A donut receipt is an alibi. Just saying.
this post was submitted on 15 Nov 2024
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I used to like Mitch. I still do, but I used to, too.
People either love him or they hate him. Or they think he’s ok.
Is anyone indifferent?
Luckily, they're not bringing ink into this, only thermal paper!
- Sir, you can't leave without paying for that donut.
- But I just paid for it! Here's the receipt.
And that's why you need a receipt for a donut.
I had a friend who liked to sulk around in a trench coat. He bought a grocery store donut and promptly tossed the receipt.
He was soon stopped by grocery security for theft. After some hassle they tracked down his receipt and let him go, but yeah that’s what donut receipts are for.
You can see how the main issue wasn't the receipt, right?
Hold it. Did you pay for that receipt?
The actual answer is for reimbursement, for example if you're buying them for a work meeting or something.
Sure .. but a single donut?
Honestly the process for getting reimbursed is annoying enough that I'm only going to do it for stuff that's more than $10. I don't need to be reimbursed often though
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Let me file that under D... for Donut.
…cause we all know what D is
Most receipts contain a time stamp. I could imagine a scenario where someone claimed Mitch (if he was still here) was involved in a crime and he could use the donut receipt as proof of innocence.
It's up to the discretion of the judge.
Friend had car stolen. Joyriders caused police chase but they got away. Police arrested friend. He had an ATM receipt time stamped from when the police were chasing the stolen car.
Judge didn't care.
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I usually get a reciept, but that's because I like to scan/archive them and keep track of how prices change over time
What the actual f-
uck is up with th-
e hyphenation?
Looks like tex formatting, they want each line to be the same width, so the badness value for hyphens must have been less than just using bigger spaces, which they also did
This explanation sounds very reasonable, and it makes me feel even more disgusted.
\documentclass[unholyhyphen]{donutreceipt}
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I get a receipt for everything, that way if anyone asks if I have the receipt, the answer is always yes, not gee was this one of the things I thought was too inconsequential to keep the receipt for.
Also, if I'm ever audited by the IRS I'm going to inundate them with so many receipts, they'll owe ME money when it's over.
Do you remember a time where the receipt had the name of the store, the time and date of the purchase, an itemized list of what you bought, and the tax you paid and nothing else?
Nowadays there's also a transaction id, a qr code, a coupon for your next purchase, a quote of the day, a novel, and some ads printed on there. My last order of french fries came with a piece of paper that is longer than my forearm. Ikea spits out half a metre of thermal paper when I order 2 hot dogs. Whyyyu?
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Travel expense reimbursement
though many companies have a "no receipt required if under $xyz" policy.
Man, I wish that was the case at places I worked at. My last company would give you stipends for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Try to spend that stipend at a convenience store because you don't eat breakfast and just want some coffee and a snack for later? Screw you, we're deducting from your paycheck for that.
I had a coworker who got caught on the wrong side of that policy. Since then, he'd always max out his stipend at every meal. Apps, desserts, etc. He'd get a second entree just to take back to his hotel as long as it wouldn't put him over the limit.
He probably cost the company hundreds extra because they wouldn't reimburse him for a bag of chips one time.
Malicious compliance is a form of art.
I've done similar as well. My work gave me a real hard time with a grocery receipt, because there was a grocery store an easy walk from the hotel and I bought some deodorant or something along with some snacks and sandwich ingredients. It was maybe $30. My choices were don't claim it or recalculate the cost without deodorant including tax from just the deodorant and write a memo detailing what meal(s) I was charging. I Also had to say why I wasn't claiming certain meals (because leftovers, etc., I even had to have a meeting with the refund person because the company putting on the training fed us and I didn't have receipts). After that I made sure I ordered as close to ~$43 as I could (meal plus 15% tip maxed out what I could claim) three times a day.
I also couldn't order two appetizers or entrees without needing a memo and/or showing it was for the next meal because we couldn't buy someone else food. Pizzas were never questioned beyond "you ate it all yourself?" though. I really like expensive pizza parlors when I'm traveling for work.
If I have a charge for 7 cents on my work CC and no receipt, I have to go through the seven layers of hell to beg for clemency.
I once spent over an hour trying to get a receipt for a refund that was higher than expected. (error in our companies favor)
You can buy donuts with you company card? Lucky
So, they made the receipt longer?
I never take receipts for food because even if the food is awful, I'm not returning it. They might just serve it to someone else, and I don't want to contribute to that.
You should take it. Especially nowadays. You'll never know when you might need a solid alibi.
How could I have been getting an abortion? I was across town getting a donut. Jen L was the cashier. She saw me.
If I ever need to get an abortion, things are even more fucked up than I thought. I am a man. Though I suspect if men could get pregnant, abortions would be legal without any contestation.
It's a critical health code violation to take the served food back into the kitchen, let alone serve it to another customer. Not that it DOESN'T happen, but it is unlikely.
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The receipts for food aren't so that you can return it. They are for expenses record keeping. For example, some jobs have a food allowance; or special tax concessions for food bought while working. But to get those benefits you need to have evidence that you bought the food.
I somehow hoped for donut recipes.
I do occasionaly buy a donut, but never for myself. So I cary it around with me for a while, often visiting other shops with it. I'd rather have a receipt with me, don't need any funny experiences.
I miss not caring about my budget. I also don't miss not caring about my budget.
This person has never had to file an expense claim for meals that are paid by the employer.
Yes, it's only a dollar or two. But it's a dollar or two that my employer has to pay extra.
I once picked up one of those dirt cheap breakfast toasts from burger King. My expense report stated "Worst breakfast ever. Never again."
In the USA, business expenses are tax deductible.
In my part of the world, the receipt proves that the sale was entered into the tax record, so the seller is not cheating on taxes by understating revenue.
Have you paid your yearly donut tax?
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