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Not much point in telling it really - totally my fault, somehow I made a turn across in front of somebody, didn't even see them coming. Nobody hurt and the other car just had a busted front corner, but my car was undrivable and the insurance company totalled it. It was a 2014 Nissan Leaf. I loved driving that thing - instantly felt completely at home in it, it felt like a little spaceship.
Im glad you're safe. Hang in there man. At least you're brave enough to try driving. Im too anxious to drive.
In my late 20s I had anxiety so bad I constantly walked around feeling like I was about to have a heart attack. Inspired by the movie Fame, I signed up for a community college acting class in the evenings. I forced myself to jump in with both feet on the first night. Getting through that was all it took - it turned out I was actually good at it and it was a blast. I became a total theatre guy - had big parts in a couple plays, designed and built sets, did props, ran lights, became stage manager... And almost immediately I had a thriving social life - going out in groups for food, going to parties, throwing my own... theatre became my life, my job was just something I did during the day. In all this my anxiety COMPLETELY faded away.
Besides all the fun there were other benefits. Learning to get into character transformed job interviews for me - I would just reframe the situation so it wasn't a job interview - I already worked there, I had just been away for a while and it was my first day back. It was going to be great to see the people again! It was a great group and our manager was awesome, I couldn't wait! So I would get into that character and walk in genuinely feeling glad to be there instead of being nervous. That's 90% cultural fit right from the start. My success rate skyrocketed (I was a contractor doing software jobs, so I had to get new jobs quite often).
Theatre led directly to eventually meeting my wife, and gave me the confidence to become a dad. I wouldn't be the person I am if I hadn't taken that first step. I HIGHLY recommend it to anyone with anxiety!