this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2025
968 points (96.7% liked)
Lemmy Be Wholesome
9933 readers
712 users here now
Welcome to Lemmy Be Wholesome. This is the polar opposite of LemmeShitpost. Here you can post wholesome memes, palate cleanser and good vibes.
The home to heal your soul. No bleak-posting!
Rules:
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
...
2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means: -No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
...
3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
...
4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
...
5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
...
6. No NSFW Content
-Content shouldn't be NSFW
-Refrain from posting triggering content, if the content might be triggering try putting it behind NSFW tags.
7. Content should be Wholesome, we accept cute cats, kittens, puppies, dogs and anything, everything that restores your faith in humanity!
Content that isn't wholesome will be removed.
...
8. Reposting of Reddit content is permitted, try to credit the OC.
-Please consider crediting the OC when reposting content. A name of the user or a link to the original post is sufficient.
...
- No politics. So no mentioning government officials etc
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
...
Reach out to @LadyButterfly@piefed.blahaj.zone for inclusion on the sidebar.
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules.~~___~~___
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
I will say, as someone who lived through chronic pain for years, saying I have pain, rather than saying I'm in pain feels quite distinct and... Less hopeless? You're not incorrect, you're just not recognizing the impact and power words can have. There are whole therapies that specialize in reshaping our narratives, despite "I am sad" and "I feel sad" essentially meaning the same thing grammatically.
"In pain", to me implies that it's happening right now, where as "having pain" is a long term thing.
Fair! To me it meant something that I was carrying with me, and made it feel more transient.
Ah interesting.
If it helps you to view language this way, then I think that's great. But you should also recognize that yours is not a universal understanding of what's connoted by this grammatical structure.
I really sympathize with chronic pain, as I also suffer chronic pain. But for me, I don't think changing the words I use would really help me.
And that's completely ok if it doesn't help you, I don't mean to invalidate your own experience. I was using a personal anecdote to show how language can influence thought, though there are better examples- like the Australian Aboriginal tribal languages that lack words for "left" and "right" and refer to everything relative to cardinal directions. As a result, they have impeccable senses of direction.
Or another example, linguistic relativity in colours (ie. Languages without a word for a colour like pink might have trouble distinguishing pink from red).
And if reframing words wasn't helpful for some people, there wouldn't be Narrative Therapy centres still running.
What does this even mean?
Are you really telling a person with chronic pain that they don't understand their coping mechanisms? That they shouldn't do it because you don't like it?
No, I'm not saying that. I think I clearly indicated that I approve of your coping mechanism with the my first sentence, "I think that's great." I meant that genuinely.
I'm saying I don't think your coping mechanism reflects a deep linguistic truth.
That's okay, it doesn't need to be linguistically precise to help with pain. If it works as a coping mechanism for you, it might work for others. But because I don't think it reflects a deep linguistic truth, I don't think this coping mechanism is likely to be widely useful for everyone with chronic pain, and I don't think this is likely to be helpful for many non-chronic-pain-havers to better understand chronic pain. Or perhaps it might help some people understand better, but if one's not clear that this is a coping mechanism that helps psychologically, and instead presented as linguistic fact, I think it will actually be on net harmful to the credibility of people with chronic pain.
Okay, so I guess part of where we differ is that I completely reject the idea of 'linguistic truth'. To me, there is no one singular way to communicate that is 'correct', all behavior is a form of communication and language is descriptive and not prescriptive. It's inherently subjective and not objective.
I also do the reframing to help with my mental health problems, and don't think about it as linguistic fact, I'm just looking for different words to describe the same feeling, but choosing my words based on connotation. It's almost super-linguistic, in that it's about the meta understanding and not the dictionary definition.
There is no such thing as a 'linguistic fact', what meta meaning words have will change based on geographical location.