Asklemmy

Not quite fascist but voting for the most right party there is.
Luckily I don't live there so I don't have to deal with it.

How old are your parents? If they are retired, that might explain a lot. People say you become broad minded, wise and knowledgeable if you have ample time to read and educate yourself, instead of working more (that's why many people say society's obsession with work is a distraction tool to prevent people thinking that the system is rigged). However, it also goes the inverse towards extreme radicalisation.

I don't have a practical advise to give to de-redicalise your parents, but typically radicalisation is not just you have too much time to consume so many contents, but also loneliness is a factor which most people overlook. Hannah Arendt made a conclusion in her book, Origins of Totalitarianism, that loneliness is a precursor to totalitarianism. The far right (and far left as well) sell the snake oil that only they can bring people together again.

A lot of old people who are lonely are vulnerable to extremist propaganda because their minds are not in the right place. This is something to consider imo when you have to interact with your parents. Genuine human connection is the missing ingredient. A friend of mine has also become far right. He moved to London many years ago, and my guess is that because big cities tend to be individualistic, this made him lonely. The far right rabbithole created a sense of togetherness and purpose for listless individuals.

Edit: wording

Cut off, and I realized just how much toxicity they brought into my house. No regrets. I’ve heard from others that without other people to blame their problems on they eventually turned on each other and are divorcing. The family is now safe from them.

I'm from the UK so my answer will be mostly UK centric.

My dad has become very right-wing in recent years. He supports Reform UK, he uncritically supports everything Israel does, he thinks that refugee boats should be sunk by the Navy without regard for the lives of the people on board. He hates LGBTQ+ people and thinks same sex marriage should be outlawed. He hates Islam and Muslims, and thinks that all mosques in the UK should be shut down. He wants the death penalty to return and for it to be applied very frequently. He thinks protestors and activists should be shot and killed by the police if they cause even minor disturbance. He thinks COVID was a hoax and that the vaccines are dangerous. He thinks Trump is great, except for his stance on Russia (my dad despises Putin).

It's very sad how far down the rabbit hole he's gone. I always thought of my dad as an intelligent man, because he was pretty accomplished academically and was always interested in science and technology. He always put logic before dogma and emotion.

But the shit he's been absorbing on the internet over the past 10 or so years has changed him entirely. He believes every far-right conspiracy going, and has a violent attitude towards everything, seemingly thinking that everyone that doesn't conform to right-wing standards should be harmed.

I don't bring up politics anymore, but if the topic does come up somehow, I will tell him why he's talking bullshit. In my opinion, social media and online propaganda has done a serious number on the psyche of older people. They fall for every lie hook, line, and sinker. It's made them fucking insane.

We only see each other two or three times a year and have mutually agreed not to discuss politics since the unfortunate Christmas dinner of 2016, just after the brexit referendum, when I'd had a few drinks and rose to the bait. And they always liked to bait me, knowing I was involved with direct action and am pretty hard left. They got more blowback than they anticipated. I love them, I can even understand their positions, but they're not going to change and neither am I, so we just don't discuss it anymore.

You can love someone and things dont work out. Family or otherwise.

My dad was always conservative listening to Limbaugh and other talking heads as long as I can remember. He was always casually racist but then everything was ramped up in 2016. It grew to a point that he joined Facebook and every post was truly horrific. Gleefully enjoying violence. He was convinced Michelle Obama had to be a man. Every crude meme he could find he reposted.

It came to a head when I realized that I'm passively letting him say all of this, while at the same time I have mentors and people I care about that he actively wants harm to come to. It became a true moral thing, by letting him just say all of this, I felt like I was saying it was okay.

So I told him that he could either have these posts on facebook and his hate or he could have a relationship with me, but that I couldn't have a relationship with him while he had this much hatred towards people I care about.

That was the last time I spoke to him, he never reached out after that. It's been 7 years now since I've heard from him. He knows how to get hold of me if he should ever choose, but I've never heard anything from him.

From the rumors, 1 by 1 he alienated everyone else in the family, even coming to a screaming match with his elderly mother as she asked him to please be calm. Last I heard he picked up a new MAGA girlfriend and moved somewhere in the rust belt away from all the libs in the Midwest. I have no idea where beyond that.

I'm lucky. My parents flipped in 2016. My dad became a Democrat at 60 years old and hasn't looked back.

I was talking to him the other day and said, "Sometimes I wish you were still Republican, so I'd have someone to yell at." Like it's frustrating in a way, because I want to shake these people, like, how can you be this shitty? My dad laughed and said: "Sorry, it turns out I have morals."

