memes

I'm a parent of one child who is the opposite of feral and never gets hit.

And while yes obviously we should not teach our children that physical abuse is how we keep people in line, this conversation needs to go far beyond the level if disciplinary tactics. What's the whole overall parenting strategy?

I submit that actually having a strategy leads to less abuse, and that those who are the quickest to abuse are also the ones who do not take the time to reflect on themselves, their parenting, life, etc. At least not in a way that could potentially make them feel bad or change their ways.

And I'm not even trying to position myself as a perfect parent above physical intervention. Especially when safety is involved. But you have to leave room for escalation. If everything is met with the same reaction of losing your shit, then no bad behaviors seem any worse than others.

I don't know if modern people are truly any worse at parenting than past generations, or if it's yet another example of humanity's shittiness being exposed by our explosion in communications technology.

Yoooo, I have two kids who I have never laid a hand on, and they behave extremely well compared to their peers (not perfect by any means, but I am very happy with them). My father beat the shit out of me when I was a kid, and what did that get him? Me hating him until now. I still help him and take care of him, but to be 100% honest, I don't have love for the man. You don't need to beat a little being who has no defense to make them behave, this is just absurd and stupid.

How about we just say no to the idea of beating kids

If your kid comes home from school saying another kid beat them up ofc you'd be horrified yet some parents are okay with hitting their own kids and it makes no sense

"Those pesky kids need a beating" is a meme several thousands years old

Yeah but then I see grown ass adults doing the same shit. And since they're my age they more than likely got beat.

The answer isn't to beat your kids though. I just think the current generation is taking the good advice to not hit your kids and is too impatient (or doesn't have enough time) to actually raise kids that aren't screaming all the damn time.

Every child i encounter is extremely well behaved

I see a lot of objectionable behavior out in public. A lot of it is from children. But most of it is not. If I'm thinking through my 10 worst flight experiences, or subway experiences, or coffee shop experiences, none of them involve children. Children are mostly a mild annoyance (and I say this as someone who mostly doesn't like other people's kids), but mostly harmless.

So the reaction of singling out the children for immediate correction, through physical force and violence, seems to be selectively targeted, and makes me suspect it's just people who just don't like children. Unless these same people say that a person holding up the line, playing music too loud on the subway, getting too close in your personal space, throwing trash on the ground, catcalling women, using slurs in public, etc., all deserve to be beaten, too.

And for people in the thread who are saying stuff like "oh yeah you shouldn't beat your kids, but you should keep those children out of public places," it also calls to mind the way some people talk about the homeless or the disabled, like they're ruining your good time by simply existing within your vicinity.

We're all just trying to coexist. Being in public, in a place open and accessible to everyone else, is inherently going to involve compromise, where we're not able to exclude others (the deal that comes with them not being able to exclude you). You can't let other people aggravate you enough to, like, post a TikTok about it (which I also consider to be objectionable behavior).

My 11-month old is an absolute saint when we're out and about, then a horrifying tornado of destruction when he's at home. I suspect a lot of it is just boredom, but its hard to tell because... 11-mo olds aren't great at verbalizing their discontent.

As he gets older and he starts losing that starstruck look of wonderment at the mall or a new restaurant or wherever, I suspect he'll be harder to control. But he's also incredibly clever, athletic, and curious. I don't want to discourage any of this just to make parenting a bit easier in the short term.

Can't fucking imagine actually hitting him. I know what that did to me after the rare few times my mom did it. I still can't bring myself to forgive her 30 years later. And there's no way I want my son thinking of me that way.

My mom had 4 kids. 3 of us were well behaved in public and she said "I would look at those parents with screaming kids in the store and think I am doing something right, my kids don't do that. So God gave me Janet. I was so judgemental, then I got one who screamed in the store."