this post was submitted on 11 Oct 2024
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[–] comador@lemmy.world 139 points 4 days ago (3 children)

Great until it grabs some skin or hair

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 97 points 4 days ago (3 children)

sleeps in the nude

Nutsack gets pinched

[–] skulblaka@sh.itjust.works 91 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Everyone knows you're supposed to wear a gambeson beneath your chainmail. Leather or padded cloth is best.

Ergo, full body gimp suit before bed

[–] meliaesc@lemmy.world 17 points 4 days ago

Oh good so I just need the chainmail.

[–] MehBlah@lemmy.world 25 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I understand that reference

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] MehBlah@lemmy.world 19 points 4 days ago (3 children)

A not quite twenty year old thread where a guy got his nuts pinched in a chair and asked the internet for help

https://www.fark.com/comments/2018473/Im-stuck-to-my-chair-Im-so-very-scared-Help-Details-In-thread

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

It seems very likely that I don't want to click that, but I appreciate the clarification.

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I can confirm that’s the source. Don’t worry about clicking it, most of the images are lost to time.

Which is a shame. It was hilarious.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago

Maybe we should have some kind of archive of the internet so this isn't a concern! Oh wait.

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[–] Wolf314159@startrek.website 32 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

Have you ever worn chainmail without an undershirt? Or gambeson? It feels neat at first. Never had to worry about pinching. It didn't grab any hair. The metal will feel cool and smooth all night. But oh Lord, the awful pain it will bring to unprotected virgin nipples. Like surfing for a hundred years without a rash guard all in one hedonistic night concentrated on the area less than two dimes. NEVER AGAIN. A couple bandaids or pasties the next time and all is good.

I think you'll be fine with just a top sheet between you and the chainmail.

[–] Event_Horizon@lemmy.world 26 points 4 days ago (1 children)

So what you're saying is, he needs to add nipple holes!

[–] atomicorange@lemmy.world 20 points 4 days ago (1 children)

This explains the lesser known war cry of

"Don't fire until you see the pink of their nips"

[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 20 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

ill buzz my entire body for the heatsinking properties of aluminium, on this infernal heat

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

And cover your nipples with bandages.

[–] rsuri@lemmy.world 65 points 4 days ago (1 children)

And unlike most kinds of chain mail, this one is also effective at protecting the user from any thrusting attacks that could lead to penetration.

[–] scutiger@lemmy.world 17 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Some of us are into penetration

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[–] ODuffer@lemmy.world 63 points 4 days ago

You got Mail

[–] imPastaSyndrome@lemm.ee 71 points 4 days ago (3 children)

Prevents some forms of murder!

[–] gibmiser@lemmy.world 48 points 4 days ago

Assassin shows up like. Bro whatthefuck is this?

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[–] Apeman42@lemmy.world 47 points 4 days ago (6 children)

They make loosely braided weighted blankets. They won't be as cool as this, but they allow for plenty of weight while still maintaining good airflow. And a far lower risk of scrotum/labia/nipple tragedy.

[–] Tai@lemm.ee 17 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Any of those would make a great band name.

[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 19 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Wait holy shit you're right:

Risk of Scrotum

Risk of Labia

Risk of Nipple

Scrotum Tragedy

Labia Tragedy

Nipple Tragedy

Far Lower Scrotum

Far Lower Labia

Far Lower Nipple (uh?)

Lower Scrotum Tragedy

Lower Labia Tragedy

Lower Nipple Tragedy (ok, idk who had a lower Nipple but it's weird that it's in the list twice)

Lower Risk Scrotum

Lower Risk Labia

Lower Risk Nipple

Shit, this might be the biggest combo of band names in a single sentence I've ever seen

[–] SmackemWittadic@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago

Far Lower Nipple (uh?)

That's the clitoris I think

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I'd be more interested in this for the weight. I want more weighted blanket than I can usually find, and I'm guessing this is heavier than that.

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[–] Restaldt@lemmy.world 39 points 4 days ago

Bros 'tism yearns for the smithy

[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 13 points 4 days ago

Oh fuck I was just thinking about how to solve my need for a heavy blanket while not constantly overheating and waking up.

[–] morrowind@lemmy.ml 9 points 4 days ago (2 children)
[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago

He wakes everyone within a hundred foot radius every time he tosses & turns

Earplugs were a game changer for my sleep.

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 14 points 4 days ago (4 children)
[–] RagingRobot@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago

Yeah my pubes would get stuck in there too lol ouch

That's rash city, Jake, rash city!

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[–] nick@midwest.social 14 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Ow my leg hair ow my back hair ow my arm hair.

[–] pennomi@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago (1 children)

What’s worse is this looks like butted mail instead of riveted mail, so it’ll have lots and lots of little snaggy pokey bits.

[–] dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I can't tell from the potato quality of the pic, but that's likely. Additionally, for contact with anything that hasn't got a layer of leather between it and me, I would really prefer to have welded rings. Riveted ones are also quite the chafe.

It appears that whatever pattern this is isn't a typical 1-in-4 or 1-in-6, so I have no idea how it's actually constructed.

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[–] Fosheze@lemmy.world 13 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Fuck, now I want to get into making chainmail. Time to pick up another hobby I guess.

[–] Cenotaph@mander.xyz 9 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Careful, from what I hear its an incredibly time consuming one

[–] Fosheze@lemmy.world 18 points 4 days ago (1 children)

It's like knitting but for MEN™.

~/s obviously~

[–] Cenotaph@mander.xyz 7 points 4 days ago (3 children)

Coming in scents like "PRIMEVAL GRIME" and "WOODCHIPPER"

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[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago

That's an understatement.

If anyone does want to get into it, don't do steel. Steel is cheap as shit, but you'll get carpal tunnel before you finish your first bag, belt or tie.

Idk if you can get like 16 gauge aluminum wire, but that would be far easier to work with. Or brass. just don't do steel

[–] JiveTurkey@lemmy.world 11 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (4 children)

Seems like you would want to use stainless steel instead of aluminum if you're going for weight.

Edit: Yes I realize there are better conductors of heat but for the sake of using corrosion resistant welding materials I went with stainless.

[–] kitnaht@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (6 children)

Stainless is an insulator of heat. In fact, it's used in 3D printers to avoid heat traveling up the path where the filament is fed in from.

Copper with a silver or rhodium plating would be a good choice otherwise. Copper has a higher thermal conductivity than aluminum, and silver does as well, but is also hypoallergenic.

[–] Smoogs@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

Silver would just bend though as it would be too malleable on its own

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[–] RoidingOldMan@lemmy.world 11 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Is this how those people ended up with random piercings/earrings all over their body? Like Xerxes in 300.

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