Asklemmy

My sister and brother and I are abandoning our large extended family thanksgiving this year to avoid our toxic mother. My sisters friend went missing and was found dead and my mother was being a bitch about it saying things like “if he was closer to his family that wouldn’t have happened. Things like that only ever happen to bad people.”

Mom told me it would be great if my siblings and I all lost our homes and jobs so we would have to live with her again.

My brother is going through a divorce and lives with her for now and he’s cutting her out as soon as he’s back on his feet.

We love our extended family but we can’t ask them to exclude my mother so we are just splitting off this year and I’m still super upset about it.

We go to a buffet by the lake.

Its honestly really nice not having to Cook, but it does feel quintessentially american to make someone else do it.

My traditions revolve more around what’s cooked, rather than what’s done. Never really had a big to-do when it came to Thanksgiving, to be honest.

Watch the parade, make the favorite dishes, and enjoy the leftovers for a week. The Black Friday leftover sandwich is the best, naturally.

Italian American so one of our traditions has been a thanksgiving lasagna that typically gets a lot of love. Sometimes we'll make stuffed shells instead if its a smaller gathering. Meatballs for the red sauce we make are a must as that's the family recipie where we chase how our grandma used to make the most. We get fresh loaves of Italian bread from a local bakery, we make a big antipasta, and have olive oils and a home made garlic spread for the bread. We've done the feast of seven fishes before but that particular tradition hasn't been one we do every year. We still do turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, butternut squash soup, and some others too for the more traditional Thanksgiving dishes. Desserts go crazy with offerings from the bakery, as well as coffees typically with anise liquors, like Sambucca or Anisette.

If you can't tell from the novella comment my mother and I have kind of taken over the cooking roles once her parents got too old to do it. I cherish them as a way to stay connected with my family heritage and my culture. Open kitchens are a must and cooking has always been a bit of a communal thing for us. Even when theres just one 'cook' in the kitchen they're usually not alone.

When I was a kid, my sister and I would watch the Macy’s Day parade all morning while my mom cooked.

After that we would probably throw on some football games in the background (mom’s the sports fan in my family).

We would go see the aunts and uncles and my grandparents — either side, we rotated between maternal and paternal off and on — and hang out there for a few hours around 3-4.

One of my uncles fried a turkey when that came in vogue, and my mom would always make mashed potatoes, while my aunt would make Mac and cheese. There was also this pineapple casserole with cheezit crust. It sounds weird, but the sweet and salty and crunchy go well together. It’s kind of like classy stoner food haha.

We also had rolls. They were these flaky layered rolls that I love a lot still. I recall peeling them apart layer by layer to eat them. So good.

I can try and remember more stuff, but that’s mainly it. We had more dishes, but they were like green bean casserole and stuff, so kid-Minions doesn’t associate that with Thanksgiving so much. I eat my veggies now, though.

Honestly all it is for my family is eat the big meal and watch the game. I usually nap during the latter part because I ate so much.

If I'm at my moms then we might do some games. Sometimes we do what is called an "auction party". Where everyone who shows up brings two things they don't want anymore. Then we all get the same amount of fake money and sit in the same room and bid on it. I can be real funny with gag items going through long bidding wars. It can also be pretty helpful to get an item you actually care about.

During a covid auction party a half used bottle of hand sanitizer had an absolutely riotous bidding war over it.

We cook together, everyone has a dish or two to make. Then we go cut down a Christmas tree that weekend and decorate.

Getting stuck in traffic.