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People whose parents have become fascist, how are you dealing with it? (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 1 day ago by pep@sh.itjust.works to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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I have 2 GOP parents, one that voted Trump originally and one that did not. Over the last 9 years, I have watched them both travel down the MAGA pipeline to become visibly fascist. The parents who taught me racism was wrong and to have empathy for others, have become openly hostile about immigrants, Muslims, and even parrot the Nazi "great replacement" theory.

Part and parcel with this, they refuse to have any discussions about the facts -- like immigrants not stealing and eating people's pets. They won't hear it, they won't even engage in the conversation...they just get angry and loud the second they hear anything that doesn't fit into the Fox News narrative. Can you relate? How are you dealing with it in your relationships with your parents?

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[–] pep@sh.itjust.works 24 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I just wish someone had come up with a novel approach to mend relationships between leftists and their MAGA-brainwashed parents, but reading the 40 or so replies here and taking your advice and popping over to my favorite redlib instance to read some of that community...it looks like success at improving these relationships is incredibly rare.

I do quite like the approach laid out by Honkology in their "why facts don't change people's minds" video and have been taking that approach for the last 9 years, but not only has it failed to move them one inch out of the cult, they have only gone deeper and deeper. Mentally, I have accepted the fact that it's not my responsibility to fix them, but emotionally, it's difficult to accept.

On one hand, all the replies here from people in similar situations has made me feel less alone in the situation. On the other, it has also made me really sad about how easily tens of millions of people could be turned against anyone who doesn't look like them, think like them, or belong to their same economic stratum.

[–] comfy@lemmy.ml 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I've looked briefly into the equivalent of antifascist projects, and former neo-Nazis talking about how their minds were changed. From what I've seen:

People can and do leave political cults
There's no universal recipe. A common factor among former neo-Nazis seems to be having someone close to them who doesn't tolerate the bullshit, so to me it seems the best approach is to stand firm, but leave a door open in the rare case that they have a revelation on their own. (Historically, this sometimes happens if/when their own personal reality begins to clearly contradict the propaganda.)
Many people simply don't leave, so it's unfair to demand those around them spend so much time and effort trying to make it happen. It can be a waste of time. It's a gamble, really, so again that's why I say leave a door open, as long as it's safe.

Obviously these are just second-hand observations, I don't have much personal experience with this, so if any of it sounds wrong then I'd like to know.

[–] pep@sh.itjust.works 1 points 15 hours ago

All 3 are great points. Thank you!

[–] fossilesque@mander.xyz 6 points 1 day ago

I am so thankful my mom is still just a stoner that likes high fashion, pun intended. I am so sorry you all have to go through this. It is mind boggling the change that the poison propaganda has brought. I lost some other relatives to it, but it's nothing like a parent. Hugs for all.

[–] bridgeenjoyer@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 day ago

Remember how the far right likes to chant that facts dont care about your feelings?

Its projection. They go off of feelings above all else. And whatever sky daddy tells them to think.