this post was submitted on 17 Sep 2025
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Programmer Humor

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[–] niktemadur@lemmy.world 1 points 4 hours ago

I'll take the XL Pancit Canton, please.

[–] Tja@programming.dev 1 points 4 hours ago

Mmmmm... Caldereta...

somebody actually make an app where you log in with your calculator

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 29 points 16 hours ago

One more reason for me to make an OnlyFans

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 195 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Log in with caution

Carefully... CAREFULLY!

[–] somerandomperson@lemmy.dbzer0.com 35 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

clicks the Delete My Account Instead button

[–] 0ops@piefed.zip 15 points 20 hours ago (2 children)

I cahn't believe you've done this.

[–] lemmyknow@lemmy.today 19 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

More like, "are you sure?"

Are you really sure?

Okay, but, like, are you for real sure?

Sure, just… confirm your password

Confirmation code sent to your phone

Now, log out and back in, to be sure

You sure, right? Didn't change your mind?

Okay, confirm link sent to email

Okay, but, like, take a look at what you'll be missing. Are you really sure?

Oi, I'll let you in on a secret: we got a very special deal, just for you. How about that? Sounds good, innit? How about we stop this silly thing and get back inside, so you can enjoy this sweet, sweet deal?

Aight, get it. You hate good deals, and don't care missing out on what we have to offer. Please call us at 0118**************** and explain thoroughly why exactly you're leaving. Btw, can we get that written as well? Just, y'know, a little dissertation on the matter. Just mail it over to our headquarters

Aight, just so you know, we'll have to charge a little account deletion fee. Standard procedure, here.

Hate to see you go :(

We'll miss you tons. Come back anytime!

*marks account inactive*

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[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 59 points 19 hours ago (2 children)

My mom says its okay to login

[–] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 15 points 13 hours ago

Half the people in here have logged in with your mom.

[–] Auth@lemmy.world 5 points 13 hours ago

Sorry time=10pm and day=schoolnight so response was 'no'

[–] dumnezero@piefed.social 80 points 21 hours ago (4 children)

We're going to return to user + password in the near future.

[–] TeddE@lemmy.world 98 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Please drink verification can to continue

[–] Gork@sopuli.xyz 34 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago) (2 children)

The code is at the bottom of the can and can only be seen be shining a flashlight down it. This completes Step 1 of the verification.

Oh and it changes your pee color so it can reveal the ~~passkey~~ pisskey verification QR code on the urinal in front of you to complete Step 2 of the verification.

[–] Cevilia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 7 hours ago

That pings your phone, you confirm that, which dispatches a dermatologist to your location to confirm your identity via birthmark. She hands you the frequency of a unique Chilean numbers station, you tune in to that and it reads off the one-time passcode you can use to login.

[–] MML@sh.itjust.works 11 points 13 hours ago

It costs the company millions a year but at least no poor person gets anything for free.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 6 points 15 hours ago

i never stopped

[–] frezik@lemmy.blahaj.zone 20 points 21 hours ago (1 children)
[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 31 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (6 children)

so passwords (that you can't memorize) with extra steps

[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 26 points 19 hours ago

Half a cryptographic key that you can't easily give to someone over the phone by accident.

[–] independantiste@sh.itjust.works 18 points 20 hours ago (4 children)

a very long password that (ideally) is only bound to a single device, requires a second identifier (biometric, PIN, password) and that is phishing resistant.

[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 12 points 20 hours ago (3 children)

bound to a single device

yay vendor lock in. google or meta password manager salivating.

[–] independantiste@sh.itjust.works 2 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

that's not the point, passkeys are not vendor centric, they are a standard. you don't want to duplicate a passkey for the same reason you don't want to copy an SSH private key on multiple devices. it's a security feature that allows disabling the account access in case the device becomes compromised (lost, stolen, infected, etc.)

[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 1 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago) (1 children)

they are standard, but so did xmpp or many others before.

[–] independantiste@sh.itjust.works 2 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

xmpp is still alive and is still an open standard

[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 1 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

exactly, but are people using it outside of proprietary apps like whatsapp? not really that much.

no use in being open if in practice its still controlled by monopolistic corporations.

i could use chrome or android as an example too. are there people using custom roms or forks and exercising their openness? yeah, but not that much either.

[–] Zink@programming.dev 16 points 18 hours ago

Bitwarden has been working great with me as sits transition to passkeys, even big corporate ones.

But yeah in practice, google and facebook are going to probably dominate because they are the easy + free option.

[–] Metz@lemmy.world 10 points 19 hours ago (3 children)

KeepassXC supports passkeys as well.

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[–] danc4498@lemmy.world 4 points 16 hours ago

Log in with the honor system.

[–] Zink@programming.dev 28 points 18 hours ago

It's not the funniest one, I don't have an account, and I don't live near one. But if I ever see the option to log in with Jollibee on any legit service I am already using I am switching over to that ASAP.

[–] TomMasz@piefed.social 88 points 22 hours ago (3 children)

I knew that potato would come in handy!

[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 41 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

My 2fa tater rotted, how do I log in?

[–] TomMasz@piefed.social 21 points 20 hours ago

Use a PDF of the Wikipedia article on potatoes.

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[–] humanspiral@lemmy.ca 19 points 18 hours ago

Always pick login with calculator, and spoof someone else's id.

[–] squirrel@discuss.tchncs.de 70 points 22 hours ago (2 children)
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[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 34 points 21 hours ago (1 children)
[–] somerandomperson@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Why can't i see your password?

[–] Natanael@infosec.pub 16 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

I can see it, it's *******

[–] Psythik@lemmy.world 5 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
haha, does that look funny to you?

[–] Natanael@infosec.pub 4 points 15 hours ago (1 children)
[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 15 hours ago

i put on my robe and wizard hat

[–] wetbeardhairs@lemmy.dbzer0.com 41 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Honestly I thought it was great when OAuth started making it easy to use my various pre-existing IDs as logins for websites. But now I cant remember which one is which and my password manager doesn't give me any hints. Sigh.

[–] ramble81@lemmy.zip 19 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Honestly that’s why I just stick with local site auth and a password manager. 1) it lets me remember things via my manager and 2) if it’s compromised, they’ll only have access to that site and not other ones I’ve used to log in with.

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[–] M137@lemmy.world 10 points 18 hours ago

Form 137, nice.

[–] rem26_art@fedia.io 21 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Surely, potato won't sell my data, right?

[–] bampop@lemmy.world 2 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

No but it expires every 30 days and you need to plant it and grow a new potato before you can log in again

[–] rem26_art@fedia.io 3 points 1 hour ago

ah yes, the Monsanto potato strategy. I should have known

Login with your mom 👩‍🦳

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