I'll take the XL Pancit Canton, please.
Programmer Humor
Welcome to Programmer Humor!
This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!
For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.
Rules
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- Posts must be related to programming or programmer topics
Mmmmm... Caldereta...
somebody actually make an app where you log in with your calculator
One more reason for me to make an OnlyFans
Log in with caution
Carefully... CAREFULLY!
clicks the Delete My Account Instead button
AH FUCK!
I cahn't believe you've done this.
More like, "are you sure?"
Are you really sure?
Okay, but, like, are you for real sure?
Sure, just… confirm your password
Confirmation code sent to your phone
Now, log out and back in, to be sure
You sure, right? Didn't change your mind?
Okay, confirm link sent to email
Okay, but, like, take a look at what you'll be missing. Are you really sure?
Oi, I'll let you in on a secret: we got a very special deal, just for you. How about that? Sounds good, innit? How about we stop this silly thing and get back inside, so you can enjoy this sweet, sweet deal?
Aight, get it. You hate good deals, and don't care missing out on what we have to offer. Please call us at 0118**************** and explain thoroughly why exactly you're leaving. Btw, can we get that written as well? Just, y'know, a little dissertation on the matter. Just mail it over to our headquarters
Aight, just so you know, we'll have to charge a little account deletion fee. Standard procedure, here.
Hate to see you go :(
We'll miss you tons. Come back anytime!
*marks account inactive*
My mom says its okay to login
Half the people in here have logged in with your mom.
Sorry time=10pm and day=schoolnight so response was 'no'
We're going to return to user + password in the near future.
Please drink verification can to continue
The code is at the bottom of the can and can only be seen be shining a flashlight down it. This completes Step 1 of the verification.
Oh and it changes your pee color so it can reveal the ~~passkey~~ pisskey verification QR code on the urinal in front of you to complete Step 2 of the verification.
That pings your phone, you confirm that, which dispatches a dermatologist to your location to confirm your identity via birthmark. She hands you the frequency of a unique Chilean numbers station, you tune in to that and it reads off the one-time passcode you can use to login.
It costs the company millions a year but at least no poor person gets anything for free.
i never stopped
Passkeys, more likely.
so passwords (that you can't memorize) with extra steps
Half a cryptographic key that you can't easily give to someone over the phone by accident.
a very long password that (ideally) is only bound to a single device, requires a second identifier (biometric, PIN, password) and that is phishing resistant.
bound to a single device
yay vendor lock in. google or meta password manager salivating.
that's not the point, passkeys are not vendor centric, they are a standard. you don't want to duplicate a passkey for the same reason you don't want to copy an SSH private key on multiple devices. it's a security feature that allows disabling the account access in case the device becomes compromised (lost, stolen, infected, etc.)
they are standard, but so did xmpp or many others before.
xmpp is still alive and is still an open standard
exactly, but are people using it outside of proprietary apps like whatsapp? not really that much.
no use in being open if in practice its still controlled by monopolistic corporations.
i could use chrome or android as an example too. are there people using custom roms or forks and exercising their openness? yeah, but not that much either.
Bitwarden has been working great with me as sits transition to passkeys, even big corporate ones.
But yeah in practice, google and facebook are going to probably dominate because they are the easy + free option.
Log in with the honor system.
It's not the funniest one, I don't have an account, and I don't live near one. But if I ever see the option to log in with Jollibee on any legit service I am already using I am switching over to that ASAP.
I knew that potato would come in handy!
My 2fa tater rotted, how do I log in?
Use a PDF of the Wikipedia article on potatoes.
Always pick login with calculator, and spoof someone else's id.
Login with hunter2
Why can't i see your password?
I can see it, it's *******
you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
haha, does that look funny to you?
You're such a
i put on my robe and wizard hat
Honestly I thought it was great when OAuth started making it easy to use my various pre-existing IDs as logins for websites. But now I cant remember which one is which and my password manager doesn't give me any hints. Sigh.
Honestly that’s why I just stick with local site auth and a password manager. 1) it lets me remember things via my manager and 2) if it’s compromised, they’ll only have access to that site and not other ones I’ve used to log in with.
Form 137, nice.
Surely, potato won't sell my data, right?
No but it expires every 30 days and you need to plant it and grow a new potato before you can log in again
ah yes, the Monsanto potato strategy. I should have known
Login with your mom 👩🦳