And then in the end tell all of them the position has been filled, leaving you with all the cash
this post was submitted on 17 Nov 2025
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Microblog Memes
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It's not a bribe if you do paperwork.
(Joking, but not really. It's impressive how much shit you can get away with if you file the paperwork.)
It's not a bribe, it's a processing fee. You can't go forward with the interview process until you pay it.
"Inhuman Resources" haha
Excellent. Now I know who to target with scam and phishing emails.
The A players. They are clearly all suckers.
So someone who falls for even the most basic of phishing scams is an A player?
Why would a CEO want any of those in their company? Or is it to see a reflection of themselves?
Read the account name in the meme.
That's not what phishing is
I’ll Venmo him $1500 and beat out all these other chumps! They’ll see who the real A player is!
That's a S player and overqualified. Not recommend for hiring.
Happy to keep the resume on file in case we need a quick $1500 again though
Somebody who thinks about instructions and improves them? Nah, you definitely won't get the job.
If they do it on the spot...
...then they are either gullible, desperate, or bad with money.
If anything I would think those would be indicators you wouldn't want to have that person employed.
It would also be the opposite indicator of high agency. Someone of high agency would know they are their own person with their own power to affect change and wouldn't simply hand over $500 for no reason.
There is some irony in calling the A Players gullible in a tweet by "inhuman resources"
This community isn't usually for satire accounts, so I guess I ate the onion on that one.
I love their avatar being Toby Flenderson hahaha
"Suckers"
$500? Those are rooky numbers in this racket.
EXECUTIVE
(tentative)
Well, Will, I'm not exactly sure
what you mean, we've already offered
you a position..
Cut to reveal: Chuckie sitting across from the executives,
hair combed down, wearing his Sunday best.
CHUCKIE
Since this is obviously not my first
time in such altercations, let me
say this:
Chuckie rubs the tips of his fingers together, indicating
"cash." The executives are baffled.
CHUCKIE
Look, we can do this the easy way or
the hard way.
The executives are completely blank.
CHUCKIE
At the current time I am looking at
a number of different fields from
which to disseminate which offer is
most pursuant aid to my benefit.
(a beat)
What do you want? What do I want?
What does anybody want? Leniency.
EXECUTIVE
I'm not sure--
CHUCKIE
--These circumstances are mitigated.
Right now. They're mitigated.
Chuckie puts his hands up, as if getting a vibe from the
room.
EXECUTIVE
Okay...
Chuckie points to the third executive.
CHUCKIE
He knows what I'm talking about.
The third executive is baffled.
CHUCKIE
A retainer. Nobody in this town works
without a retainer. You think you
can find someone who does, you have
my blessin'. But I think we all know
that person isn't going to represent
you as well as I can.
EXECUTIVE
Will, our offer starts you at eighty-
four thousand a year, plus benefits.
CHUCKIE
Retainer...
EXECUTIVE
You want us to give you cash right
now?
CHUCKIE
Allegedly, what I am saying is your
situation will be concurrently
improved if I had two hundred sheets
in my pocket right now.
The executives exchange looks and go for their wallets.
EXECUTIVE
I don't think I... Larry?
EXECUTIVE
I have about seventy-three...
EXECUTIVE
Will you take a check?
CHUCKIE
Come now... what do you think I am,
a juvenile? You don't got any money
on you right now. You think I'm gonna
take a check?
EXECUTIVE
It's fine, John, I can cover the
rest.
CHUCKIE
That's right, you know.
(turns to #1)
He knows.
Chuckie stands up and takes the money.
CHUCKIE
(to exec #1)
You're suspect. I don't know what
your reputation is, but after the
shit you tried to pull today, you
can bet I'll be looking into it. Any
conversations you want to have with
me heretofore, you can have with my
attorney. Gentlemen, keep your ears
to the grindstone.