugar in a single day.

There's a chance all at once would result in more of it being pooped out and thus be better ... but it's so close to just eating sugar I expect you'd absorb it and then your body would go into overdrive producing insulin.

Fine every now and then, but regularly it would be insanely bad no matter which way you do it.

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