Lesbians... Those bitches be (statistically) crazy
this post was submitted on 22 Sep 2025
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FWIW, she was cleared and her ex-wife charged with making false statements.
So there's never been crime in space?
Wonder who will be first
This shouldn’t be omitted from the meme. Astronauts are some of the most level-minded people in this world, given the risks they face every moment.
I don’t think jealousy or insecurity would be a common occurrence given how busy they are.
Didn't they used to be pulled from test pilots?
When there was just one to three guys in a capsule, yes. The Shuttle brought in a lot more scientists on board.
Yeah, but Buzz Aldrin is still alive and he's definitely still his own variety of batshit insane given him beginning his fourth marriage at 93 years old.
The whole of the Apollo 11 crew didn't just go to the moon, they did it after the initial crew were incinerated.
The shuttle crews looked for responsible people of exceptional skill. But the early astronaut crews were looking for adrenaline junkies with advanced degrees in science and engineering and experience flying in incredibly dangerous conditions.
Actually, there was a high profile and notorious case of a female NASA astronaut and Naval officer named Lisa Nowak, who was placed on trail and convicted of felony burglary and misdemeanor assault charges. This all stemmed from an affair she was having with a fellow astronaut named Bill Oefelein, who both of them were married to different people at the time.
When Bill decided to call the affair off and started to see another woman, an Air Force Captain named Colleen Shipman. Lisa had an emotional breakdown and after her own marriage had failed. Planned on possibly kidnapping Colleen. She was eventually arrested at Orlando International Airport that she had followed Colleen to. Besides the criminal convictions listed above, she was dismissed from NASA and demoted in rank and forcibly retired from the Navy.
I don’t know man, this seems like an obvious case of alien body snatching. They just never learned to act like regular humans.
Don't forget about the part where she wore a diaper while driving so she wouldn't have to make any pit stops.
Considering that’s standard procedure in space flight take offs, it doesn’t sound soooo weird
You aren't pulling 7 g's in a space suit lying horizontal with fifty thousand pounds of hydrozene fueling a giant rocket with no off switch when you're driving down the road in a car. Some situations are different than others.
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lisa_Nowak
There are exceptions to the whole level minded thing.
I know this is the poop drive without even opening the link.
Among other things.
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"lesbians are accused in 100% of space crimes" is a much less fun statistic.
Lesbians continue to flaunt their spotless space criminal record
i dont want to have to see them not do crimes, please do that in your own room
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I thought some of the Apollo astronauts were illegally enriching themselves by selling a service where they would take people's stuff to the moon in their private gear allowance, and then give it back.
The Apollo 15 crew got in trouble for something like that, postage stamps I think.
Smuggling moon rocks back to Earth to be sold on the black market is also pretty lucrative iirc.
Fully Automated Luxury Gay Space Identity Theft doesn't quite have the same ring to it
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Your Honor, with all due respect, my client can only be put on trial by a space judge and a jury of her space peers
A jury of astronauts would be kind of fun if it were possible for them not to know each other already, but I don't think that's possible with the current number of astronauts
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Bringing "Be Gay Do Crime" to another level
Is ISS network traffic monitored? Because if it is, this was a really dumb crime.
Even without monitoring, it probably has a unique IP/subnet that shows the traffic came from the ISS. And the financial institution is definitely recording IPs.
To my understanding, she wasn't determined to have actually committed it, just was accused
Yup:
The claims were later found to be false, and McClain was cleared.[28] On April 7, 2020, Worden was indicted on two charges of making false statements.
So the person who's identity was stolen blamed someone who was literally in space at the time? LOL
Please tell me this entire thing wasn't an elaborate add for NordVPN.
OnBoard VPN
It's probably fully recorded. Everything in and out.
That way if there's a mishap it's possible to go back and reconstruct the entire sequence or to replay high fidelity simulations of the network traffic at the equipment to reproduce problems.
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Straight female astronaut drove 900 miles to confront her rival.
https://www.biography.com/musicians/lisa-nowak-lucy-in-the-sky
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Sounds like there may be a jurisdiction problem.
Didn't someone already commit theft in space?
Yeah, she stole my heart
username checks out
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smash the patriachy by being the first criminal in space.
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