this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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all 36 comments
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[–] ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca 35 points 2 days ago (2 children)

What if space drugs are like catnip and it gets the aliens high but does nothing for humans?

[–] Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world 15 points 2 days ago (2 children)

There's an 80's movie with a plot like that, the aliens integrate wholly into society and a secret cabal plans to enslave them because laundry soap is like supercrack to them.

[–] Amputret@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 days ago

I’m just thinking of Alien Nation, with organ meat being a favourite of the aliens, and getting drunk on sour milk.

[–] TokenBoomer@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] watson387@sopuli.xyz 2 points 2 days ago

I loved those movies and the show when I was a kid. They got drunk drinking curdled milk.

[–] cm0002@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

But catnip does have some effect, just none of the downsides of a full drug

What if space drugs are all the fun and none of the bad for humans?

[–] OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world 26 points 2 days ago (3 children)
[–] don@lemm.ee 12 points 2 days ago (1 children)

“Yeah, but you guys can’t access dimension 6-9 simultaneously like we can, so it effectively doesn’t exist for you. Sorry, bud. If your own species’ genitalia are insufficient for copulation, have you considered those of your… (checks info-shard) sheep? They seem to be rather accommodating.”

[–] OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

"Aye laddae dae doan caul meh Queue-manderrrrr (roll the r) MacLambshags ferrr nuh'in!"

[–] FirstWizardZorander@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

Boy what a rabbit hole I just went down

[–] Naz@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

This already happened.

There's a story about a scout ship that landed in the Western Hemisphere of Sol 3, and they decided to talk with the locals.

They offered them anything they wanted from the unitary matter replicator, as a show of good faith.

Unfortunately the counselors had absolutely no idea what a "pothead" or "stoner" was and so the two humans left after each synthesizing a bushel (a long branch around 2 meters tall) of a cannabinoid dense Terran plant.

They lodged their reports that the species on Sol 3 wasn't intelligent enough to understand technology given they requested herbs/plants from a machine that could produce literally any compound known to nature, including cures for many diseases afflicting their world.

The subchapter text was based on the vocalizations of the pair, who said: "Ayyy" followed by "Lah-Mao".

:vivid shrug:

[–] webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Whats your reference material? It appears interesting.

[–] Naz@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Haha, nice try, there is no reference material

Sol 3 doesn't exist c:

[–] Landless2029@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

For some reason I thought you'd end with the two terrans being Cheech and Chong.

[–] OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

Source: Sometime I jus' be sayin' ish fr

[–] kindenough@kbin.earth 13 points 2 days ago

Aliens: "shit out of luck...now take me to your dealer!"

[–] db2@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago
[–] PoopSpiderman@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

ESPECIALLY space heroin…

[–] alaphic@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Ah, I knew I'd find someone with real class in here somewhere

[–] psx_crab@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 days ago

You bet some scientist first question would be "How do you all fuck?" and that would be a legit question.

[–] JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Turns out everything humans need to live on is like hard spice for every other species

[–] cm0002@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (2 children)

US gov 15 minutes later: "So anyways we're going to fund NASA with 3 trillion dollars, because....sciencey reasons! Absolutely NOT to get rich selling water to aliens at a ridiculous markup"

[–] SolacefromSilence@fedia.io 6 points 2 days ago

Nestle intensifies

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 days ago

Water? I think aliens can find plenty of that anywhere in the galaxy. There are whole clouds of water vapor, as well as asteroids, planets and moons throughout with lots of ice in space that have as much or more water as we do.

Aliens would be looking for exotic things like the proteins and amino acids in our biology .... they'd want to be harvesting us, the animals and plants for specialty parts and building blocks.

[–] altima_neo@lemmy.zip 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You want to go home and rethink your life

[–] cm0002@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

after you get the space drugs

[–] metaStatic@kbin.earth 2 points 2 days ago

you don't want to sell me death sticks

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

If they started raining down as much free insulin and chemotherapy drugs as we asked for, how long would it be before an American pharma company tried to nuke them?

[–] Winterfrost@lemm.ee 4 points 2 days ago

That's exactly my cousin!!

[–] JoShmoe@ani.social 3 points 2 days ago

Shows up for a dispensary, walks away from a colonoscopy.

[–] Infynis@midwest.social 2 points 2 days ago

Give me a cup of Mek anyday

[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 1 points 2 days ago

Any drugs that would work on human would likely be super harmful to you.

[–] don@lemm.ee 1 points 2 days ago

“No, sorry, we have only the shit we brought from our home planet. What good is keeping drugs in space, besides irradiating them to the point of being radioactive, and thus completely unusable? You guys are fuckin weird, yo.”