Meanwhile my mother-in-law is still a conservative but refuses to talk about it, and it's not my place to push too hard. She'll be cut off eventually, when we have to flee the regime, but for now I point out the insane shit that's going on and she just giggles nervously, because she's incapable of confrontation. If she were my mother she'd have been cut off by now.

It's a shame, because in every other respect she's a wonderful lady. She always welcomed me into her family, and she's such an active, loving grandmother. Except for the part where she sold out her grandchildren's future because minorities make her nervous, of course.

Well, one of them died of COVID-19 without telling me that they even had it, and I don't speak to the other one.

My dad did not tell me because he knew I would tell him I told you so when I was like, wear a mask, keep your distance, maintain safety protocols at all times, follow what the CDC is saying, treat this seriously.

It was literally weeks before the vaccine became available. Like if he had just, like, two more months, I would still have my dad.

the world is learning how important a healthy independent media cycle is, right now as it is going extinct with no sign of returning. it's the thing that defines all of the average person's opinions and values.

My parents actually went the other way. They were very conservative while I was growing up until my mid twenties, and nowadays they are the complete opposite.

When they were conservative, I generally didn't bring up politics, but if it came up I didn't argue. I would just say I thought something was mean spirited and just shrug if they tried to argue. I think I accidentally psychologically fucked with them. I think being mean was against a core value of theirs and me repeating that idea slightly tweaked their thought process.

Eventually I started hearing the "mean spirited" comment from them as a reason they disliked a policy or conservative person. And they now vote for liberal or labour parties.

My grandfather and his family supported Hitler and were Nazi sympathisers. He admitted to admiring Hitler on his literal death bed. My mom never denounced or condemned him for his beliefs. She is currently ignoring the fact that my grandfather was Jewish and most of his family died in concentration camps. I brought up how Nazis were upset at the game Wolfenstein. She tried to defend the literal Nazis upset at a game famouse for it's Nazi killings.

I provided climate change proof from NASA data and she claimed it wasn't credible because the data came from NASA. SHE PAINTED A PICTURE OF TRUMP HUGGING JESUS. In her infamous extremely bad painting style. Off topic but my son had a portrait from her. He asked us to throw it away because his portrait was giving him nightmares. Made contact with an estranged aunt and found out that literally everyone in my family hates her art because it really is just that bad. Art is subjective, but in this case please make an exception.

Turns out my mother was always a Nazi, I just didn't notice the signs until I cut her out of my life.

UUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

i deal with it by just trying my goddamned hardest never to have to see them.

bury myself in setting up self hosted shit so maybe i barter a season of bobs burgers for an ounce of pepper once all the shareholders have extracted all value and moved on to the next planet.

i absolutely can't stand it.

deal with them because i want to use the pontoon boat? its just not worth it anymore

edit. did not realize it would format like that

It weighs heavily on me, to say the least. It's nearly impossible to have an even slightly tangentially political conversation with them that doesn't leave me deeply disturbed and/or infuriated, so I pretty much avoid it altogether. Now the deepest conversation I allow is "how's the weather" and "what are you having for dinner tonight?", and that's sad.

But it's absolutely the case that engaging with them on political stuff is destructive to my psyche. And even worse, they have a way of turning otherwise entirely non-political topics into something political. These are not the people who raised me or the values they raised me with. And there's no real logical consistency to any of it other than it's definitely going to be in agreement with whatever the latest opinions are on Fox News and Facebook.

As a kid, the only particularly "conservative" view point they shared was on immigration. They absolutely believed the whole "Mexicans are taking our jobs" bullshit. I remember even asking them why they aren't mad at their bosses for giving their jobs to the "Mexicans" and never getting a satisfactory answer for why that was given a pass.

And then from that one little common thread, the rest of the conservative/Republican agenda has wormed its way in. So, naturally as the conservative agenda morphed into a more fascist agenda, so have my parents' beliefs. With age and health related mental declines, these ideals have become more cemented. These are people who will never forget or forgive Democrats for NAFTA, but also believe that Republicans wanted universal healthcare for all yet Democrats gave us Obamacare instead. They grew up growing and selling weed to make ends meet, and yet still believe it should be illegal and people deserve to be in jail for it. They have a gay kid but believe gay marriage is wrong, because the Bible says marriage is only between a man and a woman, and the government shouldn't be involved at all.

