LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins

some rich guy paid a couple guards to kill him

If that were the case then they wouldn't have the fucking government covering it up. It literally is a conspiracy

time keeps on slippin slippin slippin, into the future

Is this the new megathread or is it just a mega thread

fuck, my gf got Abiotic Factor for me, then I got my brother to play, then her friend got it to play with me and her, so now I have three games going of this fucking thing and nobody wants to play it as much as I do and even when they do I forget what I was doing because oh this is a different game

but hey I guess that's how this place can afford to pay me to come help cook for literally eight customers

dude I'd be so mad if I paid to eat at the restaurant I was just cookin' at and I knew "how it was made" like lol

I'm in there re-heating risotto, just adding cream and cheese to it basically. I'm in there giving motherfuckers TWO stalks of asparagus to go with their duck breast. You want some scallops? Okay, you get five tagliatelle, FOUR scallops, all mixed into a peppery, asparagus laden sauce. with five florets of broccoli. enjoy your fuckin' dinner

like damn lol if I paid 55 dollars or w/e for "duck breast and asparagus" I would be absolutely livid at getting TWO stalks of it, like, no, come back with my fucking vegetables, asshole.

I bought a whole fucking bunch to make when I got home and wow, I used half of it and made three huge servings! but yeah, let's nickel and dime people on vegetables and call it fine dining

my problem is once I opened a pickle jar and a shard of glass sheared off the rim and into my thumb and so now every time a jar refuses to yield its contents to me easily, I HAVE TO get a towel or silicone oven mitt to grip it with before I try harder

i would have thought for sure that "kellogg's" would just be a fuckin unilever property

I wouldn't have started growing "spicy cajun bell peppers" if i knew they only grew to be like thumb sized

You guys think "bacon is a spice" is weird but i was already going to get bac-o's (bacon flavored tofu) to grind up to season vegan food when i'm back at work. and people will think Im a genius. Im going to do a Hawaiian pasta salad with that shit crumbled in there and people are gonna be like WOAH

They didn't bemoan it when Trump was involved, they made up an entire fictional canon explaining how Secret Agent Trump is actually on the good side

I noticed the "we did nothing wrong" press brief basically just said "nobody went into or out of the area of the prison he was in" but 1) hows that work, didn't someone need to feed that cracker or make a check? 2) what if, gasp, they were already in that area before that night?? 🙄