this post was submitted on 07 Feb 2024
24 points (68.8% liked)

Ask Lemmy

27027 readers
872 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

I was assigned male at birth but have increasingly started to notice over the years that other guys don't have a big notch on either side of their torsos like I do. It's my pelvic bone. I would go to a doctor to see what they had to say but they've seen me plenty of times and said absolutely nothing about being intersex and now I live in a rural conservative area and they don't seem to diagnose the same way in hardly anything that is a conservative third rail. I just seem to have a really wide pelvis just like a female. Everything else seems male. I am a very normal weight so it's not fat tissue - its clearly bone. I just feel gaslit over it and have been trying to gauge perceptions people have of me in my life in order to get on with things. I hate to turn to the internet but this is driving me crazy. I need something to work with, somewhere to start.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 0 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I would stop looking for labels and just be you.

I wish I could tattoo this on the retinas of every Gen Z kid so they'd be forced to see it literally all the time.

[–] DessertStorms@kbin.social -4 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (3 children)

And I wish I could convey to people like you what an absolute privilege it is to not feel the need to label yourself because society already not only recognises and accepts you as the default, but caters to you as such.

Those of us not so lucky like to find our people, those who can understand us and what we've been through, those we can relate to who can relate to us, and act as the community society never was for us (your comment being a perfect demonstration of the massive blind spot so many people have to the struggles of marginalise people).

Check your privilege instead of expecting those who don't have it to be as comfortable as you are (which literally requires you to just not give your uninformed opinions of people whose experience you clearly know nothing about and the actions we take to feel less excluded).

[–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Do you really care about people who will only accept you if you only have a label? I think gen Z cares to much about finding "your people". You know who your people are? People who accept you because you are you, not because you're a X, Y, or Z.

Why would you give a damn about the opinion of someone who only accepts you because you label yourself as whatever? That's a shitty person.

Edit: actually, thinking a bit more about this, that could be pretty lonely depending on your circumstances, because most people are absolute shitbags. So I can understand the appeal of being able to say "I IDENTIFY AS FKLDS;AME" and finding a ready-made community of FKLDS;AME to act as a societal support, since the cishet society you happen to be born into hates anyone who isn't cishet.

Still far from ideal.

I think my privilege is not so much my own cishet identity but simply a geographic one: no one here gives a damn what you identify as, all are equally valid. You don't need to find a new community of FKLDS;AME people or FKLDS;AME allies. Everyone is just groovy about whatever. Less pressure to label.

[–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

just not give your uninformed opinions

Someone forgot what community they're in

[–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world -1 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Checking

Edit: yep it's still there