They honestly buy into the idea that police officers and pastors are infallible. If someone is arrested, it's because they are guilty of something. No pastor would ever sexually abuse a child, they are a pastor after all. If the president says something is true, it must be true. And again, none of this is how they raised me or the ideals they expressed when I was growing up, so it's definitely like living in some kind of bizarre reality that's tough to come to terms with.

Anytime they bring up politics, I just tell them we can't discuss it.

If they press the matter, I say the same thing, except the second time I add: "...because it's going to make me hate you."

They've been borrowing my car to drive for DoorDash since April 2024 and still haven't figured out that this government they voted for is really fucking shitty.

I cut my Mom off. Dad was pretty deep in it too, he'd voted for Regan and Nixon, but he died before I couldn't take it anymore.

Meta: Lemmy doesn't seem to have something akin to Reddit's "QAnonCasualties" subreddit. That's kind of surprising as I think there'd be plenty of interest in such a thing. I can imagine it might be a lot of work to moderate though.

OP: the abovementioned subreddit might help you understand what's going on and if you tell your story you will definitely get a lot of support from people who have lost friends and loved-ones to MAGA/QAnon. Don't let the "QAnon" part of the sub name deter you, there's a big overlap between QAnon and MAGA and the sub has content from people affected by both/either.

Complete cut off.

My dad was in the military, but I never heard the sorts of things from him that I do now. He has started saying the N word to try to get a rise out of me, thinks Trump is going to “fix” everything, and every time I talk to him on the phone, I can hear fascist talk radio in the background.

We have learned not to bring up politics with each other. The last time I challenged him on it, he said I was being disrespectful, but I don’t accept that. He just thought I was supposed to sit quietly and listen to crazy ranting.

I have learned that in general it’s best to change the subject if someone wants to talk politics who I know I don’t agree with. Most people have gotten the point. We still get along great! We just have polar opposite politics.

Now I know that some people would question why I remain friendly with those people. The answer is that we have more in common than not. Someday, when everyone finally comes to the conclusion that the powerful and foreign are manipulating our political discourse to sow discord, we will finally be at peace again.

How am I dealing with it? Not well. I don't feel like I can talk to my parents anymore. They're completely disengaged from politics 100% of the time until it comes time to blindly vote Republican. They don't care that the world is dying because they'll be dead before it would impact them. Even though they have children and grandchildren. It sickens me and I have no idea how to grapple with that

I'm fortunate enough to not have anyone that close to me become part of the cult. Those who have, I've just stopped reaching out. Though that may not be an option for you in this case.

The best advice I can offer is to try to understand what a cult is, and how to work with that situation. A cult like MAGA is inherently irrational, so trying to win people over with rational arguments doesn't work. Here's one resource for how to talk with people like this.

I have not spoken with my fascist father in 11 months. Before that I spent years trying to reverse the brain washing. My mother moved out in 2021 because of his trump isolation. He told me that was the worst day of his life, I said if only there was a way to change that. He thought I meant make my mom become a fascist too.

My parents have always been conservative, to the point where in high school I was very much the same because my dad would always play right wing radio on the drive to school.

I graduated high school and went to college, where I was no longer stuck in such an echo chamber, and I slowly stopped believing in that horseshit.

But my parents never left that bubble, and when Trump came around it got worse. We fought each other on it occasionally, but still had a relationship. Then Biden came, and things got slightly better. I was less anxious at the state of the world. I knew things were still fucked, but there was at least a glimmer of a shred of hope that the Trump era was fading, and at the very least it wasn't something I had to immediately worry about.

Then the second Trump administration came, and our relationship fell apart. I was and am beyond pissed at them for voting at for an obvious nazi, among a number of other issues.

So we tried therapy for a bit, and it fell apart after about 2-3 months. So I was even more pissed off at them, and they were oblivious as to why I was pissed, despite explaining it to them numerous times. So now I'm low contact with them both.

I broke up with my parents about 9 months ago.

I need to mourn the good, morally centered parents, who taught me all of the principles that are now being sacrificed by my parents, or by the creatures they have turned into. The parents that raised me are essentially gone.

Haven’t had any contact with them since. Makes it a bit awkward with my siblings, since they generally feel the same but haven’t taken as drastic a step yet.

ITT: Really depressing stories of society's decline into ChristoFascist mania and delusion.

I mean lots of old people go quietly insane… the world moves on and doesn’t want their “wisdom.” MAGA feels like a club or a religion, it’s accepting as long as you want to own the libs or whatever.

It’s a simple version of America that feels like the good old 50/60’s… family values, beating the communists.

To answer your question, I tell myself they will be dead soon. We need to focus on saving the country, not our folks. Let them go.