Ask Lemmy

Reddit: "Women of Reddit, how do I make you give me sex?"

Does your mom's ass count?

Yes. But it was completely legal.

I had these really annoying ducks near my house and I would shoot at them, but missed a lot. The neighbor’s dog would pop out of the tall grass and LAUGH at me each time. It made me so mad I tried to murder that dog multiple times but he always got away.

Am I the only one who is against murder? Why is nobody talking about the immorality behind murder?

Not yet.

I coughed without a mask near an old lady ranting about liberals in a super conservative little town in Texas during COVID.

Dunno. Maybe it's genuine curiosity. Maybe they're farming upvotes and believe that something dramatic like such a question will achieve that.

But to answer the question; almost. I came pretty close to murdering somebody. Not out of rage or anything, but out of desperation. A man was attacking my mother, choking her on her leather necklace. My sister grabbed the chopping axe. I grabbed the metal pipe, but then we just froze.

Because they're probably honeypot threads created by law enforcement. Or people are just really that stupid. Idk.

Yeah. Threw a little boy, a plumber, and a dog under the front of a boat. Then I said "allow me to demonstrate" because I'm a professor.

Shyea right, nice try NSA, like I would ever tell you about that time on September 27, 2012, 3:03 am, Jefferson Dr in Bowling Green, Ohio, when I was driving drunk and veered around a corner, slamming into someone walking along the road. Or that the pedestrian is killed instantly and I sped away without calling 9-1-1. You think I’d rat myself out like that?

I'm not really sure how it works but I was told I gobbled up my brother as an embryo in the womb. He was yummy.

So I'll actually answer since I've never shared this even though the post is making a joke.

It's not really murder I'm sure, but it has stuck with me forever. I took care of my grandmother through the end stages of her cancer as some form of "hospice" care. I was the one that gave her morphine when she needed it and essentially within days of starting it she became more and more zombified and then passed away. It happened within roughly a week. It was only after all that did learn about morphine toxicity in the elderly and realized that even though it helped her with the pain I'm pretty sure I "killed" her. :(

Yes I'm a mass murder and so is my family, the skin cells that I shed every day are entitled to the personhood that we afford people! Never mind that the death and shedding of skin cells in natural, normal and everyone does it, we must protect the skin cells!

I've made an inexcusable mistake that caused someone to die. It's been 20-ish years, still not over it. Is anyone even allowed to get over something like that and go on with their lives?

People ask because murderers exist, and if they've served their sentence, they might be willing to answer and have interesting stories?

It's easier and generally more acceptable to ask here than in the grocery store.

I recently murdered a bowl of mac and cheese. It was premeditated.

Oh yeah!

Once had a deep long talk with a guy who gunned down an armed guy breaking into his home. Dude didn't show any remorse but also didn't show any pride in it. It was just another thing that happened to him living in a shit neighborhood. He also had to shoot at others breaking in before, but didn't kill them. I think sometimes people live in a concrete jungle where jungle rules still apply - kill or be killed. Some people deal better with this fact than others but the dude also had major psycho vibes.

I've murdered my soul working at an office

No Mr Officer.

I have never commited a felony.