this post was submitted on 16 Aug 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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(page 2) 50 comments
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[–] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago

for less drama, you could "steal" property from someone you know and they could helpfully press charges so you can get arrested.

just a heads up, most prisons in the US are pay to stay, so you'll accrue debt while inside, and depending on what state you're in you might have to put up a copay for your medical care.

I'd advise doing a little research and committing your inoffensive bank robbery or the like in the right area.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

If you went to sweden and made some enough bad crime, you'd get ss and food and shelter til they figure out how to ship you back.

Ot find a european soulmate to marry!

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Something tells me that someone this desperate doesn't have money for a passport and a plane ticket.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Take a survival loan, use a credit card, if it's that urgent.

[–] bobburger@fedia.io 2 points 2 months ago

You probably want to go to a minimum security federal prison. The easiest way to get there that I think of is check fraud.

You'll need to write a bunch or bad checks in as many states as you can, or send them through the mail. You'll need to do this a lot, and for a pretty significant amount of money otherwise they'll just give you probation of some sort.

Having a disability might be a problem though; if it costs too much medically to keep you in prison they'll just out you back on the street as a compassionate release.

[–] CarbonatedPastaSauce@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

I feel icky responding to this because it highlights how shitty society is at taking care of our less fortunate, but if I was inclined to get myself into jail I would probably start with shoplifting the things I need to survive like food, camping supplies, etc. Very low risk of violence and if I don’t get caught, hey I’m better off.

Eventually I’d get caught. Then I can just keep not showing up for court and shoplifting food. Eventually I’ll get thrown in jail and when released I start all over. After enough times I’d graduate from county jail to prison.

I’m not recommending this course of action, but it’s probably what I’d do if that was my goal. Nobody gets hurt.

[–] bender223@lemmy.today 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Sorry about your situation. You bring up a good point. Our economy and gov is so shit about housing, that it actually does make sense to commit a crime to have a place to stay. I'm guessing, it would be better to commit some kind of non-violent white collar crime? I don't know. I'm not a lawyer. This just sucks. Sorry. 😔

[–] Today@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago (7 children)

Jail can be incredibly expensive!

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[–] ThePantser@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

Walk into a police station and state you just killed someone. They will lock you up, just be coy about who and where the body is and they will keep you locked up, maybe. If you want out just recant and say you just wanted some shelter. Without a body or a crime scene you will be free to go. IANAL or a cop so I could be 100% wrong in my scheme.

[–] AnarchoNoAdjective@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 months ago

Would it be possible to volunteer some time to an organization like food not bombs I heard they were getting fines and arrested for distributing food. You could possibly secure some food, help the community and still potentially go to prison for not paying the bogus fine.

[–] SonicDeathTaco@lemm.ee 0 points 2 months ago
[–] Mango@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

Don't be in New York.

[–] HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 0 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I've heard of some people robbing a bank. The banks will generally give you the money if you threaten them and the camera will usually make it easy to identity you as a robber. You don't even need a gun, you just have to threaten people.

[–] j4k3@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

There was someone years ago that used a bank/prison to get their cancer treated. I was thinking along these lines. Wear clothing that can not conceal anything, pass the teller a note, place a squirt gun on the counter, pass it to them, and then lay on the ground until police arrive.

[–] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Former bank employee here. You don't need a squirt gun. Theoretically you can walk into a bank, tell the teller you're robbing them and demand $1, then sit patiently on a bench and await police. The problem is that the judge at your sentencing will see that you are not truly a danger and give you probation. You will also have to pay fines.

Bear in mind that prison is not free. You are charged every day you are there, and will receive the minimum care to keep you alive.

The best option is to get a bus ticket to a part of the US with fewer homeless folks and good safety nets, then get a social worker. They will require that you don't have any living family who can help, so bear that in mind.

[–] protist@mander.xyz 1 points 2 months ago

+1. There are homeless shelters all over the US in every state, with varying services and capacity. Los Angeles is one of the worst cities for homeless services due to the weather keeping so many people there, it's a much easier place for people to live outside year-round than Michigan or Texas, for example.

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