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My first job after school and job training was being a paramedic. I was never mad at suicidal people or folks OD'ing. They are in a shit situation in life. But easily avoidable deaths? Jaysus Christ on a bike and all his carpenter friends... Train surfing morons (electricity fueled power lines and low hanging traffic signs!!!). People trying to walk through closed train barriers and getting hit. Car drivers speeding. People looking at their phones while crossing the street. There's a reason why I quit that job after 2 years. Oh dear lord am I mad at those gobshites just thinking back.
EDIT: Maybe because I'm mad as hell right now again: I live in a tiny village, so people would assume there's not much going on there, but we have two major train lines running through it. The tounge in cheeck joke here is: "The train barriers are always closed". Yes, many times enough, you need to wait patiently in front of them before you can walk again, drive you car again, ride your bike again. A 19 year old girl was thinking otherwise just yesterday and got mown over by a train. While I was standing there.
What did I do? Calling the firefighters, knowing that's a lost cause and they will have to spray that fucking 30 meters of blood away with their hoses. Also calling the firefighters here, they are deeply connected with paramedics - not that anyone needed them at that time anymore, but they have emergency psychologists on speed dial as well - for example for the train driver and any bystanders. Blergh. Fucking idiots... Ruining everyone's day. I didn't notify the cops around here because they are usually the first responders here at a very busy double highway with people speeding. I didn't want to fuck up their day as well. Eventually they turned up as well, but only after there was some cleaning and they just interviewed witnesses for the report.
:(
EDIT 2: Before you ask: I arrived just a minute too late to pull her away from getting too close to the tracks. :/
Friend, I hope that leaves your head some time soon.
This should help. Talking about it helps.
Be good to yourself today.
I can't undo what happened, I've seen such shite before, but I was walking my teeny tiny dog and when I saw what was inevitably happening, I took my dog on my arms and turned around 180 degrees. Yeah, it was horrible what happened, I was close to the person getting hit, but not close enough. Even if I ran, not a snowball's chance in hell. Sometimes you can't do anything.
But yeah, I am okay. I've seen shite like that before, jumpers. My dog is sleeping on my chest now and didn't see / notice any of it.
EDIT: Also, thank you for being concerned, but I'm okay. :) Do not worry about me.
This is similar to what they train Swedish train drivers to do if they are about to run someone over.
They are taught to close their eyes hard, cover their ears and scream as loud as possible.
This to distances themselves from the impact as much as possible
Oh my gosh, that is so messed up, did not know that. But yeah, thinking about it now, it makes a lot of sense.
Yeah, it is grim, but on the railroad, the question isn't IF you are going to kill someone, but rather, when.
So stuff like this is sadly needed.