Ask Lemmy
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
view the rest of the comments
I don't think anyone is actually against having an easier life, but that it's a problem of not being able to see the forest for the trees.
Making the plan in the first place is difficult for a lot of people. Following the plan can be orders of magnitude more difficult, particularly if someone is entrenched in a routine.
My view is that the perceived difficulty of changing your life is greater than the perceived simpleness of the current process.
Maybe there is some brilliant way to automate my most tedious chores. But then I've got to spend cognitive power directed at a task I find tedious. It might be easier to do things the way they've always been done rather than to think and try out new processes which don't always work.
Life is pretty hard though, and you can't change everything. I don't know if that means you shouldn't try, but I understand someone's desire to keep their head down
Making a plan is effort, but you can make the plan as easy as possible. My plan for home living is to have zero chores throughout the week. Only one day a week I will do chores, and it'll be 1 hour (2 hours if I have animals). Imagine coming home from work and having absolutely nothing to do, so horrible ugh I should be cooking, cleaning, and grocery shopping until it's time for me to leave for work. Having time to unwind, shower, and sleep is for tech bros π
Spend cognitive power once. Then "never" do it again. I'm never mopping, vacuuming, grocery shopping, or washing dishes. If I have animals I'm never feeding them, giving water, cleaning waste, grooming, or bathing them. All of that can be automated, so I'm automating it. Am I really going to spend my limited time on earth cleaning up dogshit?
You could change a LOT. For starters, you really don't need to drive to Costco for groceries. You could spend those hours doing something much better for yourself instead of going into traffic to complain about the traffic, walking in a crowded store to complain about the crowded store, wait on a long line to complain about the long line, then load up the car while hopefully not being screamed at by some tiktoker about putting the cart away, then drive home in the same slow traffic that can be lapped by a toddler on a three wheel scooter going up a hill, then unload the groceries for an hour and spend more hours trying to fit it all into the overfilled refrigerator and freezer you didn't check before leaving, and then finally checking the time to see that you will be late for work if you don't rush and get dressed and leave in the next twenty minutes. That actually can change, and whatever extra costs are probably as high as the amount you spend on gas, car insurance, Costco membership, anti stress supplements, weed, and impulse purchases made to cope with having to pull all nighters every weekend. You could just, not, pull all nighters for one fucking chore.
You sound like you've never had to care for yourself or a home a day in your life, and have no idea how the real world functions for anyone but the most privileged and entitled.
You're in for a real eye opener once you venture out on your own (or not, if you have the kind of privilege that would generate this mindset, I have a feeling you'll always have someone to go around after you cleaning up your messes and you may never get the slap in the face from reality you so desperately need).
Yeah I'll have my rude awakening when I can come home from work to zero chores and responsibilities, and do these chores like a speedrun on the day before I go back to work. The people cleaning up after me are robots, actually. Just floor cleaning bots. The money I didn't spend on everything a car needs will be spent on Amazon prime, subscribe & save, and fresh delivery.
Privilege didn't make me crazy about automation, actually my crazy ass mother who spent 30 HOURS grocery shopping every week making children pull an all nighter every Sunday did. Sunday was spent going to every grocery store ever on a fifteen plus hour excursion, then unloading for hours into a packed fridge of stuff that mother owned that no one was allowed to touch, then taking out trash which took hours because of trendy celebrity Superfoodsβ’ that mother bought that she let spoil into black sludge that was always all over the kitchen. I will never let my life without family be this horrible. When I cut ties I will have the easiest life ever.
The thing about adulthood is that if I can't achieve my ideal life Right Now, I can WORK towards it, unlike a child who has to just deal with it. It'll take a while, and a lot of planning and WORK, but I'll achieve it as soon as I cut ties with family.
You managed to take a paragraph about growing up with enough money to go on several hour long grocery trips every week to keep a fridge full of food that nobody had to eat to not go hungry.. and tried to make it sound like it was the struggle that motivated you to greatness.
I hope you gain some perspective man. I really do hope you're the very young Tech Bro I pegged you as because you've got time to grow out of this nasty behavior.. best of luck to ya.
So yeah, all that stuff belonged to that family's mother. Everyone lived on cup noodles despite a thousand (or MORE ffs) dollars being spent and wasted every week. I was skimped out on the most. That woman could buy whatever some Celebrity Doctor said to buy for $100 but wouldn't buy me body wash for months, and blamed my poor hygiene on a disorder I didn't have. Being neglected by a rich parent is horrible because you're not allowed to call them out without looking ungrateful or spoiled. You become "entitled" when you complain that you couldn't shower, have school supplies, or brush your teeth with toothpaste because your rich mother who just bought you a laptop didn't buy them.
Adulthood is awesome. I can drink... JUICE! When I'm THIRSTY! I can drink something with my meal, and eat something that is NOT cup noodles or top ramen! I can shower every single day with SOAP! And if I run out of soap, I can buy more because I can work. Life is worth living now that childhood is over. I'm honestly glad I didn't attempt suicide, all I had to do was wait it out.
And this gave me perspective on...
Just now MUCH money that woman literally threw out!
And
That my neglect was much much worse than I thought. I lived like I was minutes away from being homeless, every day until I got my first job as a freelance dog sitter. Like stretching everything with water, having dirty clothes to stretch laundry detergent, using the shower like a bidet, sleeping when hungry instead of eating. When all of that was unnecessary as shit bro. I thought I hated that woman the most I possibly could but now I resent her more.
And how the rest of that family just TOLERATED that! The one relative originally doing the driving for the grocery excursions was a secondary breadwinner, and she died the other day. She paid half the bills, and that wasn't enough for that mother. That mother would scream and berate the relative for NOT driving and standing around for 15 hours in her days off. If that relative had more than two days off, then she'd be driving and standing around on all of them. Her WHOLE LIFE was just work, driving, and Candy Crush and now she's dead. Her daughter replaced her as the grocery excursion driver. And I AM THE FUCKING PROBLEM for suggesting ordering online!
Man. That woman should have never had kids. She married the stupidest men who probably settled for anyone who'd pay them attention, had all these kids she just used for money and neglected. Bloody hell when my online stores pop off I'm gonna donate to some charity to prevent this shit no fucking child deserves UNNECESSARY suffering. There's being born in an unfortunate situation (poor, homeless, etc, which shouldn't even be things but whatever) and having rich parents who deliberately withhold basic necessities. Suffering for NO FUCKING REASON bro.
Oh yeah and I was telling that woman she could buy less stuff for herself but she insists on trying to vacuum seal produce that rots anyway bro. If I had that money you bet half of that would go to like Saint Jude or something and I could sustain a whole family on it while giving everyone comfortable lives where they don't need to smell bad because mommy needs to eat what kim kardashian eats.
I don't really disagree with your opinion, but I don't think it's all a one-size-fits-all solution for everyone.
If it was easy for people to change, they would. Like honestly, nobody wants a hard life. But there's lots of reasons why people don't, and you can't always tell what they are as an outsider looking in
It's not. Find a solution that allows you to manually do the least amount of housework possible. This way, a bad day or a horrible illness doesn't turn your home into Asmongold's.