You don't want to negotiate with your enemies unless they surrender unconditionally in advance? Of course you don't, you're 12.
You don't want to build transit because big car goes vroom-vroom? Of course you don't, you're 12.
this post was submitted on 03 Oct 2025
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Chapotraphouse
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Your politics are driven mostly by grievance and a desire to troll people who are different from you (and thus scary)? Extremely 12 behavior.
For years now we’ve sorta settled on the word “vibes” to explain a kind of felt-but-unseen aspect of our lives. At times it felt like that word was the only way to explain this weird emotional energy that was crackling through the air.
Turns out the reason for that emotional supercharge? Everybody is baby.
everybody is baby and everything is computer
At last we have found the true dialectic
I wish there was a computer program that could do all my work for me so I can focus on playing COD. Of course, you're 12.
This works as an addendum to my theory of politics that proposes the primary political concern of cis hetero white men is to not get perceived as gay, ever.
You read at a 6th grade level? Makes sense if you're 12.
I don't know why exactly but your comment made me realize 6th graders here are 11. And for us 11yo are the childish pricks, not 12.
just like 6ft and 1,80m. Not the same at all, but equivalent.
This lines up with the only movies anybody watches being capeshit and the only books anybody reads being YA or smut novels.
Americans watched Kid Nation in 2007 and said, "hm, yeah, let's try this for real"
Pokemon cards are not a toy its an investment actually. Of course you think that, you're twelve.
But.... bbbbut THIS Pikachu card is wearing a hat and it kind of looks like a Van Gogh so $$$ 
Nothing breaks you of this idea like watching your 4-year-old get a Pokemon card in a McDonald's Happy Meal and promptly fold it in half so it can fit in their pocket.
Of course they do. They're four.
Of course! And you let them fold that cardboard and put it in their pocket, you'll be better off for it.
Two of my friends have said that they “just want some land and grow some vegetables” which also comes off as more than a bit misanthropic. It’s such a weird fantasy that suburban Americans have.
Seems like a normal way to live, to me.
Its that they want somewhere green and quiet, which our cities should be but aren't. They dont want community because theyve never had it and dont know to want it. But they have been to a farm before, maybe for Christmas or Halloween
Notably the spouses of these men reject the fantasy because of the physical isolation of rural living.
I had a couple paragraphs of what amounted to trauma-dumping that I'll spare you, but it's my inclination to believe that it's not always misanthropy but just alienation from a hollow, cruel, and ugly collection of circumscribed commercial transactions and loneliness calling itself a society, leading to people just wanting space because they aren't taught how to cope except by being an atom in the void. I understand this less with people who have friends, though.
My dad has a cabin in Appalachia and I won't lie being there by myself are some of my best memories. I think some of it is my life is very loud, I work retail so people are constantly screaming at me, my parents are narcissists who are constantly screaming at me, most of my partners were short tempered so they always screamed at me. Nobody screams at me in the woods. Maybe I am a bit of a misanthrope, I don't know.
I'm not delusional about being able to live totally off the grid there though. If nothing else the soil sucks.
I used to work a farm back in my 20s.
It is hard fucking work. On your knees for hours weeding, and picking off insects (everyone wants organic, free-range corn but has zero fucking idea how to grow a weed, let alone what it takes to keep the corn loopers at bay). Sunburnt. Dirty. Get used to bruised fruits, sub par yields, and on and on and on.
Not to mention, the real estate required to raise your family on all those organic veggies. A traditional suburban 60x120 lot might grow enough, if you're really efficient. No row gardens, you're doing square foot gardening or something like that.
It is a daydream, by the same fellas who drive their urban bro-dozer to the office for their 9-5 job in chinos. Fucking LARPers.
zero fucking idea how to grow a weed
Like a tomato plant right?
Ive met folks who moved to the country to do organic farming, they had one of the following:
-a focus on cash crops like lavender, saffron or oyster mushrooms
-a secret grow op
-a tech worker girlfriend
-rich parents
Farming is not profitable and only the government or shenanigans can make it a living
I think it comes from some type of yeoman farmer/farmstead idyll and white fear of cities. Just like the “I’ve gotta keep a weapon for protection in my gated community” it feels like it’s more of a power fantasy and wanting to more fully control their lives.
most of them want the marie antoinette experience, to be in a position where they can have the parts of small scale farming that they think is/will be fun, but it doesn't matter if they fuck it up because they are financially secure and they can just go to the grocery store
It’s this. They dream of having what is essentially a side hustle that conforms to an escapist fantasy that conveniently nests within their current ideology. It’s the maximum level that they can “escape” the rat race of the rest of reality but if they fuck up they can still reintegrate like you pointed out ala the grocery store or using their primary income to offset the losses. Hell, a lot of these will probably just be vanity projects of one spouse where they probably get burnout once they realize how much work it takes to do it themselves. If they really did get that land watch how many of them would just eat the losses to have a big fucking yard because it’s not their real source of income. In a generation they’d turn 40 acres and a mule into golf courses and subdivisions.
Excuse YOU, I'm amazing at growing weeds! Pro tip for the newbs: let weeds come to seed, then mow them in frustration. Guaranteed huge yield
The problem I have is all the damn grass outcompetes and kills the clover in a lot of spots. I hate grass lawns so fucking much.
they're like that because of how other suburban americans are.
I think about it a lot, although in my fantasy I spend 90% of my time cleaning and maintaining solar panels which is a skill I actually have.
If there's any country that has managed to figure out a means of completely emotionally and intellectually stunting their population to keep them permanently at the intellectual level of a 12 year old, it's the US.
The MK in MKULTRA stands for “Making (the populace behave like) Kids”
honestly public education is not enough, we need public reeducation. similar to how you need to retake your driver's license every few years we should just make everyone do their high school exams again every few years. when you realise how fucked up boomers are because the last time they got any sort of education was back in 1960s and 1970s you'll never be the same again.
Where do you live that you need to retake a driving exam to maintain your licence? I swear, the drivers near me don't even know how to stay in one lane.
we have an eye test when you renew your license but no written or practical exam.
Thats not even far off.
You don't want to get shots and are making up some convoluted logic? Of course you are buddy, you're 12.
Democrats are bloodthirsty communists in charge of every institution because they're not doing exactly what you want? You're 12.
As said earlier, yeah it fits (almost shockingly well), because this country is populated by a litany of intellectually and emotionally inhibited adults.
Twelve is a little old for that sort of thing honestly.
Exact balance of infantile ideas and extremely hormonal
its more like a 5 or 6 year old