this post was submitted on 25 May 2025
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The ability to get my DnD group to have a sensible, routine schedule, with no cancelations.
They are always completely distracted and on their phones the whole time.
Had this happen with one dude in college. I had no clue why he joined at all. He spent every session on his phone held 6 inches from his face, and always had to be told when it was his turn in combat, just for him to have no clue who to attack.
It's unfortunately common, just not necessarily everyone in the group. So, it's the best side effect due to the grounded reality that's suited to the wish.
Even for a post like this that’s just unrealistic.
But, everyone shows up but their fingers are constantly covered in a thick layer of Cheeto dust.
Everyone wants to play in your games
Your DnD groups are all incredibly hot and sexually uninhibited, but none of them will date you because they can always get great sex, whereas you are the best at being a DM. They also steal any one you want to date because they want you do do nothing but be there for them.
That seems oddly specific and personal.
Benny Hill did something along these lines.
You DM becomes your literal dungeon master. You're literally chained naked in a basement, forced to play endless games of DND.
The side effect is intended to be bad.
But they want to change their character every time.
This irritates your intestines terribly every time you use it, causing you to be the one to have to cancel every time tho, or play the session in agonizing pain and very frequent bathroom trips
There sure is a lot of "you poop yourself every time you use it" type responses here.
Their friends and family become trapped in stasis until they complete a campaign, they know you are to blame. You die when the campaign ends.
Tbh this one is a pretty easy one to undo at least. Just give them stupid OP magic items and have the BBEG wonder into camp unarmed.
So this one esentially boils down to "you only play once and your friends are pissed"
Alright, I'll make it a bit more difficult.
Everybody in the group but you suddenly dies.
Death counts as a cancellation, so that wouldn't work.