this post was submitted on 15 Apr 2024
73 points (94.0% liked)

Ask Lemmy

26968 readers
1469 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] Rakqoi@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 7 months ago (2 children)

You can't really assume that just based on the fact that the person was manipulative. BPD doesn't deserve the hatred and stigma that it has, because not all individuals with BPD are manipulative or toxic, and individuals without the disorder can be terrible and abusive just the same.

Please don't further spread negative stigma about people who struggle with a very difficult disorder which does not inherently make us awful, manipulative people.

(Signed, someone with BPD who is very aware of how she treats others and has a very healthy and fulfilling relationship with another individual with BPD)

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I grew up with one. I cannot agree.

[–] Rakqoi@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Just because you know one person who has a particular disorder does not mean that every person with the disorder is the same as them. That's harmful and reductive, if not downright dehumanizing.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Try reading the subreddit r/BPDlovedones. They all have the same experience over and over and over again with borderlines. Haven't seen one who has had a good outcome with a relationship with a borderline. They're all there because it's terrifying and terrorizing.

[–] Rakqoi@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

The only people who post there are those who had bad relationships with individuals with BPD, the ones who have healthy and happy relationships will not post there, obviously. Just because some people have bad experiences with others who have untreated BPD doesn't mean everyone with BPD is guaranteed to behave in the same ways.

If there was a subreddit called r/lefthandedlovedones full of people complaining about bad experiences with left handed people, that doesn't mean that all left handed people are abusive.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 1 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Find me someone who has had a good relationship with a borderline. Find me a subreddit that has people with those experiences. There isn't and that's because it's universally a terrible experience.

[–] 42yeah@lemm.ee 0 points 7 months ago

Dude, maybe just accept that there are at least one good relationship. maybe the sub does not exist because relationships are usually private and intimate, esp the good ones. There’s no need to double down just because you had a bad one.

First off, good on you for being aware of the fact that you have BPD and for working on yourself. I mean that sincerely. You probably don't realize that you are a statistical anomoly, at least based on my extensive research. Very, very few people with BPD are ever diagnosed and probably fewer still possess the emotional awareness to even acknowledge that they have a borderline personality.

Second, you shouldn't take OP's comments personally. Yes, BPD is a horrible mental illness. And as someone who spent six years married to someone who I am 99.99% sure has undiagnosed BPD, I understand it much better than I want to. I could make a movie about that chapter of my life and it would be like watching a horrible Trainwreck. Over the years I've read and heard horror story after horror story from other people with SO's, parents, and friends who are struggling with BPD (virtually all of them unknowingly) and honestly, BPD has earned every single bit of its stigma.

You just happen to be in a better situation than most of the people who struggle with it.