143
this post was submitted on 07 May 2025
143 points (94.4% liked)
Ask Lemmy
31535 readers
1217 users here now
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Not going to argue about the general kid stance. Just about the "shitty parent" bit, which is also de main complain.
There are two tiers of good/bad parent. There's the objective one, are the kids being hurt? No, then you are a good parent. Pretty easy.
But there's a more complex one. Are your education as a parent helping to produce an adult with a series of determined characteristics? This is a lot more complex. As there's no universal agree on what a good adult is so there cannot be a good agree on which parenting is good because it produces these type of adults.
I'd would assume that when people say "you are a shitty parent" they would me mostly saying "your education will produce an adult that I do not consider desirable in my idea of a society". That's subjective. Some people prefer some traits and other prefer others.
As in this general example if someone sees a kids making a lot of noise and their parents not correcting them they may say "that's a shitty parent". Do they think they are hurting the kids? No. They'll just probably think that those kids will grow up to be noisy adults and they don't like noisy adults, so they think that's not a desirable education for a kid in their society. Nothing more. I wouldn't take those "you are a shitty parent" in any other way.
It's not appropriate. But don't take it personal.
I am sensitive to noises, so I can empathize very well with people who suffer when noisy/kids people are around. It can be really debilitating and stressful. And frustrating, as there's usually no control over that situation. So it's usual for people to vent the extreme frustration generated by shit talking.
Maybe they have a neighbor with noisy kids and they are suffering every day because of it (as it is my case for instance). So being rude to strangers who may not have special concerns if kids/people are noisy or not is a way to vent. Not a good way, but it's natural in most people to vent their frustration with people they assume (correctly or not) are related to their suffering.
What I mean is that noise sensibility can be a very serious issue to some people. Empathy and compassion is needed in this cases when defending anything related with noisemaking.