this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2025
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[–] Stamets@lemmy.dbzer0.com 22 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I can't see any of these working as intended. Clowns don't subscribe to reality

Spawn them as a distraction!

Some of them cause a big distraction that accidentally points directly towards those you don't want to be seen.

Use them to hide!

One of them will look giant and big to hide you while the others honk and gesture/point behind, clearly showing where you are.

Build yourself a mountain of clowns to scale any wall!

Crabs in a bucket. None will let you climb. You must stay to hear their jokes...

Never starve again with their endless supply of pies!

Shaving cream pies. Ain't nobody got time to bake 30 coconut creams

Use their weight to bring down any air-/ship

They all blow up helium balloons to help it float. Unless you want it to float in which case their balloons turn into bowling balls at the last second with a big shrug.

Air drop them on their enemies!

See balloons

Just crush your entire party by spawning hundreds of them in a closed room!

Clown car logic. You're all "crushed" but it's just extremely difficult terrain.

[–] De_Narm@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

Luckily, most of these arguments assume living clowns. Something that can be easily remedied, it just shifts the entire problem space to doing it fast enough!

On that note, what's their EXP value?

[–] thebardingreen@lemmy.starlightkel.xyz 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

If my PCs responded to the clowns this way, I would absolutely make the clowns demons and the "bag of holding" a portal to a circus themed layer of the Abyss. And that's the campaign now.

It turns out the ruler of this layer of the abyss appreciates your lust for violence and mass murder. That's probably not actually... good? For you?

[–] De_Narm@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I don't know about you, but the prospect of becoming a warlock themed around blood, flesh and clownery sounds pretty sweet to me!

I'd definitely play that campaign.

I would definitely let you play that in my campaign. Also reminds me of that bad guy from One Piece.

[–] Stamets@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 3 days ago

Immortal Clowns of Jest. Zero XP and their death only fuels development of further abilities

[–] turdcollector69@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

They just despawn and it's 1/10^(78) xp per clown.

A fraction of 1 EP for each atom in the universe.

[–] thebardingreen@lemmy.starlightkel.xyz 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Exactly this. Also, one of the clowns will have a trombone to play sad trombone noises at you.