this post was submitted on 27 Dec 2024
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[–] Sir_Premiumhengst@lemmy.world 2 points 13 minutes ago (1 children)

Yeah. I think Emma Watson has also said sth similar. Feminism is, in some extent, also about people who identify as men to embrace what they perceive as womanly jobs. Being a socially acceptable stay at home dad will earn you a lot of weird looks and snarky comments questioning your sexuality.

And I understand that that's no where close to the shit that women and people beyond the gender binary experience on a daily basis.

[–] spujb@lemmy.cafe 1 points 11 minutes ago

emma watson is lowkey the goat, i should pay more attention to what she puts out :) thanks for sharing

[–] solomon42069@lemmy.world 58 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Growing up, I used to cross dress and lip sync my favourite divas for my friends and family. No one seemed to mind that except my parents who flipped out over it ( Catholic ).

Frankly I don't think any child should be ashamed of having a bit of fun. I don't remember thinking "yeah I'm gonna be a girl now" - I was just dressing up to make my sister and cousins laugh... But society loves to project it's ideas onto kids hey!

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 10 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (1 children)

I mean arguably even if you did "become a girl," why's that bad?

[–] pythonoob@programming.dev 6 points 10 hours ago

Cuz Catholic.

[–] PugJesus@lemmy.world 78 points 18 hours ago (3 children)

It's a strange feeling, to look back on your life and suddenly see how society has crippled you, knowing how terrible it has been for you, and yet being such an essential part of you, you have neither desire to remove it from yourself nor regret.

Only a desire to stop it from happening to anyone else.

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 26 points 15 hours ago

This, right here, is why I'm an extremely vigilant mentor for people in my industry. It will eat you alive and take until there's nothing left. Not letting that happen to anyone.

Same stance on parenting: my kids get to be whoever they want to be, and I'm right there with them. The only thing they can't be is an asshole

[–] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 10 points 14 hours ago

Well fucking said. Shit goddamn.

I'm the devil's favorite son

Thank you, so much love.

[–] JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca 19 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

I wouldn't be able to stand up for others as effectively if I hadn't been at least somewhat hardened by the bullshit and bullying by now.

Unfortunately HTFU is valuable advice in a lot of blue collar spheres. When I give it I typically caveat that it's only a shell, and you have to remember how to take it off.

[–] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 16 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (2 children)

HTFU?

Hulk The Fuck Up? (labor)

Hate The Fucking Users? (IT)

Has Tomorrow's Finality Urged (ADHD)

Have To Finally Unwind (everyone)

Having Tits Fixes U (confused)

Hawk Tuah Feminist Union (strong straight women)

How The Fuck U still awake (me)

[–] Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.works 8 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (1 children)

I'm stealing some of these, but guessing from OP context it's probably Harden The Fuck Up.

Edit: Also, I wanna see a logo for the Hawk Tuah Feminist Union. Like, really badly.

[–] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 2 points 11 hours ago

How did I miss it? I just tell the new guys to look at my scars and decide if they want to look like that.

having tits is fixing me :3

[–] DJDarren@thelemmy.club 108 points 19 hours ago (5 children)

Ain’t this the truth.

I’m a cis guy who likes to dress feminine around the house, and figured I’d paint my nails sparkly red and green for Christmas. Went into (my very masculine place of) work with them and got a depressing amount of comments asking if I’m gay, or expressing concern that I might be.

My dudes, it’s painted nails. I’m not trying to rail you all. Not least because my standards are far higher.

[–] Hexarei@programming.dev 3 points 4 hours ago

Doing those kinds of things at home because they were fun actually led to me realizing I'm genderfluid recently. It's been crazy facing a part of my experience of life that the patriarchal society we live in essentially deprived me of up to this point: knowing how euphoric it feels to let myself want to be pretty and feminine sometimes.

[–] laserm@lemmy.world 23 points 15 hours ago

"bUt NoRmAlCy.." Fuck this stupid, perverse idea of normalcy. People should be free to express themselves (as long as theyre not harming anyone ofc), no matter their gender. The freedom of expression is fundamentally programmed into the human nature and must be respected in a free society.

