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In my opinion the reason it's supposedly insulting is rooted in misogyny. A woman is the property of her male relatives. When someone sleeps with her without the permission of these relatives, he uses their property without permission, demonstrating his power over them.
I do realise that many people use this insult because it's just something you say. But I think it's worth reflecting about what it actually is you are saying.
I think there's also a power aspect. Your mom is your parent, someone with some power or status over you, so if someone sleeps with her they're now on the level of your parents, it implies that you're no longer equal peers but a step-parent/child relationship
This is better analysis then the comment you re responding to IMHO.
I was trying to "yes, and" that comment 🤷
I know but I think it's the other way around and maybe
If this were the case then “I fucked your dad” would be just as common an insult, with all the same connotations.
yeah those get thrown around in my friend group sometimes too. I think "i fucked your parent" jokes are usually made by straight dudes (which there's a lot to unpack there) though, so it's more common for them to go for the gender they're attracted to. Not always tho
I think the person I responded to isn't wrong, just that it's not the whole picture. I was/am trying to "yes, and" their comment
I feel like most people who would do this (males trying to seem "alpha") probably wouldn't be comfortable saying that, for whatever reason.
The whatever reason bring that they'd have played themselves because homophobia.
I imagine the potency of yo mama jokes that focus on banging her, as opposed to accentuating how ugly she is, comes from the discomfort of sexualizing someone that you want to not have sexualized given your intimacy with her. Reframing your mom as a sexual being rewrites the experience of affection with her, for example.
The ugliness piece devalues someone precious to you.
I also thinks it's just a rules of the game that people decide on and then forget. Participating in a game about who will gets upset, everyone implicitly agrees that this is something they can fall prey to having a reaction about. Sort of social game theory
I dont think the kind of person who torments you with constant motherly disrespect in school would he fazed by the suggestion that they are homophobic since they only target your mother. That's not a good gotcha at all, at best they would laugh and agree with you.
I think it's more than that. For some people their mom is their hero for taking care of them and they have a special love for her. Now if someone sleeps with my mom just to brag, the insult is that they did it just to brag about it and I am supposed to be angry because I know it wasn't genuinely someone who loves her.
🤦🏼♂️
The other misogynistic element is the Madonna/Whore complex, in my opinion.
Mothers are often classically viewed as the Madonna (it’s in the name), so they’re good and kind and virtuous.
However, I’ve insinuated that I fucked your mom, and if your mom has fucked, that means she’s a Whore because a Good Woman^tm^ doesn’t have a sexuality. By claiming that I’ve fucked your mom, I’m claiming to have defiled the sacred Madonna and turned her into a profane Whore.
In other words, saying “I fucked your mom” is basically saying “your mom’s a slut”, and in a worldview where women wanting to fuck is a sign of evil, that’s an insult.