this post was submitted on 30 Oct 2025
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Milk used to make me so sick my little ten year old body projectile vomitted it across the breakfast table and my parents, who'd seen 10¹⁰ milk commercials, were like "maybe you're not drinking enough milk."
my god..... that's ten billion ads.... if each ad lasts 30s, then your parents started watching milk ads 9510 years ago... that puts us roughly..... no wait.. -it can't be..!
Lmao. I was too skeptical to accept this at first, so I double-checked both the math and the date.
Incredibly, everything checks out.
Hm, now I'm imagining OP's parents having lived so long due to being the first vampires. They saw others drinking milk and thought, "Wait, so we're all cool with draining and consuming fluids from others' bodies?"
Maybe this is common knowledge, but the Maasai herd cows and will drain a non-lethal amount of blood from their necks to drink.
They make me cringe so hard. When I got my first job interview at McDonalds they came by in red and yellow tabbards to show our family's loyalty to their house.