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 74 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

And this is also why its called homoPHOBIA. Often these people are literally afraid of gay(or any other queer) people. Nothings scarier than the unknown and especially if all your life theyve told you what horrible acts they perform.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 21 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

And you secretly are a little curious about it.

[–] shani66@ani.social 10 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago) (2 children)

Heterosexuality as we know it today isn't really real, so it makes sense. Having sex with other men (topping specifically) was just something that men did before the rise of a certain evil religion. I'm not really a scholar, but it seems to fit to me. If heterosexuality doesn't actually exist and your religion says anything else is evil, you have to demonize sexuality heavily, and That's exactly what happened.

[–] sudneo@lemm.ee 3 points 10 hours ago

If you are referring to ancient Greece/Rome as a culture where homosexuality (specifically sex between men) was normalized, that's wrong. What actually was normal was men having sex with male kids, not adults (see https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexuality_in_ancient_Greece). This is clearly something we now consider a complete abomination, obviously, but men did not use to have sex with other adult men (surely there were cases, but it was not a widespread cultural phenomenon like pederasty).

This is also why I don't think it makes sense to use historical references to help build a moral foundation about what's right and what's wrong. Gay sex is fine because it's consensual adults enjoying and not harming anybody, not because there was some golden age in which this was accepted.

[–] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 5 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

First sentence, ok I'm with you.

Having sex with other men (topping specifically) was just something that men did

And the bottoms were not men then? I understand what you're referring to, you just need to think more critically about it.

I'm not really a scholar, but it seems to fit to me.

Sounds pretty gay book bro

[–] shani66@ani.social 2 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago)

Maybe i should have specified 'straight' men (as in the culturally assumed 'default'), but all I've heard about ancient sexuality has been through an incredibly homophobic culture, so you might have a pretty good point there.

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 9 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago) (1 children)

Of course everyones curious and this doesnt mean that everyones queer it just means that its human nature to question things. You may be curious for a while and then find out whether youre queer or not. Nothings better than knowing who you are. These people are extremely lost and thats why you see so many of them actually be gay n stuff but they hide it and hurt people who are the same as them. Of course this is mainly about politicians that are gay but it applies to a lot more fields of life.

[–] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 8 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago)

Right on. I peeked at other boys penises when I was very young, got called out one time I remember pretty well. Went on to be straight. Went to college and kissed a guy and made out with a guy. It didn't work for me. I now understand I am very straight, but I'm not a fucking homophobe. I'll tell you when you look good as a man.

One more point- I started to, and couldn't go through with, man man woman threesome when I was young. I just don't find men sexually interesting and everyone enjoying each other is what makes that fun.

[–] spujb@lemmy.cafe 24 points 17 hours ago

hell yeah brother 💅

[–] Wrufieotnak@feddit.org 21 points 17 hours ago

That last paragraph sounds exactly like the words that need to be uttered to them.

that's what I have been sayinh

[–] latenightnoir@lemmy.world 39 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago) (1 children)

They tried. Oh, sibling, did they try...

And the worst part is that you're fucked either way. If they manage to get you to murder your own soul, you're a husk. If they don't, you're a pariah.

[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.world 15 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Living life as a pariah isn't so bad, normal people admire when your principles haven't been cynically beat into the dirt

[–] latenightnoir@lemmy.world 11 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago) (2 children)

And it's not just that, it's the feeling of maintained integrity one has for oneself, it's such an honest and healthy kind of pride to have! I kept hearing the adage that "principles can't keep you fed" over and over while growing up. Even during University, and it was a fucking acting school. But having lived both with and without my principles, I'd rather die starving with my principles intact.

I have no use for the acceptance I'd receive from such fearful, hateful and greedy people. Thanks, but I'd rather love life and its infinite diversity.

I was talking more from the perspective of trying to exist within the patriarchal system, healthy cohabitation is functionally impossible. Even if one tries to walk the edge in between, one will only end up with lacerated feet.

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[–] Elrecoal19@lemm.ee 18 points 18 hours ago

Become numb if you do, or become shunned if you don't. And not to talk about bottling emotions and not letting them out healthily... because a bottle can only hold so much stuff until it explodes

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