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Ryobi cordless leaf blower. You have to aim for the rim because if you hit home it makes you burp.
Actually though, just dab with TP. You'll use much less TP and not need "flushable" wipes that still clog your main sewage line
Be sure to grab extra batteries and keep one on the charger. Trust me
Got a solid chuckle out of me man, thanks. Needed that.
I know you're joking, but i think I'd enjoy a Dyson ass dryer.
Technically, why not?
Because the butthole is sensitive and repetitive exposure to heat can cause issues.
Bumhole heatstroke is a thing. Gotta be careful.
No heat, imagine just a hand holdable blower with a complimentary vacuum to suck in everything blown away. Like at the dentist. The dentist makes a mess in your teeth while the assistant uses a little vacuum tube to clean it all up.
I wonder when Dyson is going to bring out their arse-sized airblade?