Ask Lemmy

Eh. I get it. You don't owe anyone an explanation. Unless you've been dating for like 8 months or something

I've always associated the term with the online dating arena. However, I've lost touch with people after moving cities, or having various life changes occur (sobriety etc.), is that ghosting? I've had to go no contact with a few ex partners and friends for mental health and safety purposes, is that ghosting? I have adhd inattentive and occasionally respond in my head to a text message but unintentionally fail to respond in actuality, is that ghosting?

The definition seems to depend on the recipient to a large degree. A lot of folks here are saying "you have to communicate or it's cruel/cowardly/sociopathic"(yikes to that last one btw). Well, I recently had to end a friendship and I communicated to them, as kindly and as clearly as I could, that things had run their course. I did not ignore them or suddenly cut them off, I communicated. They didn't like what I had to say, and went a little bonkers, so I blocked them and now their story is that I ghosted them. Idk, it seems to be a slippery term in my experience.

I've never felt offended by someone losing touch with me or by getting busy with life etc. Life happens, things and people change, it seems natural to me that a lot of relationships have expiration dates to various degrees. The only times I've had people aburptly end communication with me was when I'd said or done something egregious and I don't fault them for it. That only happened back in my drinking days, I've not had it happen since getting sober ten years ago. In my experience, which is by no means universal, if someone abruptly cuts you off, it may be time to take a step back and examine your behavior and/or expectations. And if it turns out they were just a shit person, then let them ghost, good riddance.

Depends on how much time you knew someone. But I think generally it's speaks better of a person not to ghost someone. I'd want someone to tell me, and it's only right to do the same in kind for someone else.

It depends on the situation and level of time investment.

If it's someone you just met and immediately didn't vibe with I think it's fine, no time invested

If you've been on a date with them it's kinda expected to turn them down. Time has been invested, if it's a no don't let them waste time.

If you run into them regularly it's a bad idea regardless because leaving them on perpetual read with no resolution creates tension.

Both.

it's being offended for the sake of being offended.

i notice the people who complain about ghosting in online dating apps... almost always do it to me.

we had 'ghosting' in the 90s and 2000s too. we just didn't use that term for it. you'd go out with someone and they'd ignore your calls or avoid you in school. the message was clear.